Need help with 4 year old please!!?

Question

I've recently gained custody of my son. He lived with his mom and her family since he was born, and I haven't had much involvment with his upbringing until now.

I have a list of problems I need help with, but as Y! Answers limits the length of questions, I'm going to ask many.

1. My son is four in October, and has been fed a bad diet since he was born of fast-food, fried chicken, ice-cream, soda and candy. He had the chicken, fast food and soda because that's what my ex and her family always ate (they didn't even have a stove at home), and he'd get ice-cream, candy, chips, and soda again when he was bad because it "shut him up".

Now he weighs 102lb, and his teeth are so rotten that two on the bottom fell out this week, and the six on top at the front are brown and have been pushed back up into his gums. Also he's never brushed his teeth.

He refuses to eat anything I give him that isn't the above, but what can I do about his weight and teeth now?

Answer 1

wow good luck to you...
do not give in to his cravings for unhealthy food - you are the parent.. sadly the unhealthy foods mostly contain fat and sugar - both of which are slightly addictive..
thankfully he is not a teenager - he lives in your home and you can control what you bring into your home..
juice and milk - NO soda (it actually contributes to Attention Deficeit as well as obesity and teeth problems) and water - nothing else.. (chocolate milk is ok as a treat only - he needs to get use to regular milk...)
obviously the fried chicken is bad...

assuming you can cook - please do.. offer him healthy foods and if he doesnt eat them - oh well.. he will go hungry until he eats..

pick healthy breakfast cereals too..

ice cream can be okay - if its a good kind.. you can get Vanilla and offer it ONLY as reward for eating a good meal..

no candy - be firm - let him throw fits.. after fit - let him go through with drawl.. be tough..

go for walks - go to the park - see a dentist.. make sure you brush his teeth daily until he learns how..
DO NOT GIVE IN!!!!!

Answer 2

For brushing his teeth try the tune tooth brush, let him pick out his favorite song,and it plays while he brushes his teeth. It's worth a try my son loves his and now he brushes his teeth w/o a fight. Try sugar free candy lets try it as a reward (i know you are not suppose to reward with food) but lets not try to change too much. He has been through a lot and living with you is a big change. When you give him a time out stick with it show him that he has to back down because you are here to stay and that is not changing. Have him help with dinner they are more welling to eat if they think that they were involved

Answer 3

Oh honey...that is just not good; I'm sorry to hear this. As for his teeth; you need to get him a pediatric dentist ASAP before he ruins his permanent teeth that are forming under his gums.
As for the weight; that will take time. My husband is in the Military and he works out one or more times a day. He involves our children when he is home. It's great for them to see YOU doing things you want them to follow. Get him a bike with training wheels and you jog beside him for a few laps around the neighborhood. Get him involved in swim lessons; it's summer time and the pool is a GREAT way to exercise for children; it's really fun for them. Get him involved in a sport, then he can meet other children and get exercise at the same time. If there aren't any sports for his age, then get him into gymnastics. Go out and play ball with him, take him to the park, play tag....anything that will get him moving and is fun for him.
The eating is also going to take time. Old habits die hard and all that... The BEST thing you can do for him is NOT to give him ANY sweets or fast food for the next six weeks. Tastes and habits do change and that is about how long it takes. So, if you really want to change his behavior toward food you need to make healthy meals, find healthy snacks and consistently give him those things. If he won't eat them...don't worry about it. He'll get hungry and eventually he'll eat what you put in front of him. You can give choices of two or three things for now since it's new to him and this is going to be a hard adjustment. Ask him if he would like peanut butter and jelly or turkey and cheese for a sandwich on wheat bread. Or, if he would like yogurt, apple slices or carrot sticks for a snack. If you are giving him choices he might be more apt to eat what he's picked out.
Good luck to you and your son. It's going to be long and difficult. I read and posted on your other questions. You're going to be a good dad; it's wonderful you're asking for help...that shows strong character. Take care.

Answer 4

Congratulations on stepping up, you may have saved this child's life. You might want to get the professional opinion of doctors and therapists first of all, but there are a few things you can go ahead and try.

Make a game out of brushing his teeth and reward him with something positive when you succeed in getting him to do it. Their condition now is worrisome, but as they're only baby teeth you don't need to worry too much. They will fall out and if you keep his adult teeth healthy, you're fine.

Make a game out of eating as well, and make sure you make it palatable to him. Make it look like what he's used to. Give him sugar-free ice cream and candy if you have to. Get him outside to play. Get him a puppy to play with. No video games and keep the TV out of his reach.

You have to be firm with him and carry through with any punishments you may deal out to him, but do not be too firm. Considering his upbringing and behavior, he could be just a spoiled child or he could have developed ADHD, which will make things harder, but you definitely need professional opinion above all else.

Answer 5

Your son needs you to be strong for him and he needs you to build structure into his life. Teach by example and be generous with your affection. You are the boss, you know what is best for your son, you only have his best interests at heart. When he realizes this he will be more willing to follow your rules and brush his teeth and eat balanced meals.
Until then, the Irish have a saying, "Hunger is a mighty sauce". It is amazing how good a salad tastes when you haven't eaten in 12 hours.

Answer 6

That's a tough situation. He's so used to eating that stuff, so it's going to be hard to get him on track.

I would suggest getting a doctor for him. They can help him out with his diet.

Second, don't buy or make any of that stuff he's so used to eating. Don't get me wrong, treats are fine. But for treats only. not a daily/all day kind. and since he's already that overweight, it would be best to cut back big time on treats.

feed him healthy food. if he doesn't eat for a day or so, he won't starve. he WILL eat when he gets hungry. so many people have this problem. they cook something, but their kids don't want to eat it, so they end up making them what they want just to keep them from throwing a fit. your son won't starve, but when he gets hungry he will eat.

good luck. it's best you're trying to get this taken care of now. he's still a kid and it won't be as hard on him if he continues to gain more and more weight when he gets older.

Answer 7

Is his mom, by chance, Britney Spears? Jk... Hmm I haven't been in that situation, but my advice is to try and teach him healthy habits. It isn't too late to make changes in his life.

As for his weight, maybe you could take him on walks or to a playground and play with him there. And if you haven't already, try showing him how to brush his teeth? When he starts brushing them on his own, give him a reward so that he'll keep doing it.

I'm not a parent, but I do have two younger brothers. I hope you can help your son!

Answer 8

First of all congrats!!! Make brushing teeth fun... if his teeth are that bad I bet it hurts to brush them. Get him to a dentist, pediatrician, and possibly a nutritionist. A Dr. can help with some diet suggestions. Also get him involved with playing outside, a bike, ball, playground, etc. Good Luck and God bless

Answer 9

need some help take him to a doctor see will they put him on a special diet if he dont eat it dont worry if he sees thats all he is gettin he want have a choice.