How do you deal with jealousy in a relationship?

Question

I always told myself I would never be the jealous type, but I'm in my first serious relstionship, and certain little things are getting me extremely jealous, even things I know I shouldn't.

My girlfriend has the sweetest personality, and she's very friendly to people, and I'm afraid people are going to use her and manipulate her, and that angers me because she has been hurt in the past by a lot of people and I wan't to protect her, but this protective feeling is manifesting itself into extreme jealousy.

Answer 1

Bottom line dude, trust....do you have trust in your relationship with her? Do you have any logical reason to believe that people are out to get her, or is this all in your head? You need to calm down, you obviously love and care for her, and she knows this.....if she ever betrays this trust all you can do is move on, thats all you can do dude, for now you gotta trust her.......

Answer 2

Well they might seem to have it better, but they may be secretly unhappy. A lot of people are less happy than they seem really. Just look at all the people on this site that have relationship issues. So don't feel too bad about yourself. What I would do is try to improve what you offer to men and relationships and maybe you will meet one that is higher quality than you're used to. Make sure you stay involved with life and have hobbies and such so that you don't focus too much energy into this not having the right relationship thing. It's not everything in life! Appreciate what you have and keep yourself entertained! If you are a quality person with a fun enjoyable personality eventually a mature man will find you and appreciate you!

Answer 3

It is commendable that you are aware that there is a problem in the relationship and that you are looking for solutions. I hope you are not easily offended. If so, please ignore this answer.

Jealousy is usually a result of insecurity; not being secure about one's self or a relationship or some other situation. Unfortunately, jealousy leads to anger and destructiveness. Wanting to protect your girlfriend is not necessarily the same as being jealous. However, becoming overprotective might cause an increase in anger and may lead to destructive behavior such as emotional, verbal, or even physical abuse, which could damage your girlfriend's sweet and friendly personality.

Are you able to speak to someone professionally trained to offer you advice? Maybe you can try this test to see if jealousy is really the problem:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/jealous

I hope everything works out for the best.

Answer 4

first off tell your girlfriend that you really care about her. And if shes a sweet girl and loves you back i dont think theres nothing to worry about. But no matter how strongly people like eachother jealousy will always be there no matter what. But you have to trust your girl. I think the best way to deal with this is to talk to her about it. and tell her how you feel, and how you are afraid of people using her or manipulating her. And maybe it will help even her realize that people might be using her, if she hasnt before. I think this will teach her to be more awareof the people shes with, and see whether they are real friends or just using her.

best of luck

Answer 5

Aww that's cute. But it can be bad too. I say, let her know. Tell her to be careful and let her know your concerns and how much you care about her. I think it's sweet, but don't make it sound like you're jealous. Let her know it's about her, not you. Being jealous in a relationship is normal, but when it gets out of hand, or when it gets too often, then you know... I also think that after you've spoken to her, you should be able to trust her, and then you wouldn't need to be jealous anymore, because I think jealously usually comes from mistrust. Good luck.

Answer 6

I don't agree with the person above - this isn't about trust, it's about personal security and self-esteem. What do you have to be jealous of? Seriously think about this. Are you worried that your girl will think that another guy is better looking, funnier, sexier, drives a better car, what?

Try to keep in mind that your girlfriend is with you for many reasons, and it's the magical combination of those reasons that make you completely irresistible to her. She loves you and only you, and there is nothing to be jealous of.

Answer 7

Relationships don't really exist. They're a figment of human beings' imaginations. They always end. So don't be ever be in relationships. Just be in flings. Relationships are like pets. You really want to buy one and have that great love and friendship for your dog for 13 years, but you know the day is coming that he will die (in the back of your head).....but you STILL go out and buy a pet b/c they bring you so much joy initially....relationships always end dude. Even in marriages-everyone cheats. Everyone gets bored w/ you. They leave you.

Learn this now. Live it. Relationships don't exist...

Answer 8

As serious as you are, you have to be a realist. You can't protect her. You can't protect anyone from hurt. When you have kids these feelings will come back even more strongly so for right now, just trust that she'll be alright. Stay open to hear her when she needs a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 9

well.. to start this off... everyone gets hurt.
and as much as we would like to protect those close to us we cant.
there is nothing we can do to save anyone from the pains life brings them.
what you can do though is be there to comfort her, and love her.
jealousy is something that if you let run its course will destroy things. so think about your relationship a little. do you have any reasons to be jealous? or are you just a little overprotective? if you dont have any reason to be jealous then just make yourself stop.
thats what i had to do.. and it worked just fine.
good luck

Answer 10

when you like or love someone alot you cant hellp but be jelous. I would try to find the bright side to it all. Dont tell her about it, she might think you dont trust her. She seems sweet and friendly, and thats okay. But You seem like a great boyfriend who really cares, so just keep taht up and try to get the jelousy outta ur head. there is really nothing you can do when you're jelous. just try not to pay attention to it. Good Luck! =]