I am curious about relationships between smokers and non smokers... Would it be fair for a non smoker to ask a smoker to give it up if they wanted to be with them? I say it is fair, but wonder what ya'll think?
2007-08-17 17:07:18 · 15 answers · asked by Rav 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes it would be fair... i would say listen, i think i am falling in love with you and would love to be with you more and i just don`t like it that you smoke...i would love to be more in your life and would prefer you to be around so we could grow old together...smoking is a mental addiction as much as a physical one and if they had the support and love of someone that may be all that it would take so they can try and stop..its not that you are trying to change someone it`s that you care for them and want them to be around to have a relationship with...
2007-08-17 22:30:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Asking is fine, but don't make it in to an ultimatum by telling them to either quit or you are not getting with her. You could ask her also to cut down and not to smoke in front of whenever possible. I am a smoker and have dated lots of girls who do not like smoking, I just do not smoke around them, unless we are at a bar or some other smoky place.
2007-08-17 17:16:38 · answer #2 · answered by manachains69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is fair, because you wanted to ask before committing to a relationship.
But, if you really like somebody, why do you need to change them? If you are interested with the personality, then it has nothing to do with their smoking habit. If you dont like smokers, just looking for non-smokers, you'll save your time and instantly get what you want.
Btw, it is not easy for smokers to give it up.
2007-08-17 17:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by giov_giovanna 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you met that person they were a smoker and you knew that. If you like them, then you take them as they are. You can't try to change someone, things will never work that way. If they are that in to you and know how you feel about it and they are ready to quit then it needs to be their decision. Asking them to quit because you are a non-smoker is very selfish. I am a smoker and have dated many non-smokers, I tried to take their feelings into consideration and if it bothered them, did not smoke in their presence. However, I only once had someone who was adament about me quitting and that was when I was young and stupid. Anyway, you have to accept people for who they are and if you are that much against smoking I would advise not dating a smoker.
2007-08-17 17:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by Mystery Girl 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Great question!
Asking is okay, imposing them to quit is not okay.
Personally I don't smoke, and would prefer my future man to be a non smoker aswell.
However l wouldn't attempt to change them if they did smoke, to make things simple I just make a conscious decision not to date smokers.
2007-08-17 17:14:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's fair. but my mom divorced my dad after he started smoking again and wouldn't stop (among varies other reasons of course). If you and this person like each other but you don't want to be around a smoker it isn't a ridiculous request.
2007-08-18 11:00:50 · answer #6 · answered by luvs_2danc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way to avoid this is to not date anyone who smokes. If it's a big issue with you, then why would you even start a relationship with a smoker? I certainly wouldn't.
2007-08-17 17:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by nanny411 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never even consider dating a smoker. If I liked someone and they smoked, I would tell them: I like you and would love to see more of you, but I just can't tolerate cigarette smoke. If they like me too...who knows. If they didn't think I was worth quitting a filthy habit for...I wouldn't want to be with them anyway.
2007-08-17 17:14:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not really fair because its there choice of lifestyle. I really don't like people who smoke. I find it a huge turn-off. Not only second hand smoke kills, but I don't want to be with someone thats gonna have to carry around an oxygen tank when they get older.
Just don't look for people who smoke and when you find out someone does smoke then move on.
2007-08-17 17:14:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not fair to ask..... what if they say no would you dump them? Do you drink? If so what if they asked you to stop drinking...... I believe if you truly love a person then you need to accept them for who they are..... I've seen people break up over stupid things like one being pro life and the other pro choice..... everyone is entitled to an opinion and be who they are...... bottom line is this if you feel the need to change a person then they are not the person for you. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask them about it but if it is a deal breaker then I don't feel you truly love them.
2007-08-17 17:18:58 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥♥MiSSY♥♥♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋