should I have been angry or not at my mom?

Question

My mom behaves in the same range or a 14 or 16 years old girl. She is focuses on my brother's "rock band" - which has on more than one occassion had to police called to our house for noise pollution (which she talks abotu how embarassing it is for having the cops come to our house afterward), and she also spends a rediculous amount of more on clothes, jewelry and purses.

I dont want to say the "roles of women", but in a marriage that started out one way...should stay similar to that way. My dad works full time in a steel factory, and my mom stayed at home taking care of kids, taking care of evertyhing in the house hold (food, clothes, ect).

My dad can't retire because he has to cover the credit card bills my mom is racking up! $250 dollars just yesterday! Nearly $2,000 two months ago. And hundreds in between.

She buys me things to buy my love? They are nice things...I dont want to take them, but she washes the clothes so they cant be returned.

Should I be angry or not?

I guess my parents married as Catholics, so divorce is not acceptable.

But my parents havent even slept in the same room together for almost a year. My mom sleeps on the couch during this summer since we got back from college. She claims it is better for his back and more comfortable.

Hey - yeah I have tried talking to her about it. This has been happening for nearly two years, but seems to be getting worse, rather than better.

And I continue to address my concern.

I try my best to be patient....but she really is pulling my patience thin.

Answer 1

Your mom sounds like she needs some help.
Being angry is natural, but acting on it might be counterproductive.
Have you tried talking to her about what's going on?

Answer 2

Draco sounds like your mom hasn't really grown up yet and is trying to relive her youth perhaps through your brothers rock band. If you think it would do any good it might be wise to address some of these issues with her and tell her of your concerns. Be honest with her and tell her that by not dressing age appropriate that she looks foolish and that although you appreciate her purchasing things for you that you really do not need them nor can she afford them at present. Sometimes we parents don't really understand how our behaviour affects our offspring, but often when brought to our attention things can change and improve. Best of luck and hopefully your parents can get things back on track in their relationship also.

Answer 3

You should try to stay out of it as much as possible. But you should talk to her and your father about it. Try not to take sides though. That will cause problems. Tell her how disappointed you are that she is the way she is. Also tell her how immature she is and that you do not like her spending every dime your father brings in. She should get a job to help pay for things at home as well. Let her know that she is preventing your father from living a happy life like he deserves and all he is doing is making himself miserable bc he has to work all of the time just to support her spending habits. That is not right for him to have to do alone. She needs to step up and take on her responsibility as well. Just try talking to her and be honest about the way you feel. The more you hold it in, the more tension there will be between you and her. Let it out whether she likes it or not. You just might be the one to open her eyes to what she is doing and she may try to make it right. Take a chance at it for yourself and your father.

Answer 4

Sounds like to me that your mom's drug is shopping. for some people it's alcohol, drugs.. but definately she feels shopping is a way for her to unwind and she may have never had a real childhood.. so she lives through her kids. . My own father worked in the steel industry and us kids didn't get a lot. My mom worked hard at teaching us the value of a dollar and she never went shoping. if my mom behaved like that I would most definately be angry and I would talk to her about my feelings. Communication is the key but remember to put yourself in your mother's shoes. there may be something there you don't know about. So be sensive, but it's okay to be angry too!

Answer 5

First of all, while this upsets you, your parents marriage is just that, your parents. What you are talking about here are issues between them and not something you should get in the middle of . It's up to your father to say something if he has a problem with what your mother is spending.

Answer 6

Your mom and dad's relationship is something for them to worry about. You can not do anything about it.

You can be angry, but angry doesn't change anything and it really only makes you feel bad inside. So let it go. Just tell her that you do not want her buying you things anymore. That you are an adult and want to be treated as such.

Answer 7

talk to your dad and ask him why he lets her have credit cards? and if theres anything you can do to help. then tell your mom your tired of her trying to buy your love and putting the family in a bad spot with her spending. that if she wants to try to be a good mother then she needs to start her part within the whole family,starting with your dad and letting go of her time with the band.

Answer 8

Tell your mom how you feel, and tell her how you think you can help her by limiting her shopping, Complain less, and focus on more important stuff instead of your bro's band. She needs to get a job so she work on something, focus on something different and totally stop bringing police to your house. Your brother can deal with his band on his own!

Answer 9

I would not be angry with your mom. I would be sad for her, she has a real problem. Stand your ground. Maybe you will be that pillar in your moms life that she needs. Good luck,

Answer 10

you have only 1 mom........