My mum feeling blue..?

Question

lately my mum feels melancholy all the time. she is depressed and i wanna help but she doesn't let me. she has very few friends but she doesn't go out at all. she says that she is tired of being the first one to call them. my dad is so busy with his job that doesn't give a f*** about the situation. i think that they don't like each other anymore. once i told her about divorce but i understood that she is afraid of that and consequences that it has. she says that the kids(me+bro) won't feel good about it but watching her like this hurts me so much. and her job is so stressful and she wants to change it. she is 49 years old but acts like 70. help me plz

thanks to every single person that cared to answer. especially bernard love that obviously wrote the biggest. but i know it is not the size that matters. every person that answered this question showed me a piece of his love and i really appreciate that. i can't decide for a best answer cz i feel that each of u offered me something beautiful and helpful. thank you so much

Answer 1

Rather than trying to fix the bigger picture just try and make your mum smile without seeming like your "helping" her. Start an arts/craft project and ask her for her help, get out photos of yourself as a baby and ask her when/where they were taken, ask her to take you buy something new or for a coffee spend time with just her. make her time away from work happy. just make sure she gets told often that you love her. but the big thing - make her smile . it may not solve world hunger but deep down it will help her

Answer 2

I can really associate with all of your feelings. My baby was born on July 31 and I still get my down days. I think the hardest part is not being the one everybody worries about, because it's the only time you get fussed about! I also missed my doctor, at the end he felt like part of the family. I even told my hubby we'll have to make an appointment just to go check on how he's doing! If your having postnatal depression, I won't know! I also wondered if I've got it, but I'm too scared mentioning it, because people might think I'm being silly! All your feelings are so familiar, I'm still not eating, I just don't get round to it. If the baby sleeps you have so little time trying to get all the other stuff done, that time runs out. You can e-mail me if you want, because sometimes you just need someone to listen!

Answer 3

This is a bigger problem than you can handle by yourself, talk to your father, if he doesn't listen talk to your grandparents, aunts and uncles. Tell your mother how you feel, offer to go to counseling with her. Sometimes people who suffer from depression are afraid to seek the help they need because they think they may be labeled as crazy.You need to be very supportive of her, but do not sacrifice your life. You need to let her know that, yes if your parents got divorced it would be an adjustment. But that it would be better to live happy in a divorced home, than unhappy in a home with parents that don't love each other any more.

Answer 4

Unfortunately the only one you can change is you. You may need to simply allow her to figure things out. She is older than you and has plenty life experiences.
You may want to shop for a good therapist. As in any profession there are good and bad ones. When you find one you really like, use their experience to help guide you. You may want to invite your mum to come along to help you with YOUR problems, not hers. Just an idea, I wish you nothing but the best.

Blessed Be

Answer 5

hi, i think i know a bit of how your mum feels I'm also 49, and feel that thing's are just plodding along my children are always asking me what's p but most of the time nothings wrong i just get wrapped up in my own thoughts.why don't you tell your mum how you feel about thee situation, and that will help just knowing how much you care ,i really do wish you and your mum all the best as i do feel for the both of you susie

Answer 6

the most you can do for your mom right now is pray if your into that sort of thing. it helps if you sit your mom down not as her daughter but as someone who cares for her. tell her what she needs to do like get a divorce no matter how much it s going to effect her. she needs to realize that life is short and your last day could be right around the corner. when you tell her be serious and strict. maybe thats what your mom needs for you to get through to her. "TOUGH LOVE" dose'nt always hurt.

Answer 7

sweetie... this is bigger than you and you can't fix it on your own. Does your mom have any brothers or sisters around who can get her to a doctor? She needs medical attention.
Is there someone you can talk to at school who could get a referral?
Is it worth trying to tell your dad how you feel? It might help knock sense into him...

Get an adult you trust to help get your mom to see someone.

You should be out there enjoying yourself and doing well in school instead of this...
Good luck...

Answer 8

the best advice i can say, is talk to an aunt or uncle about this, someone that ur mom loves a lot. tell them your side of it, and what u have to live with, and ask them to talk to your mom. ask them to convince her to file for divorce, or to get more of a social life going. i know how it is, i been in both situations myself. so, just take your pain to an older relative, and ask them to reach out to your mommy. im sure that they would love to help you out.

Answer 9

Try not to swear! She may be a little depressed at her age. Ask her to see a doctor that so he can help her out. Now don't go take it out on your father, you don't know what's going on betwen the two of them???

Answer 10

Maybe she needs to seek the Lord to help her, to guide her, to be a better person, a better wife, and a better mother. Why don't you and your siblings inspire her to attend Church. You could all go as a family.
If she opens her heart to God, he will heal her pain.
With God in your life, all things are possible.

Matthew 17:20
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

*Once your family has faith, and believes in the Lord, you can all build your family and relationship on solid rock.
You all need a structured and spiritual environment.

Matthew 7
The Wise and Foolish Builders
24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
28When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, 29because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

Luke 6
The Wise and Foolish Builders
46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? 47I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. 48He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

You should also open and read the (NIV) Bible. Read the words and apply it to your life. When you arm yourself with God's Word then you can protect yourself and your family from the wicked. It is a knowledge that the Lord gives us if we choose to follow Him. We are armed with his word and are able to help others.
This is the best move you could ever make.
All it takes, is for one to lead their family on a righteous path.Be the Shepherd instead of the lost sheep.
May your mother and father seek the Lord with all their hearts so they may find comfort and peace. -God Bless.