My step sister is 23 just turned. She has been with him for 9 years and he is 66 years old and has a kid 6 years old. When returning the UK I found this guy to be no good, in the news papers for conning an American out of £200.00 and in prison a few times for several things. He grows his own weed and I just don't like him. The kid is his btw. Am I right to hate this gueezer? I'm not sure how I should think or continue sending her money to help her when this same guy left her for another woman then returned 2 weeks later. She has no where else to go if she left and seems trapped and scared of this guy. Damn what would you do guys and girls? this would realy help me alot..
2007-08-18 01:53:11 · 27 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As sad as it is, you need to stop sending her money. You're just enabling the situation. When she gets desperate enough to take care of her kid, she'll figure out a way to leave him and do what she needs to for her child.
2007-08-18 01:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by lanagrl78 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Firstly I am having major trouble seeing how a 57 year old can be with a 14 year old - seeing as he is 66 and she is 23 and they been together for 9 years. Why isn't he on sex offenders list and why did her parents allow her to continue dating this man?! Anyhow ...
He seems a bad 'un to me so I can understand why you are so eager to get this man out of your step-sisters life.
Although I know most guys would want to use violence and create a wedge between their sister and a no-hoper this can at times backfire.
Although to you it may seem he is so bad (from what you wrote I no idea why she with him) but they have been together for 9 years and there is a chance that the more you create a wedge the more she becomes closer to him as she will be trying to 'prove them all wrong'.
I would just be there for your sister for when things happen - the only thing you can do as using violence just is a cowards way and doesn't prove anything.
Just be sure she knows what she getting into and how much you want to see her happy and feel she is not happy since being with this guy.
I would leave him if I were her because if they have been together for 9 years then he has obviously disrespected her as he has slept with another woman and had his son!
She needs to find another man - more her own age!
Lx
2007-08-18 02:05:41 · answer #2 · answered by SunshineApple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate. My parents are against my sister's boyfriend. They say he's lazy and needs to "grow up." but they practically pay for his apartment because his job doesn't pay enough. Now they hate him even more for getting my sister pregnant. Sometimes I think my sister feels trapped with him because he is the father.
I think your sister should dump him if he's like a druggie and he's like cheating on her. Or just leaving her for another woman. Your sister is still young
she can find true love without having to marry an old fart.
sorry I'm not much of a help.
2007-08-18 02:03:34 · answer #3 · answered by platypus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you not class this guy as a paedophile if he has been with your sister nine years then she can only of been a child. You are right to hate such a human being he is sick. Can your sister not stay with you if she wants to leave? If she doesn't which I doubt because she has been groomed by him for many years then as she is an adult all you can do is offer continued support. Why was this relationship allowed to continue when she was a child why didn't anyone report this man to the police?
2007-08-18 03:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong to continue enabling her. My first concern would be for the child. If you are sending her money anyway, why not use it to help her get out or at least some counseling. If he is continually engaged in illegal activity, they (mother and child) both need to get away from there. Unfortunately, you can't make anyone do something they are unwilling to do. Some non-judgemental support would be a great first step. good luck, peace
2007-08-18 02:02:55 · answer #5 · answered by Pilgrim Traveler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is just be there for her. Don't tell her what a scum bag he is, she already knows that and the more you put him down the more she will run to him. I had the same thing with my sister and I found out he slept with a women on their wedding day. Needless to say, she stayed with him and it went on for years and he left her. The sick part is she told me she would probably still be with him had he not left her. Hopefully she will wake up and leave him but until this happens, if it happens, just be there for her.
2007-08-18 02:07:50 · answer #6 · answered by wise1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister was with him when she was 14 and he was 57?
i find that incredibly disturbing more from his side as he's older and should know better but how would a 14 year old find a man of this age attractive?
it would be best if she got out of his life but if she's been with him since 14 she may be 'ensnared' in that relationship too deeply by now. Could she come and stay with you? would she leave him to do so?
Only she can decide to leave him at her age, but at least she has you looking at for her.
2007-08-18 02:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this guy a peadophile or something??? He was with ur siser when she was 14!!!! If they were having sex before she turned 16 that is statutory rape and he can be convicted... Check out what his previous convictions were if possible, u never know what u might find!!!!
There is always a way out, if that is what she wants.... She could apply to move to a hostel.... She could stay with friends till she gets something permanent....
Or as someome already said - u could scare him off!
I hope u find a way to help her.
Peace x
2007-08-18 02:37:45 · answer #8 · answered by BlueMorpho 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, tell her to gtfo of there, if she is completely dependant on him, then that is NOT a good or healthy relationship.
She will need all of your love and support in dealing with this, so make sure you are there for her if she does leave him (which she should! She doesnt want to get dragged down too??) but you will have to help her out.
She is really lucky to have a brother like you watching out for her.
2007-08-18 01:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by myleslr 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to not like him
Hes done crime and could go very dangerous if she did wrong with him and a child at his age cmon she can do better! hes too old for her theres better young girls out there
I would leave them be make sure they get a job and get on with their life and dont interuppt and then she will find out who he really is
Dont send her money you dont know what they buy it with maybe he bought the weed plant with it. You have every right to be upset and disappointed with her. Follow my advice: Leave them for a while to get on and dont send money and see if she really wants him. To me he doesnt sound worth it
2007-08-18 01:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by DaisysMumma13 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋