honest opinions?

Question

I asked a question about a question posed to me by my daughter
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ajk.sgmp35PXtIIxUrzPnr8gBgx.?qid=20070818103809AAeTkpJ

some people more or less told me that I am not a good mum ... some told me to tell the truth to her ( but this truth was split between saying when we are dead we are dead ... or that we go to heaven if we are saved )
so what truth is it ?

A- is it bad that my kid is asking questions like this one
B - does her question suggest ( as dear Fitz told me ) that I am raising a disfunctional family
C - should I tell her ( as Mark suggests ) that mummy is going to hell and dragging her with me
D- wouldnt it be worse if I just told her my own beliefs and didnt give her options to decide for herself ... even at the age of 6

I thought it was a very good question she asked and I only wanted opinions

Answer 1

A. No, it means your child is precocious, bright, curious, and intelligent. It also probably means she's getting exposed to a lot of conflicting cultural weirdness . . . and wants to understand it.

B. Fitz is a smacktarded little twit with a tiny penis. *I* should have been lucky enough to have a mother like you, and your daughter is in the best of all possible hands.

{{{{{{{{{PANGEL!!!}}}}}}}}}}

. . . just had to throw that in there. *G*

C. Of course not. Mark is ALSO a smacktarded little twit with a tiny penis.

D. I'm going to buck the conventional wisdom amongst pagans here by suggesting that you not only explain your beliefs to your child---in age-appropriate terms---but that you BY ALL MEANS include her in your religious life.

It's called "parenting." Far too many of us in the US have such bad experiences with fundythumper upbringings that we abandon our children's spiritual education entirely rather than be "that way." Still others don't *really* believe what they *say* they believe, and that ambivalence keeps them hiding their traditions from their own children, who quite naturally get the message that Mommy's up to something so awful it has to be hidden away like a guilty secret . . . and then there are those, of course, with such massive persecution complexes that they don't want their kids to be "different"---so they send the message that it's better to go along and get along than be true to your own beliefs . . . which is the same as saying there aren't any beliefs to which it is worth being true.

Explain YOUR ways and YOUR beliefs to YOUR child. YOURS is the answer she's looking for from YOU. Include her in your *whole* life . . . if it's not her path eventually, she can make that decision herself, later on. Right now she just needs to be part of your life. ALL of your life.

Answer 2

1. No, it's not bad she's asking questions like this. It's wonderful that she thinks so deeply.

2. No, you are not raising her dysfunctionally.....Fitz can go to heck. : )

3. You should tell her no, that the baby will go to heaven and so will the mommy if she is a Christian....and let it go at that.

4. Your beliefs are right; at the moment of death we are no longer physical bodies but instead are spirit....and so they would go as separate beings. That IS telling her the truth, and no you should not just give her all the "options" of every belief and let her decide. She's 6.....and she knows there is a heaven. Keep up the good parenting.

Answer 3

Oh, Pangel, I'm so sorry!!
I remember this question, and I vaguely remember answering it with my own beliefs...
A-No, it is not "bad" that your kid is asking questions like this one. It shows that she has a lively curiosity, and ought to be encouraged, always, to seek her own answers (with a bit of adult supervision, but not interference...HUGE difference).
B-No, her question does not suggest that you are raising a dysfunctional family. If anything, it suggests that you are truly open-minded, where so many others only claim to be, and that you encourage your child to think for herself...and that can only be a good thing. (Tell dear Fitz to mind his own damn business...oops, can I say that, since I am a Christian?)
C-No, you should certainly NOT tell her that Mummy is going to hell and dragging her with you. You should tell her that people have different ideas about these things, and that people like Mark...well, maybe you shouldn't tell her that. After all, she's only six.
D-Yes, it would be MUCH worse if you just told her your own beliefs and didn't give her options to decide for herself...even at the age of six.
It was a very good question she asked, and I do hope that at least some of the opinions you got were minimally helpful...although, from the sound of things, I don't see as you need much help parenting your little girl.
May God bless you both...

Answer 4

OK I had to read the other question.
A) it's not bad, my six year old asks wild things too, it's normal
B) No it doesn't suggest that, kids are naturally curious
C)No
D)Just tell her that you don't know, most 6 yr olds attention span is pretty small, just tell her "good question, I'm not sure, but I think they'll both be in Heaven"

I'm sure by the time you're done reading this your kid will have already forgotten the question and be on to playing or something.

Answer 5

you should answer how she expects you to answer. i dont think a 6 year old can fully comprehend that some people have different opinions on religion. if you feel you shouldnt answer a question such as this tell her she should ask a priest or someone you think is more qualified. a 6 year old who is asking questions that deal with heaven can certainly understand hell and if you tell her you dont believe in god she will become worried about your eternal soul. when you think she is old enough to understand why other people believe different things then tell her you dont believe.

no you arent raising a disfuctional family. i was raised catholic and am now an atheist, then again my family doesnt talk about personal religious beliefs alot.

let her draw her own conclusions in her life by herself. it will be alot easier for her but it will take more time.

Answer 6

Sweetheart you are a wonderful momma, don't let those with angry hearts convince you otherwise!

What is the truth? The truth is none of us can know...we only believe. Tell her that then tell her about various beliefs. If she is asking such bright questions she will be able to understand that all paths are valid and that she can choose what she wants to believe.

(((hugs))) You have a darling and inquisitive daughter.

Answer 7

Just explain to your daughter what knowledge that you have learn and that she will have to learn from her experiences as she grows, if she seeks for answers, she will eventually find what she believes to be truths, as it comes together for her.

What I believe is when we die, only the body is dead, the spirit and soul is entwine and lives on until Jesus comes to collect us for the judgment day. some spirits are stuck here for many reasons, some on different levels- plains- dimensions, and some go straight to heaven. The higher dimensions can visit the lower, and the lower can move higher in time as they learn what they have to. Once we make it to heaven, we have a choice to stay with God in heaven or start another life especially if needed to learn something more. Once we decide to live in heaven we gain a new body that will withstand God's glory.

Answer 8

Oh that is a very interesting question, props to your child.
I suppose the best thing to do is admit you don't know. That death is a mystery to us and what does SHE think? Let her be her own guide on this.
When my daughter asked what happened to my husband's mother when she died we were stumped. He's atheist and I am pagan. We picked middle ground and told our daughter she went to live in the stars. If she looked up she could see her. Obviously as she gets older we'll add to that. But I have always believe the best counter to a good question is "I don't know. What do you think?"
Good luck on this one. It's a toughie.

Answer 9

Pangel dear, I think your little one is very lucky indeed to have you as a Mother...I think alot of people would of brushed her off...and the answers you got showed that..
She is a little girl that looks to her Mum for answers...and its only you that will satisty her in this...
Some children are VERY mature for their age, even if she is only 6...My granddaughter is like that...I can't believe some of the things she questions...
I think It is wonderful that they do this, it just shows what a brite and creative child you are raising...and it sure has NOTING to do with you being a bad MUM...
People here just don't think before they answer meaningful questions...and usually they don't even have children so that makes them an EXPERT...
YOU tell her what YOU want Sweetie...and don't worry about what these knotheads say here...I KNOW what kind of person you are,
and I KNOW you will come up with the right thing to tell her...(((((Hugs to you and your little one)))))

Answer 10

i missed this question the first time around and it's a really good question. kids ask the most difficult questions and you're torn between wanting to be honest and not wanting to upset them. i don't have kids myself but i used to work with kids and i find that honesty is the best policy, real honesty, not opinion. when confornted with a question like this i would simply tell them that no one knows what happens, maybe explain a bit about what some people believe but leave it at that and ask them what they think might happen. throwing the question back to the kid gets them thinking.

how anyone can think your child is disfunctional for asking this is beyond me, kids ask things like this all the time. the best questions come from kids because they don't have an agenda or anything to prove, they just ask honest questions.