What does marriage mean to people these days??

Question

Does marriage signify anything these days?? Do you think married people are more committed to their partners than unmarried people??

What is everybody's views on my questions?

Answer 1

Starred your question for you, very thought-provoking

Been married (yes, same person) almost thirty years & just dropped off youngest at his college yesterday, so we are entering a new phase as empty-nesters, feels very weird so far!

We are still in love and we do a better-than-average job making times for ourselves as a couple and trying to keep the passion alive, etc. I hate to make that sound like work, but there is a certain amount of effort involved and you have to nurture the relationship through the years.

I am fond of telling people that if you thing marriage is a 50-50 propositon you are probably headed for trouble. The only way to think is 100% from both parties at all times, if you both are willing to give everything you have then it will work through the tough times as well as the good times.

Marriage to me means different things at different points, new love, planning wedding, thinking about a family: all of those are relatively short-lived things when you see the whole picture. A lot of it for me is wrapped up in raising a family and working together to be the best parents that you can, but I also realize that that is just dependent on whether you have kids or not.

Keep in mind that marriage is a legal entity in most countries and gives the partners certain rights, like job pension, inheritance, and so forth. A lot of people don't think about those things too much when young, but they are the reason that marriage exists in a civilized society, to give rules and procedures to things and minimize family-vs-family conflicts.

Are married people more committed than unmarried? Not necessarily. A good "famous couple" example is Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. They never married (he remained married to his wife, the mother of his children), yet their close loving relationship is famous to this day in Hollywood. She couldn't go to the funeral when he died.

Great question! I will be interested to read what others say.

Answer 2

I think marriage doesn't mean as much to the majority as it used to, being unmarried but living with someone/having children has become a lot more socially acceptable & for whatever reason people are choosing not to marry.

As to the level of commitment I suppose people who are in a long term relationship but unmarried will say they are no less committed to their partners than married couples - but personally I disagree.

I've been bought up that marriage is sacred & adultry is 100% wrong. It is something so special shared between two people & it will probably mean something different to each person asked.

To me marriage is for life & it's a way of declaring your love in front of your family & friends & showing that you are as committed (as much as you can be) to the person you are marrying for the rest of your life.

To me it also creates an unspoken security - you've entered into the institution of marriage & made sacred vows to one another, if there's no intention of keeping these vows, people should not marry.

It's an old fashioned view, but I also think it helps to create an air of stability for children as Mummy & Daddy are married, they sharethe same set of 'rules' (the vows) & a surname, I know not always these days but if/when I marry I will take my husbands name so there are no misunderstandings/awkward moments amongst the outside world.

Answer 3

Means more to women than men. For some reason women feel they are successful if they are married and secure. They tend to hang around with other married people. They become a wife, a Mrs and then a mother and lose their own identity.

I don't think they are more committed, it's just a lot harder to walk away financially. The thought of what they would lose keeps them around a bit longer than they would have if they had been single.

I'm sure everyone believes the vows they take and means them at the time. But people change, circumstances change, feelings change. All things that are the last things on your mind when you are walking down that aisle.

I was married once. It lasted 5 years. I don't regret it but I won't ever marry again. I just don't see the point, rather live with someone, less hassle.

Answer 4

Sadly, it seems that marriage vows don't mean much to a lot of people. I have heard so many stories from friends about how their marriages are not working out, one or the other is cheating (or thinking about it!) etc. etc. Its really depressing, especially because these are "young" couples (married 10 years or less.) I feel like, when I got married, that's it. I'm in it for the long haul. Obviously I don't know what the future holds, but I don't plan on messing up my marriage by doing something I shouldn't, and my husband feels the same way.

Answer 5

Marriage means different things to different people. Some take it very seriously, while others marry someone they are not compatible with or w/o thinking it out. I've known both married and unmarried committed couples who have been devoted to each other for decades, as well as married and unmarried couples who are anything but devoted to each other.

If you want numbers and statistics on these issues, you could check to see if there are any studies on it. It doesn't really matter what marriage means to "people" these days, only what it means to YOU and your partner, if you've got one.

Answer 6

Marriage means an awful lot to me. Not only my own marriage
(11yrs) but the institution of marriage. I got married in a church not because I'm religious,but because I believe in the vows you exchange. I think that If you use these promises that you make to each other as guidelines for how you live your married life together that you can't go far wrong.
Too many people get married without careful consideration.

Answer 7

Yes people do tend to marry nowadays for money or just very soon for the hell of it not because they are actually in love. This is terrible, everyone should only marry when they are truly in love with that special person and they have been together a long time. Marriage is meant to signify love and staying with that person for the rest of their lives-this being a very good and happy thing!

Answer 8

I think a lot of it has to do with what you are taught. We learn by example. I grew up in a generation where everyone's parents got divorced, so many of my peers see it as 'no big deal' to break-up a family, and move on. They are a product of their generation. I have been with my husband for almost ten years now. I consider myself a loyal person, and take my marriage seriously. I can honestly say though, I am the ONLY one of my friends married, and the ONLY one who has sustained a healthy relationship for longer than three years. For myself, growing up in a broken family that was devastated by my parents divorce- I have plenty of memories and current reminders to make sure I stay connected, and in love with my husband. It's just the way it is now, commitment most often means 'for now' not 'forever'.

Answer 9

I've watched people treat marriage like it was nothing. When I got married, it wasn't about the day, it was about the man I was marrying, he is my best friend and the father of my child, I love and adore him tons. When I took my vows, they were the same I felt when I was dating him. I believe in monogomy. I just feel that married people in the world today, treat marriage like it was when my grandparents married. It is a union between man and woman, who love each other and are commited. I wear my wedding rings proud and I'm proud to be married to the man I am.

Answer 10

I personally believe those vows are unconditional but I think for the most part, they mean very little to most people nowadays. The commitment is not there anymore. People are going into marriage with the idea that it is temporary. They don't try to work through the hard stuff.