Must you first write "Dear" in the salutation of a thank you note?

Question

I recently sent out our wedding thank you notes, and my husband has informed me that his mother is "hurt" because I just wrote "Mom and Dad, ..." and not "DEAR Mom & Dad, ..." in their thank you note. I am one who believes in writing thank you notes, and I always make sure the ones I write are personal and heartfelt. Was it wrong of me to not use the word, "Dear" in the salutation? To me, this seems like my mother-in-law is nitpicking to find something wrong with what I did. Help!
Thanks :)

Answer 1

"Dear" is so standard that it may seem to many people that you intentionally chose to leave it out. She may be overly sensitive, but I can see how she might have been slightly offended. Send her a random card soon and make sure it is more affectionate.

Answer 2

NOT A THING WRONG WITH NOT USING DEAR IN THE BEGINNING OF A THANK-YOU OR LETTER!! YOU CAN USE A LOT OF CHEERFUL HEADINGS, SOME PEOPLE JUST WANT TO FIND FAULT. I know you are probably up-set about this, but I would probably try and apoligize, but if people are that touchy, something is wrong!! I THINK I WOULD NOT GIVE THIS A WHOLE LOT OF THOUGHT, I
WOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.

Answer 3

yea, she's being pretty touchy about it. Hopefully, this isn't a precursor of years to come! I don't always start a letter or note with "dear". Sometimes, I just write their names, as you did, and sometimes I start "hi (fill in blank)". Don't sweat it. Just be the bigger person and apologize.

Answer 4

She is being a giant ******. I'm assuming that the note was otherwise personal and grateful, and that you signed it with "love" or "affectionately" or something equally warm and loving. I hope your husband has the fortitude to stand up to her and tell her to knock it off.

Answer 5

Yeah...sounds like she has a few issues to work out lol. Just tell her, "Goosefahbah" (from the movie Anger Management). ;)