My 18 year old has taken a plane far away to visit friens for vacation, how oftenis it OK for me to call him?

Question

I only know the friends through my son and speaking to them about the trip and flight. Is it OK to call my son every other day because he will be away two weeks. He is not good at calling when he is busy.

Answer 1

they grow up so fast....u gotta let go sometime!...tough call though, and funny how sex of the child makes it different!...guys we tend to feel can take care of themselves...a daughter I would be calling more frequently.... BUT....HE should take the initiative to call you first to let you know he arrived safely and met up with his friends without troubles...common courtesy!...but as we ALL know the male brain is wired a tad different ;0) ....being 18 (legal adult) I am sure he wants to fly and be free, I am assuming this is his FIRST solo flight... and there are 2 things on his mind...know it can hurt to not be one of them....but PARTY and CHICKS..(unless he is with his friend parents vacationing, OR on a mission trip) TRY your hardest NOT to call..this will let him know u trust him.. heck he may even miss u not calling, and take initiative himself~~..the times I would feel justified to make the worried mommy check-up ...would be upon arrival if he hasn't called within 3 hours of schedule...u were just calling to see if he made it ok...DON"T call in the early AM.-they will be snoozing and he probably would act more crass and offended of "mommy-ing" him...I would call on Sunday...(not tomorrow)....NEXT Sunday if you can hold out...but tell him something that he may be interested in...not a "check-up" call...don't interrogate when calling either.....OF COURSE, if a disaster happens near where he is staying....u can show your concern,....but HOPEFULLY he would want to call YOU to stop your worrying...the other time I think ok to call is before his return trip to make sure he has his poop in a pile and has confirmed his flight.....it is YOUR final decision.......but I am a firm believer that
"NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!"...and he will feel more independent!...good luck...have a mini vacation yourself and TRY not to worry!

Answer 2

Our older son is also 18 and he was away all summer working as a camp counselor. We heard from him about once a week by email because cell phones don't work up there and the camp phone was only for emergencies. The camp had dial up service but the office phone line had to be kept clear, and there was no wireless connection, so the kids had to wait till the weekend to read and send emails.

I missed him a lot so I know how you feel, but remember they're 18 now and if we did our job right, they're nearly grown and should be OK on their own. I think if your son calls you once a week and you call him once a week, that's probably good.

Our son is leaving again at the end of next week to go away to college, so that's going to be hard too. We still have a 13 yo son at home, so it's not quite the empty nest yet!

Take care.

Answer 3

I'm remember being 18yr on my first trip far away. i called her when we got there to tell her all was fine, my mom called the 3rd day
and then every 2-3 days from there, but she used excuse like do you have money left, i just wanted to let you know the cat has a cold that kind of thing, i remember how hard it was for her to let us grow up, get a few lady friends together and have a drink or coffee, share memories of your children together. she says it helped her as she seen us growing up in all the pictures, she did her job we turned out OK
good luck he is 18 on his first trip you did a good job, congrats

Answer 4

My 17 year old moved to another state with her grandmother. She was planning on attending college there and her grandmother needed some help at home. So she moved to gain residency and assist her grandmother. I can't lie, I talk to my daughter a minimum of 3 times a day. She is my little princess, and I don't do it because I don't trust her I just miss her so much. I've told my daughter that I would try to call less but she insists that I call because she knows it makes me feel better. I myself would call at least once a night just to make sure he is doing alright.

Answer 5

Every other day sounds more than reasonable. When my kids are away (14 and 11) visiting their father, I talk to them at least once a day (more if they call me more). I guess it depends on how close you and your son are.

Rule of thumb, though: keep it short. If he's with friends on vacation, keep the "call to check in" just that, or he'll balk at answering the phone.

Answer 6

Well, to Tell you the Truth, he will not like It every other Day, he will feel that you do not trust him, So I Suggest that you don't put a Schedule to the Time you are Calling, Just Call, But Not Every other Day.

Hope the Information was Useful,
Jeries

Answer 7

Call every few days, but do it in the middle of the day. That way you won't wake him if he is sleeping in and you are not interrupting any fun he might be having at night. Make the phone call short and remember that he is an adult now and that if you raised him well, he will be fine!!

Answer 8

here it is legal age for an 18yr old to be on his own...So..I would think he might find you abit of a motherhen for calling somuch.

Why not, if you must..let him call you collect.

I can see how an 18yr old guy, would find it "too busy" to call his mom...lol
relax..let him have his fun with his friends...loose those apron strings abit..he is not a 12 year old..anymmore.

Answer 9

ya just to see if he's "having fun" dont let him know your checking up on him cause i know it's rough when your kid leaves for awhile especially if they dont wanna take time to call. Just tell him you wanna see what kind of fun he's been having.

Answer 10

It would have been better to tell him/her to check in daily.
It's OK to tell them you are concerned & want to be informed.
But this will make them feel like babies in front of their peers.