mental health and relationships?

Question

i got a problem. i have social anxiety (no friends, stay inside all day, hardly go to social events), severe depression and emotional issues which tire me out and fatigue me. i have no confidence or self worth, i feel im a burden on people and lower then dirt.

i met this girl, i like her, but due to my problems i ignore her, and seem distant and cold but its just shyness and fear. weve met 4 or so times now in a small crowd, i act the same everytime. ignore her mostly cant make conversation, little eye contact, only respond to questions, serious face. i was told she likes me. i dont give alot of feedback, not aggressive enough to make anything happen. im worried i will miss this oppurtunity due to my ilness but i feel i cant offer her things she may want like social activities and stuff. can relationships work in my position? its been 8 days since we last met, and i dont know what to do, am i worthy of her? all i can give is love which i desire too. i dont wanna be rejected too.

Answer 1

just get over yourself and try to be more friendly around her. you gotta get over your depression and im really sorry to hear about your illness its sad =[

the reason she likes you is proboly that your a nice person, which is definetly a good sign.

Answer 2

I have social anxiety and emotional issues but luckily I have only had this for about 1/2 years and I met my boyfriend four years ago. You sound similar to me though when it comes to any relationships, I have passed my first year at uni but I dont want to go back because I made no real friends and dont know if I can face it all again. I am also having real relationship problems and this makes my problems worsen as i'm constantly down and feeling upset about things. I am so sorry that you feel you cant approach this girl- I am sure if she knew how hard it was for you she would understand-I find people also percieve me as being cold and rude when my lack of talking is down to my fear and anxiety really. I think you are brave and should never question whether or not you are worthy of love and affection, of course you are, your condition just makes it hard for you to seek out relationships and its something that in time will get better with effort. If I was you I would ask her for her e-mail address or mobile number and talk to her on the phone to start with as you can have great conversations over the phone with someone but dont have to face the worry of doing it face to face, then inevitably when you see her again you will find things to talk about as you will have already broken the 'getting to know you' barriers. I wish you luck, just be yourself and dont allow these problems to destroy your chance at happiness. Try to put things into perspective, if she is a nice person she will understand that some of us arent loud or confident and she will accept you for who you are. Good luck and best wishes, x

Answer 3

I have suffered from this for many years and have overcome it. What I had was panic disorder with Agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is fear of the "marketplace" or in other words, fear of being outside of your comfort place like your home. You can overcome this with the right counseling and medication.

You cannot continue to hold yourself back from other people. It just makes oyu more miserable. Most often with me, when I was in a relationship it made my anxiety levels go down. I gained alot more confidence because someone loved me and was there for me. It really helped, but you cannot put all your burdens on someone else.

Remember to live one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, it will work itself out. You have nothing to lose with this girl and need to go for it. After you build trust in her, over time you two may build a great relationship. Gods puts everyone in our lives for a reason, remember that.

Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 4

Focusing on your own need for love is a very powerful step. It is acknowledging you need the company and presence of other people in your life, that it is not all about you all the time. It can be overwhelming when we do not feel good inside, because the reality of the world outside is simply added to that upsetting feeling inside and the two combined can do quite a number on us. We have to venture out somewhow. I go out on my bicycle, I walk a lot around the neighborhood and speak to people even if it's just a nod and a shouted "Hi!" as I go past. Sometimes people don't quite know what to make of you, they can't get a handle on speaking to you at first, they simply don't know how, because most of them have communication problems, too - but the fact they see me week after week out walking, making myself physically stronger, adds up somehow, and they eventually decide to be civil toward me and speak. It's just the way people are sometimes - they are reticent. You are not the only one, apparently. It takes a little time to feel comfortable speaking to anyone. I just put it out there and they can take it or leave it, but I have my life to live and I will just keep going no matter what happens. Self worth is the next big item. You are valuable. That is a given. You may not be in touch with that part of yourself right now, but you are special and you will begin to see it if you spend a little time thinking about it. It is not all about other people. You are here, too. Not to focus just on women. Include men, too - especially for friendship, as men can turn out to be incredibly loyal when they get to know you, because that is what they want too - a long distance friendship that is not weak or uncertain. If you can be a loyal friend you will have great value to many people you meet. Loyalty and the ability to really listen to others are two personal qualities you already seem to possess, so you have real value already, especially to others. If they are hurting inside, you are able to help them with that one, as well, because you know the territory.

Answer 5

You sound much like myself, I can rarely go out and find it impossible in social situations and suffocated a lot with too much company. I had a great relationship with a girl last year so it can work. We would get together once or twice a week just at my place, either watching a movie or chatting or with a meal. These were really just an excuse to get together. We had a great time and relationship. So ask her round because she will get tired of waiting and can only say no. Even if its a text or email invite!

Answer 6

hi, I even have been interior the psychological well being care gadget for approximately 11 years. i've got had one million psychologist, 4 psychiatrists, 3 psychological scientific examiners and not as quickly as did any of those human beings tell me that I should not be emotionally in contact (on a consultant point of course). The careworker units the obstacles, you carry on with consequently. And once you're assembly with a doctor, you're pouring out all your cares and heartaches with regard to the way you sense, how this is affecting your existence, your relationships (or loss of them) there is obviously going to be an emotional connection. i became informed from the very beginning up that each and each assembly is precisely exclusive and no tips might settle for to all and sundry exterior the room. so some distance, i haven't heard something being "leaked out". My adventure with well being care workers has been powerful. on your case, the 1st ingredient i might do is exchange workers or ask to have an recommend do it for you. tell the recommend which you decide on a worker who's empathetic and personable. in the event that they do their activity actual, they're going to discover you somebody like that. i choose to advise which you no longer proceed to make certain your present day worker. If there is any sort of have confidence situation, you will no longer get the great income of the care you decide on. My only right to you!

Answer 7

Worthy cause you are ! She liked you not even knowing you when you didn't even make an effort. So don't miss the opportunity. Stop sooking, pick ya self up, think how nice it'd be to have some one to share stuff with. Go for it. Find out how to contact her and do it. You'll soon see that you aren't that depressed person you thought you were with a bit of company. Good luck my worthwhile friend!

Answer 8

I can't really add anything more to the already excellent advise that you've received except to say that maybe you should write her a letter explaining a bit about your social background so she knows that you're interested in her. If you don't have the courage to ask her out on a date in person, ask her out in a written invitation. Chances are she'll respond with a 'yes'.

And it's important to remember the old saying 'It's better to have loved once then to have never loved at all.' Good luck.

Answer 9

National Institute of Mental Health

1-888-ANXIETY

Mental Health Resources and Information

Answer 10

If you want something that much, fear should not get in your way. Don't let it get in your way. Do what you have to do.. Fight the fears, you are worth something, and your not lower than anyone else. You have to realise that. I hate to say this but your abusing your own life, I know its not your fault, but someday it will be too late and having regrets is never good. So please, you know what kind of person you want to be.. Just try it and leave all your fears and worry's behind. I hope you can do this and be happy. =)

Answer 11

there are state agencies that can give you help. They treat people with depression and it will make a whole world of difference to you, so don't hesitate. If you have a full time job with a large company they some times offer help through their H.R. Dept. Good Luck