if you know there is something that is going down and have to say it may be illegal and involves my fiancee. afraid if i say anything relationship may be jeopardize really all i want to do is help him realize the mistake he is making. every time i say something regrading this issue he is like you overreacting. and i don't know if i report him to the cops would he take that as an insult or would that be a step in the right direction. i love him for everything he is worth but this issue may kill the relationship. i have asked him a few times to stop he keeps saying i will but he hasn't please advise me on what i should do need any advice possible? also how do you get someone to stop making dead promises another of the issues? thanks in advance. for you all of you answer be as kind as you can please.
2007-08-18 05:51:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lenny ,you really need to act , in the best ,way you can,
here what i would do, first you need to let him, know if he doesn't ,behave in the manner ,you expect , then its over ,
if he involved , in something, and you know about it , then your involved also, as well as legally,
time to draw up a plan, plan A, tell him , i need you to stop doing what your doing , and give him a time frame . say 24 hours, plan B , if he wont ,cant or refuses to abide by ,the rules, then you must, leave .
don't not however , make a false statement,
I'm leaving ,if you don't do it , then not leave ,
follow thru . always .
its for the best
2007-08-18 08:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it can cause problems in your relationship then you need to step up and do something about it. If you tell the cops, you can keep your name out of it and he will never know who did it. If it is an ongoing thing, then yes, you definitely need to do something about it quickly. It is not right that he is bringing you into this or expecting you not to have a problem with it. It would help to know what it was. If it is going to harm someone, you should tell it asap!!!! You will feel guilty if you do not and someone gets hurt when you could have stopped it. This could also make you an accessory to the fact. This is not good in any way. If you have asked him several times to stop, it sounds more like drugs. If this is the case, I think you should leave and let him do as he pleases. He is not respecting you in anyway at all by not stopping and by putting you in the middle of things by letting you know about them. There is no way to keep someone from breaking promises or from making them. The only thing you can do is let them see that there will be consequenses for every one broken. Leave every time he breaks one or does not follow through. He is making it to where you cannot trust him with anything, and that is really going to harm your relationship. I am sure that you have tried to talk to him several times an dhe has just blown you off about it. The next time, raise your voice and say NO it is a big deal to me and it is hurting our relationship and if you do not care about that, then we have some serious issues. Let him know that you will not stand for it any longer and have him choose between what he is doing and you. If he doesnt choose you, then you know that he doesnt care enough about you to keep you and it is a good idea to get out of the relationship. If you feel like it would open his eyes enough for him to stop, then yes, call the cops hun and let them in on what is going on. God Bless
2007-08-18 06:04:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one, but calling the cops on him might not be the greatest idea. Chances are that he would see it as a betrayal as opposed to a step in the right direction. Think about it, if the guy is involved in illegal activities and won't stop for you and makes you dead promises you might want to reconsider marriage. Marriage needs trust in it, and if you know he's doing illegal stuff and doesn't own up to his promises it might not work out so well in the end
2007-08-18 06:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by Lola 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off... there is such a thing as "guilt by association".
If this guy is into illegal drugs, and brings drugs into your house, and if they are found, then YOU can get hauled in.
Get out of the situation and move on. It already has killed the relationship. The lying and sneaking around will continue and get worse. He will doubtless do whatever he can to shunt the blame to you as well, given his reaction to your calling him on his behavior.
If you tell him to stop this bad behavior, and he won't, then you need to walk away. The only way you can get it across that you are serious and that there are consequences for his actions is to back up your words with action.
The only action he will understand is your walking out of his life. DO NOT allow him to yo-yo back and forth. This has the potential to bring a whole additional range of abuse into the situation as well.
Get to know any guy thoroughly first before giving them your heart. It is better to start out as friends and stay friends than start out as lovers and be abused and disappointed.
2007-08-18 06:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sooner or later ur going 2 be involved. As an accomplice or something like a driver, being a unknown subject.
U keep this guy and all he's going 2 do is drag u down with him. Ur life, u decide, but don't go crying 2 any1 when u get hurt.
2007-08-18 05:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by drillsgt77 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he loves you then he sould listen to you and take your feelings seriously. Sit him down and talk to him, tell him your worries and what you think could happen if it doesnt stop, you have to show him how serious you are and that you dont want to lose him. He has to start thinking about you more. If he doesnt listen then give it a bit more time to see if he will change what he is doing and if he doesnt then you may have to leave him to it and you never know it might bring him to his senses. I hope it works out for you!
2007-08-18 05:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you are in a bad position, but you have to think about you and the effect this is going to have on your life. You cant make people change you can only change how they effect you and your life.
Also think about to know about it and to do nothing legally is guilt by association. I would turn him in and leave him. It may be the very thing to make him turn his life around. Even if not it will make your life better.
2007-08-18 06:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by Steven E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you want to be with him when the cops come.? You will be charged too. He lies to you and will continue to do so. Break it off and run like hell! He does not have any respect for you if he will not stop his illegal activity. You do not want to marry into this!!
2007-08-18 06:00:15 · answer #8 · answered by oldknowitall 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all, he's killing your relationship, let him know. and tell him, either he stops, or you leave. and you aren't over reacting if it's illegal. if he says that again, get up and walk out. if he doesn't stop, then leave him, and call the police. it may be the wakeup call he needed.
2007-08-18 05:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would get out of that relationship...really...you dont want to get dragged into it and you probably would..i wouldnt report him cos you dont know how he would react...he clearly does not respect you either with the false promises..if he does care then he may think again if you say its over..if not then you are worth more and he didnt care for you anyway...good luck.x
2007-08-18 05:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋