Ifind that holding a wedding banquet is kind of old-fashioned. I don't mind attending weddings and I truly feel happy for the couples but to think of myself holding a wedding banquet. I don't fancy wearing a bridal gown and taking beautiful shots. In fact, I think the photos don't symbolise anything. I don't even think Ineed a wedding ring on my finger anyway. I just think most people want tohold awedding banquet because they want to let others know they are getting married and they don't want to lose face. is there such a need?
My mum thinks the opposite. She wants me to go through a formal wedding ceremony and hold a big wedding feast for all our relatives and friends. She likes everyone to join in the happy occasion. Isn't it kind of show-off?
Marriage is between 2 parties. Why must we make it so grand? What's the point? Is my thinking weird?
2007-08-18 07:41:08 · 8 answers · asked by Lost-Hurt-Disappointed 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I mean a banquet, not a reception. My mum wantsme to book the whole ballroom or restaurant in a good hotel and invite friends and relatives to the banquet / wedding feast which serve about 10 courses of food.
2007-08-18 07:51:33 · update #1
Your thinking isn't weird, it's simply the way you look at it. Not everyone feels comfortable being the center of attention, wearing the big, puffy, wedding gown, and going through the whole hoopla. If you don't want that, then by all means don't do it. There's no need to have a banquet, reception, or whatever you want to call it, it's all really the same thing, at least in the US it is. Many people want the pictures because it is a very special day to them, but there's no law that says you HAVE to have them. There's also no law that says you have to have rings, many people do, but some countries they don't wear rings, but other pieces of jewelry, or sometimes nothing.
If you don't want the big ordeal, then explain to your mother that you simply don't want it all. However, as a mother of a daughter, I can tell you I've looked forward to her wedding day (and she's still in school and no where near getting married) since the day she was born. I have visions of how she'll look in a wedding gown, etc. I would want her to have the whole wedding deal, but if she decides she didn't want that, then I would be disappointed, but would eventually want what she wanted. Well, probably...LOL
Maybe you could compromise with your mom. Have a smaller wedding, with a simple cake and punch reception afterwards. I don't think it's showing off, I think it's sharing what is probably the most important day in your life with those who love you, and letting them send you off on this new chapter in your life with love and well wishes.
Or, if you're just bound and determined to not do that, I would suggest doing a destination wedding, or eloping as a last resort. Eloping will hurt people, because you will keep them from your plans and not even give them the opportunity to join you. Having a destination wedding may solve all your problems. Look into it. Good luck!
2007-08-18 08:35:00 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
elope and then let your mom have a big party after the fact
Parents want to show off sometimes or - it's about pay back.. - we went to so many wedding s and now it's our turn to have one.
May be she didn't have the wedding she wanted so she is going to try and live her dreams through you.
Tell her how you feel. Tell her what you want. If she doesn't agree... you either have to compromise or elope. I find especially where brides' parents are paying the bill, the bride and groom really do NOT have a lot of control.
good luck
2007-08-18 08:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i want greater of a backyard kind wedding ceremony... like at an exceedingly intense high quality southern plantation, have the marriage cerimony interior the interior mid-day, with the reception exterior interior the night while it cools down. i want chinese language (or is it eastern?) lantern-esque lights with yellow roses and accents of orange with the main effective shade being white. in basic terms some human beings from the two facets of the kinfolk (like 15-25 each). and the nutrients would be set up like an stylish buffet. thats all i've got been given so a techniques, yet i think of it's going to be the perfect wedding ceremony for me (if my destiny husband likes it too).
2016-11-12 20:30:03 · answer #3 · answered by bhupender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it is your wedding, do what you want. If you just want a small affair for close family and friends, then do it. Weddings are about the couple and how they want to celebrate their marriage. If you want something informal and don't want to wear a wedding gown, then don't.
Be prepared to pay for it yourself, but something so simple shoudl nto cost a lot.
Even though your mom wants a big wedding if you explain to her how you feel and that it is your day, eventually she will accept it and I am sure she will support you no matter how you decide to plan it.
Good luck!
2007-08-18 13:38:03 · answer #4 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want to do and don't worry about everyone else. It's your wedding...they need to back off. And you need to tell them so or they will take over. If you want to have a civil ceremony at the court house, DO IT!!! Don't let anyone tell you that a wedding has to be a certain way. Heck, fly to Vegas and get married there. It'll be fun and no one will be around to tell you how to do it!!
2007-08-18 07:49:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Compromise.
You and your groom can elope somewhere fun and romantic, just the two of you.
When you come home, your mom can host the post-wedding reception (or banquet) of her dreams.
2007-08-18 09:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want a grand wedding, then why not go elope.
That's the simplist solution
2007-08-18 08:03:55 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's called a reception, not a banquet.
2007-08-18 07:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by NCW 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋