How do i get past the pain??

Question

I lost my mother last June to breast cancer. I never thought that anything could ever hurt so much.Nothing seems to make sense. I WANT HER BACK.i'm like a spoiled child throwing a fit because i cant have my way.i am a christian and i know that my mom is in heaven i know that i will see her again one day but even a year later these words do not offer peace.Could someone please recomend a book in the bible that i could read that may help my heart and soul to heal.

Answer 1

Bless your heart, sweetie. I know I sound like an old southern woman, and that's exactly what I am...though "middle-aged" is a little more appropriate. One consolation, one suggestion. Your mom can see you and love you and watch out for you where she is. You can't have her back. She is gone on to the next life. Until you can accept that, you won't get any peace. Period.

Second, look to your Bible and to other books on spiritual matters...scan the NYT's bestseller list for books on coping with death. Go to a grief counseling session...or 2 or 80. It's healthy to grieve.

Here's another suggestion...totally free! Give thanks that you miss the mother you had. So many wish they'd never known the female person that birthed them and/or raised them.

OK, here's another idea. Take her spirite with you and do something positive in the life of someone who didn't have the mother that you did. Make her influence felt beyond the children she birthed. She was an amazing woman...become one for someone not so fortunate as you.

Let your love and respect for her turn into a contagious desire to let ever human know what you knew...mothers love you and take care of you. Shouldn't every child have the blessing of growing up with that knowlege?

It's just a thought.

Answer 2

All I can say is "time".. I know it doesn't mean anything right now, but give it more time.

But I am concerned about your reactions if it has been over a year, or did I misunderstand and it has been only a few months.

If it has been over a year, I would definitely seek counselling, you shouldn't be experiencing such intense grief at this point.

If it has only been a few months, then "time". My father passed away 22 years ago, and I still cry for him. My mother passed away in December 06, I am still crying. And my brother in January 07, so I understand. My grief has subsided to a dull pain, and only comes back now and again, I can have happy memories of my father, but my mother's death still only brings pain. I haven't even begun to deal with my brother's. One at a time. But with each passing day it does get easier.

Some nights I can sleep an entire night, now.. So Time helps..

Answer 3

That which is born has to die one day. No matter how long we live ,each one of us has to face death one day.

Christe often mentioned that we have to find the kingdom of heaven in self. But none of us are interested in that. We are only interested in the temporary things that the world is offering. Well Christe asked us to take the quest to find the eternal bliss instead of hankering after mirage of happiness in the world.

So pal nothing in this world is permanent all is temporary. But there is something permanent we all hold and thats love. Love makes things eternal. So be ocean of love.

I recommend u to read books of great souls like Mother Thereasa, Swami Yoganadha paramhamsa, Socrates, Thomas Alva Edison, The wings of Fire, to name a few

Well these books are various revelation of the sacrifices and the wonderous ways God acts through each of us.

Mother Mary is mother of Christ and so is mother to all of us, just go to her when u need mother.

Answer 4

Cry when you need to but try not to give in to it too much. That sounds crazy I know. But we have to have a healthy balance of grieving. Losing a loved one hurts. That is all there is to it. Different people deal with it in different ways. When I lost my brother I could not even talk about him for a long long time without becoming an emotional wreck. So I did not talk about him. My mother feels a need to talk about it. MY husband and siblings talk about their deceased brother a lot. That is OK, we are all different and no one is right or wrong. I am sorry for your loss. Try to keep yourself distracted when you can. Time will help some.

Answer 5

I have lost both of my parents, It is very hard to lose a mother. It is okay to feel the way that you do. Sometimes I still feel that way and my mother has been gone since 89. I think the book for you will be something God leads you to. I know he loves you and didn't want to hurt you but it is just part of life because of the choices Adam and eve made....and because of the choices we make. I look forward to heaven and being reunite with all those that have gone before me. a book by Ruth graham called "Why" is a wonderful little book as for books of the bible.....psalms......

Answer 6

i'm sorry. i lost both my parents seven years ago. nothing ever prepares you for this kind of pain and the grief can be like drowning...there are many scriptures in the bible that can be of comfort - these were the ones that spoke clearly to me:

rev. 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

ps. 147: 3 He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.

Answer 7

I know very much what you're going through; I'm a christian too and took care of my mom as she died from cancer.
It's hard right now; almost like you've just had your entire body twisted inside and you're left there bleeding to death. I wish I could say that you will wake up in a few days and everything will be just as they were; but that's not true.
Recovery is slow, but it does take place.
God is there for you, He really is. Death brings great sadness to us who are left behind, but great joy to those who go onto be in God's perfect presence.
Reading the book of John is always comforting to me, but I strongly suggest you find some praise and worship music to listen to as well, or even just some good instrumental music to sooth your soul.
It will take time; I've even lost a child so I know grief only too well. The wound in your soul seems as big as the grand canyon right now, but in time it will scab over and begin to shrink and eventually the scare will heal.
You'll be in my prayers; God bless.

Answer 8

My dad died this May and my brother died July 11th in 01. My brother in law died a few weeks ago and my cat is dying with diabetes and I found out today that my daughter had a miscarriage. She was 3 mos. pregnant with our 2nd grandchild, so I can tell you that I do know what you are going through. I am reading a book right now called A Time To Mourn & A Time To Dance. So far it has been pretty good. I will pray for you, please pray for me also.Don't listen to those who are telling you how or how long, you should be greiving. Your greif is your own and nobody elses. God bless!!

Answer 9

honestly, i don't know if a book or a book of the bible is really what you need.

please consider finding a christian counselor - ask your pastor or another church leader to help you find someone.

why a counselor? because that person is paid to allow you to be the focus of your cares for the time you are together. he or she is am impartial party, able to objectivly see what you may be missing.

please don't reject this idea right away - think and pray about it and look into it. if it isn't for you, okay.

another thought is to try to find a support group. depending on where you live, you may find that another area church has a support group that you could attend.

i am so sorry you are hurting - i wish i could make it better. allow your faith to comfort you - and allow another to help you. it will ease your burden to share it.

Answer 10

I'm really very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you are feeling - have you tried getting counseling? Sometimes having someone to talk to and lean on makes all the difference in the world.

Just don't allow yourself to suffer alone. Know that there are always people out there who are there to lend a shoulder when it's needed. Best regards, and best wishes.