Gone through 4 deaths in 8 months. Will I ever feel happy again?

Question

father died last year, at his funeral my uncle sat by me and he died the next day. Then my fav uncle died in Sept, then my 25 year old sister died in Oct. It's now almost a year later and I'm still not right. Will counselling truelly helpped this lost soul?

in addition to that, I married on july 7th and moved to Cleveland, now I have no friends, no job b/c I'm a teacher and argue with my husband all the time. We don't even have sex. I feel so alone.

Answer 1

will you ever feel happy again?

That will largely depend on you and your ablity to move forwards from here.

Death is a part of life and hard as it is, we can never avoid it.

Western Society likes to dramatise it and create big issues around it. In other cultures it is celebrated, so they have a very different take on it.

The way we see it can make all the difference. Our grief is not usually for the person who died, it is for what WE lost. We miss them, we miss having them around and that is a natural way to be. Trouble is, we cant change what happened. We cant bring them back. Which means we are left with a decision to make. Do WE choose LIFE. (or do we die inside?)

I hope that you find your way back into the sunshine.

Answer 2

I totally understand how you feel. I am 29 and in my 8th grade year every month someone I was close to died. The last person that died was my dad, I was 14. I was a mess for a long time but over time I started to feel better. The one thing is though I am always scared that someone else close to me is going to die and I don't know if I could handle it, also I don't think I could ever go to another funeral again. Also if you ever want to talk I live in the cleveland area also so you can email me if you like. Take care and I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

Answer 3

Yes, you will feel happy again. I have been through something very similar and you feel as if you've been knocked down again and again and can't get up. But you can.

Yes, grief counseling helps, find a counselor or group specifically for that and go at least once per week. Feel the pain, cry, it really does help you move on. Remember the good times, forget the sad. God promises we will all be together with our loved ones in heaven. He also promises to heal broken hearts too. Talk to Him, He is always ready to listen. I will pray for you, take care.

Answer 4

I felt the same.. Ive been through 3 deaths of good friends in under 6 months.

The worst was when one of my closest, dearest friends was killed in a car crash early this year. I love him dearly and i never got to tell him how i actually felt for him as Ive kept it to myself and was planning to tell him near valentines day. I never did. It still makes my eyes water and throat tightening as I'm typing this. I cried myself to sleep for several months and i still do not go on a single day without thinking about him.

I think if i had not gotten help i would not know what to do today. My best friend knew how unhappy i have been, always tired from lack of sleep and being kicked out of work because i was not "enthusiastic" anymore. She literally dragged me to see a counselor and it has helped. I

Its someone to talk to, someone who knows what to say to you and how to help. I'm not at my complete best but without my counselor i really don't know what id do and how i would cope as she has helped me, along with the support of my friends, to get me back onto my feet.

You feel sad and lost but if you remain like you are you may not get anywhere or may take much longer to "get right". You feel alone but talking to someone who will understand really does help. I have even joined a group, its on once a week and other members are also greiving but we help and remind each other all the good things in life and offer a shoulder to cry on and a helping hand.

So try it, this time you really have nothing to loose...

Answer 5

Therapy can be a wonderful tool in going through the grieving process. Just make sure you get a good one. Sometimes we have to therapist shop until we find one that works for us.
I lost just my grandma, and that took a long time. You might try reading Elizabeth kubler Ross: On Death and Dieing. It's a very powerful book.
It will get better. Maybe never ok, but better.

Blessed Be

Answer 6

Of course honey because days will move on you slowly come out of this situation.Spend time with your close friend whom you trust also be happy or acquire happiness in smallest thing.Happiness is key to success.Do every that good deed that makes you happy.I can understand this things very well it's an not gonna good time but as time will you will be comfortable.Anyway life does stop,time will come when you will feel on the top of the world .

Answer 7

Your previous acquaintances that dumped you're no longer rather acquaintances. they do no longer care approximately you. It sucks being a youngster, and that i know it sounds like it won't in any respect end. yet, no longer too some distance off you will start to appreciate which you have have been given have been given an entire lifetime to take exhilaration in. i became a enormously depressed woman at your age (which wasn't some time past). My kin is enormously broken, and that i under no circumstances rather made extremely some acquaintances. yet, as I have been given older and intensely almost out of highschool i began out to appreciate that existence rather is what you're making it. once you are going to in trouble-free terms enable those issues to take your thoughts, then what's the ingredient? you're able to be able to desire to have confidence that, yeah, it rather sucks, yet there is many days forward and the destiny could carry unpredicted issues. this is as much as you to assist placed your existence in a course that makes you satisfied, or perhaps whilst issues get you down you have some thing or somebody to pass to which will %. you back up back. It sounds to me which you do no longer take many possibilities. i'm no longer asserting you should attempt to be suitable, yet you should a minimum of initiate slow. rather attempt complicated on a pair of issues. each physique has to take adverse aspects and make errors earlier they are in a position to truly understand a thank you to make issues artwork for themselves. seem for some thing which you like, and have a keenness for. I drew perpetually growing to be up, and guess the place i'm getting a level in!

Answer 8

Hey sorry for your loss,but try and hang in there.
I lost 3 ppl,close family members all in 6 mos a few yrs ago,and 2 in the same month.It was hard but through prayer and counseling i was ok.
You will be ok too,and yes you will feel happy again but it will take time.

Answer 9

People will offer you all kinds of platitudes and pearls of wisdom in an attempt to help, none of which will work.
Fact is, you've had an unbelievably bad year, and your likely to feel crap about it for quite some time. Bear it out, and don't worry about how long it will be until you feel better - it'll happen when it happens.
And don't let the theologans sell you god when your on a low point.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine why you got married before you got this resolved. Let your husband help you, sometimes a hug from the one we love is the best medicine.
Seek counseling, and do it now! If you continue to push your husband away, you'll soon be grieving for your marriage, too. How is your mother? She lost her husband and daughter, I would imagine she's had a terrible time. Maybe talking to her on the phone will help.
Pray about it, a lot, if you believe in God. He can help ease the pain, you just have to ask.
Don't expect to "get over it." We never get over losing the ones we cared about the most. Little by little, we move on. We get to where we can face a holiday or think about the one who is gone without crying. We forgive them for going on ahead and leaving us behind. Eventually we can think and talk about the deceased, remember and share fond memories, and know how much richer our lives were for having been shared with them.
It takes time, and couseling, either with a qualified grief counselor, or a clergyperson with experience counseling the bereaved, can be invaluable in helping you move on.
I lost both my parents, my dog, and had my marriage fall apart all in one year's time, that was really hard. I had my kids to think about, and I somehow got through it for them.
It sounds crazy, but when I was widowed, I focused on our cat! He was grieving, too, and I felt so bad for him. Every day, I would get out of bed, get dressed, and go to work. I didn't care if I lived or died, but I had to take care of Rusty. I couldn't have cared less if I lost the house and wound up sleeping in my car, but Rusty couldn't live like that. At night, I would curl up on the sofa in the too-quiet house, and hold our cat, pet him, cry in his fur, tell him everything, and he'd just nuzzle me and love me. That's all he could do. He understood I was hurting, and did his best to comfort me. That was how I got through it. I made our cat, the only thing I had left that meant anything, my reason for living. It worked.
My Bill, the man I hoped to spend the rest of my life with, has been gone 2 years, 5 months, and 5 days. I still miss him, I'm still a little angry at being left penniless, to fend for myself, but I'm living again. I'm engaged to a pretty decent guy. He's not Bill, but he's a widower, and I'm not his wife, either. We both know they're gone, and we're not, so we have to move forward. We're not in a rush. We are learning to live and love again, and we are healing.
The little cat I credit with saving my life and my sanity is curled at my feet, and I intend to see him live out his days with all the love and comfort I can provide, for giving me the focus and will to go on, when I didn't want to.
It gets better. Get counseling. Ask God to ease your pain. Find your focus, your reason for living, and hang onto it for dear life! These steps will bring you out of the darkness, and back into the light. I know, I've been there. God bless you, and good luck.