Having children with mental illnesses?

Question

Do you think its a bad idea to have children if you have a mental illness? Depression runs in my family, and I got hit with it. I want to have children some day, but is it a bad idea? I don't want them to have to deal with what I'm dealing with right now.

Answer 1

The possibility of depression shouldn't keep you from having children if you want to. Your children may have to deal with depression, but they also may not. And if they do, you'll know what to look for because you've been there. Treatment is improving, also, so even if they get depressed it will be easier to work through.

Answer 2

It depends. Can you manage your depression? Having a depressed parent is damaging to children. If you're currently depressed, get your depression under control before you even think about having children or worry about whether or not they'll become depressed.

I'm assuming you have chronic reoccuring depression. Most people who get an episode of clinical depression never have one again. Depression is a mental illness. It's not always a long term thing that requires long term treatment.

Personally, I think that giving birth is cruel and I would love any potential child too much to do such a horrible thing to them. I also believe given the current state of world population, it's better to adopt or become a foster parent, but if you're biology outweighs your love and logic, be responsible and limit yourself to only one child.

Answer 3

I say YES. Don't let Depression run your life. I am depressed and currently on SSRI's and my boyfriend has had depression, and I will admit I HAD some of the same thoughts you do. However, I WON'T let Depression Dictate my life. Depression is putting these thoughts in your head. If you do decide to have children take care of yourself mentally AND physically. You know the signs of Depression and if or when the time comes, you will be able to get your child help if this should occur. There is a possibility that your child won't ever be depressed. Have you ever thought of that? Be OPEN and HONEST with your child from a young age about depression and what it is, this way if he/she needs help they won't hesitate to ask. Hope this helps!!!

Answer 4

Go ahead and have children. I have a schizophrenic father and a mother with bipolar disorder. I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (the depressive type) when I was 15 (I'm 17 now). I'm doing fine. There are many treatments and therapies out there for people experiencing some problems. I don't think you should think about not having children just because you think your children may become depressed. I believe that half of our society is already depressed as it is. Hope you make good decisions!

Answer 5

Go for it. Remember that environment can also offshoot the "mental illness gene." If you can provide a great, supportive and nurturing environment for your kids, you can make sure that they don't have to suffer.

If they do start developing depression, at least you understand what it's like in their shoes and you can get them the help they need.

Don't forget that people with mental illness often have other admirable qualities, such as strength for enduring such hardships in life, intelligence, great analytical abilities, talent, big hearts and a willingness to help others.


Good luck.

Answer 6

if you can control it, you have a good chance of being a great parent. sometimes depression can turn you inward, taking much needed attention from children.
i am bipolar, never wanted kids for this reason, and i now have a son (by accident). he is my whole world, and i would never change what happened. but i still worry many times that he will end up like me, and that is pretty scary to me. i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
i used to want more kids after he was born, but now that i have control over my bipolar, i realize that it isn't good for me or more children should i decide to have them.
that is only me, personally. i can't stand the thought of passing that kind of pain and responsibility on to another human being. i guess it depends on the severity of your depression. above all, if you do decide to have children, speak openly to them about your depression and what you are doing to manage it. they will understand when they are older what it meant to you and to them, and if they end up with depression they will be much more likely to deal with it the right way if they see thier parent doing the same.

Answer 7

This is not an easy question. I disagree with the folks who suggest to "go for it" as if it's always preferable to do what you want and take a risk. The risks are high and so the consequences cannot be trivialized. It is not an easy decision whether to go forward with pregnancy or not. It'll be a different answer for different people.

I am a therapist in a psych hospital and have worked with many women who were pregnant or post partum with serious mental disorders. For many of them, their pregnancies and early childcare years have been difficult. Post partum depression and psychosis and mania or depression during pregnancy are very scary and I've seen it be lifethreatening.

Here are my recommendations for things to consider prior to getting pregnant. If you develop a plan along these lines prior to pregnancy I believe your risk for serious problems will be lower.

1. Be under the care of a really good psychiatrist before during and after pregnancy, which should include very frequent visits during pregnancy and first year post partum. Decide ahead of time if you will stay on psych meds during pregnancy; if so, which ones. Most psych meds could (not "will") harm a fetus, esp in first and second trimester, so many start out pregnancy off meds. This is important: prior to pregnancy, decide with your doctor what type of symptoms would cause you and your doctor to consider starting back up on psych meds. Although psych meds have a potential to harm a fetus there are some meds that are much safer than others.

2) Keep in mind that during pregnancy and post delivery your hormone levels will be fluctuating wildly, with two possible consequences: increased lability/more frequent changes in your mental state, and if you are on meds of any kind, your blood levels of your meds will fluctuate wildly too, making symptom control more difficult.

3)If things are not going well during pregnancy and you are experiencing severe depression, consider ECT (shock treatment) as an alternative to antidepressants. Sounds counterintuitive, but I understand that it's thought to be safer than antidepressants under some circumstances for pregnant women...but not so safe during the third trimester.

4) If you are getting a clear message from your doctor/family/therapist that you are not doing well while off medications, please consider medications again. I've seen violence done by patients who couldn't remain emotionally stable and ended up hurting themselves and others.

5) Here's a critical factor: do you have real support from spouse, family and friends if you need it? If you have psych problems during pregnanacy/post partum, they will be essential in helping to fill the gaps in your care and the care of your family in general. Figure out if there are people that would stay for you for maybe a month or more if need be. Retired mothers or mothers -in-law seem to be the ones who usually fill the bill.

If you don't have a partner (or have a partner who doesn't believe in doing "women's work")
that could make things a lot more difficult. If you are a loner, don't have many friends/family who live locally, you are going to be in a world of hurt if you need to have someone share the childcare responsibilities for awhile.

In cases of post partum psychosis and depression, a critical part of the discharge plan is making sure there's another adult in the home while the mother's mental state is healing. This is often an out of town relative who agrees to drop what's going on in their lives in order to stay with the post partum mom in order to help out. Think if you know someone(s) who can do that and be prepared to ask for that help if you need it.

Answer 8

I say go for it...Depression runs in my family too, but if the kids know about, and you watch out for the signs, then they may never have to deal with what you are going through. Just be there for them and always talk to them about how they feel and stuff, so you will be able to notice any negative feelings they may have about life. Go for it!

Answer 9

It is a question I have often struggled with. My sister had this to say, "why would I want to bring someone into a world I hate being in myself?" but then again alcoholism runs in families and many alcoholics still have children. I don't know.

Answer 10

Read everything you can get your hands on about 'depression', it is very controllable. If you're asking this question, sounds to me like you're 'ahead of the game' (so to speak); and with that said, 'sounds like you would make a very good parent'. Stay informed, take care of yourself and by all means, 'Follow your heart!'