Ladies, Help Me!! My girlfriend wont trust me?

Question

Im 21 years old. 4 years ago I met the girl of my dreams, she is perfect in every way possible and I love her to pieces. The point is for the past 4 years I have been lying to her and she has found out. I lied about really stupid things for example my age, i said i was a year older so that i was the same age as her. I said I could drive when really i cant. I told her stories about my past that really werent true just to big myself up. I am madly in love with this girl but since finding out i lied she has left me and is having doubts of our relationship ever working again. How can i convince her how much I love her and how much I want to be with her. Ive tried showering her with gifts and have even tried proposing. I know she still loves me she has admitted it to me but the trust is not there anymore, to be honest i dont care if she trusts me or not. I just want her back in my life. Back my side. ADVISE ME PLEASE X X

Answer 1

I'm not a girl, but, YOUR AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck, your going to need it!

Answer 2

The incredible thing is you managed to pull off this lie for 4 whole years.
Building a relationship based on lies does NOT work. There is no such thing as a perfect liar, because they all get caught.

The only way you can hope to start getting back into her good graces is to sit down and level with her completely and start over from scratch... with the TRUTH all the way. It will take a long time to get her to ever trust you again.

Go take a drivers' education course. Go build your knowledge base. Go get some maturity, some integrity and a life.

The good thing is that after age 25 most young adults are out of college and in the work world, so it is all pretty much relative except for the integrity part.

Answer 3

Well u have 2 understand why she is having doubts about the relationship, it's as if ur whole relationship was built on a lie. No one can really tell u how 2 get ur girl back because in reality it's all up 2 her, all u can do is tell her that ur sorry, how much u love her, u know u were wrong, & that u did it so u can have a chance w/ her because u felt that u didn't meet her standards. Only time will tell but u have 2 be patient....& 4 the comment u made stating tht u could care less if she trust you, believe me u do, because tht will be a hard relationship & probably won't last very long....in a relationship trust is VERY important....good luck sweetheart

Answer 4

Hi,

Hun, she needs time apart from you to think this through. The girl can't be the girl of your dreams if you have lied to her. Everyone lies at some stage but these are some pretty big lies and a bet she will be wondering what else are you going to lie about if she stays with you.

Proposing to her when she has left you isn't that great either - it looks like a desperate act to win her back and doesn't come across as romantic.

Best thing to do is to write her a letter explaining why you lied and what she means to you and apologise and ask her to forgive you in it - don't be too desperate in it but let her know what she means to you - compliment her and tell her what it feels not having her with you ect....

Then leave it alone for a while and let her read over the letter and make own decision.

She needs to know she can trust you so you do need some big growing up to do.

Never lie as it always comes back to you!

Lx

Answer 5

He is doing what is best for the children right now. They have a stable home and family. When they are grown and out of the house, and they all agree to do a dna test, then that will be their choice. It is likely that he will lose the children if it turns out that they are not his. This will cause a lot of emotional turmoil for all of you. He loves the children as his own and wants to keep it that way. No one can blame him for that. To them and to him, they are his, and the thought of losing them hurts him so deeply. I would do the same if I was in that situation. Everything should stay the way it is until they are grown, then they should be told the truth and let them go from there. Even with you having children with him, it should not affect that in any way that he does not want a dna test. I am sure all of you, children especially, have become close to the twins....why take someone out of your children's lives for no reason? That would take a negative toll on your children as well. It could really damage your relationship if you keep pushing the issue. Why is it you want it so bad? To get the ex out of the way, to have fewer kids, what? Just accept them as you always have and put the dna test on hold for the years to come. At this age, the children would have a hard time understanding it anyway, and it will cause a lot of pain and suffering on their part as well as everyone else in the family if the test came back negative. He is right on this, he should not get it done yet. Him feeling the way he is now is much better than the heartbreak would be if they were not his. Support his decision and leave things alone for all of your sake. If it comes back that they are not his, then it will cause so many problems that you are probably not ready for. Also, legally, he would be required to report it if he knew for a fact that the children were not his. It is a lose lose situation if he has the dna test done unless it comes back saying that he is the father. Sometimes it is best to just let sleeping dogs lie.

Answer 6

No worries. Every guy has said stuff to impress girls... it's part of the game whether they like it or not.

Who hasn't claimed to a be an ex F1 racer car driver whose been kicked off the circuit for his bad boy ways? I know I have... just last night I told a girl I was royalty just to see if I could pull it off. It did.

So here's some advice from the Duke of Yardschesterville, the 87th in line for the throne of England--


Gifts and proposing to show love to a chic doesn't work unless the girl simply wants to scam you. Your girl must like you enought to be mad at you.

Go make a powerpoint presentation of your life until you met her, sync music, etc and burn it onto a CD. If you don't know advanced PowerPoint, find some tech head at local colleges via Craiglist or just post a flyer up.

When you know she's at her place, go there with the CD a note saying "Here's the real me" & give it to her. No explainations. Hand it off & walk away (even if she invites you in). Tell her that you hope she calls you back. Don't call/text/email her. Let her come to you. If she does then you're back in the game. That will definetly get her to talking to you. Hopefully it will work out for the both of you. If not, learn not to stretch those little white lies when you realize a relationship is happening.

"to be honest i dont care if she trusts me or not. I just want her back in my life. "---If you truly like this chic you really would give a damn that she trusts you. You seem like your more interested in keeping a good thing than actually wanting to be with someone. I could be reading this wrong.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I don't know y u told "stupid" lies. The things that u lied about weren't even worth lying over. If I were her, I would want u 2 apologize and explain 2 me y u felt the need 2 lie in the 1st place. If she isn't willing 2 trust u again, u won't have a relationship and ur going 2 have 2 do a lot of truth telling and *** kissing 2 get her back.

Answer 8

As someone who has been through this myself I have to agree that I wouldn't trust you. Four years is a long time to be lying I could see if it was a few weeks then it may be worth trying to start over but not four years. How would you like to find out that your whole relationship for the past four years was a lie. I say whole because right now she has no idea who you are and what is the truth or a lie. If you really want to try to make it work stop lying and maybe suggest counseling.

Answer 9

She is deeply hurt and feels humiliated that your whole relationship with her was based on lies.
Try and imagine how you might feel if she had done that to you?
She may or may not be able to be convinced. She will always wonder what lies you are spilling next.
All you can do is write her a letter and explain exactly WHY you told those lies and how sorry you are. And that you are glad things are out in open.
If she does not respond to that then I am afraid this will have to be a hard lesson learned.
Never base a relationship on lies...they have a habit of creeping up on you in the end.

Answer 10

Male rage here for the way you treat women. You sound to me to be a player and/or a punk. No MAN in your situation would use the word ladies unless he was on the prowl. Play'r! No woman in her right mind would go near you until you grow up to adulthood. From day one you have been dishonest a very very essential part of trust, which in its self is THE MAIN ingredient to a Loooooooong lasting relationship. It's dudes like you that really piss me off because you make it so hard for women to trust the real men in this world before they even get a chance. Sorry dude if that woman has half a brain you shouldn't stand a chance.

Answer 11

Unfortunately, trust is the foundation of any relationship and breaking that, is a serious matter.
Buying gift and proposing, doesnt show any change, and this is what your girlfriend will want to see if she is to carry on the relationship.
Change does not equal saying things because they sound good or because they wont hurt your girlfriend. Change means, showing her via your behaviour that you are now grown up enough to be honest with her. first things first, apologise to her, tell her WHY you lied to her, but do not make excuses for your lies. Let her know that you know you were wrong and that you want to regain her trust and that you know it will take time for it to come back.

The ball is in your court, and you need to make sure that you volunteer information, rather than waiting for her to ask you for it, as this could become frustrating for her. Volunteering the info like this will show her that you want to prove yourself by your actions and not just with your words or with gifts.

It does sound like you had some self esteem issues to want to lie to her in the first place, as you lied to 'big yourself up'- and chose not to be truthful about who you were. This was to make her like you, whereas you should like yourself enough to not have to 'make' someone want to be with you through deception. Perhaps acknowledge this if it rings a bell with you, and think about why you had to deceive someone to hve them continue a relationship. Was there any other reason you felt the need to do this? - Only you can answer this, and put in the hard work that is needed to rebuild a broken relationship damaged by deception.

Good luck! x