Your reaction to boyfriend saying....?

Question

In a disagreement, he says:


You were selfish and didn't accept me as a part of your life. You treated me like I'm a stranger who doesn't have the right to tell you do that and don't do that. You just wanted to do what you wanted, even if that would be ok with me or not. You didn't tell me about things before you did them, only after. I won't say no, but I just want to feel like I'm your other half who you can share every thing and you can take my advice. I give you advice and not orders. When I say no for something, I explain why I say no and discuss that.

You say yes to things, but inside, you don't agree with that, which is a big problem. You lie to me, saying you agree, even though you don't. You treat me like a kid and only agree to make me be quiet.

I like to protect my girl and I have my way to do that. I don't ever accept anyone to say or do anything bad to you. I won' allow that.

I want the best for you and to keep you safe, but you don't respect me.

Answer 1

I'm not really sure what happened between the two of you, but judging simply from what you've written, here's what it sounds like:

You two have entirely different opnions on what types of roles you should play in one another's lives. To you, the fact that she doesn't ask for your advice in most situations, and the fact that she makes decisions without consulting you first means that she's leaving you out of her life, when she probably only sees it as being independent and maintaining her own identity. She might see her approach to disagreements as being nonconfrontational, while you feel like you're being lied to. It sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have an open and very honest discussion about the expectations you have for each other in your relationship. Come to some agreements that will make both of you more satisfied emotionally, because I get the feeling she's feeling frustrated too.

Once again, not knowing the full circumstance, this is based on a heck of a lot of assumptions.

But answering your actual question, I'd say most of what you wrote sounds good. However, cut back on the accusations. Cut some of the "you were selfish" and the "you treat me like a kid." Add some more "I feel" and "it seems like." This sounds less like arguing and more like explaining how you feel about the current situation.

Good luck. I hope things work out with you two. It sounds like you really do care about her.

Answer 2

Wow thats a mouthful.
Either one of two things is going on here:

Either he has a self esteem issue and feels nobody loves,cares or listens to him or -
or it is you that is wrong. Just maybe he is right about those things. Do you consider the relationship (or any relationship you have with a guy) to center around you and you only? I have had girlfriends like this in the past. Yeah, on one hand they were nice girls but on the other hand everything in the relationship had to center around her.
Really, without knowing the two of you i really cant say who is at fault.
The both of you need to step back and take a look at yourselves and realize that its not just about the one or other - you cant have a relationship without 2. Its very much a give and take thing.

Answer 3

my reaction is:

your boyfriend seems to think he has the right to "tell you to do that and don't do that"... umm is he a control freak? he hasn't a right to tell you what to do.

the only think i would think of which would be rotten for you to do is see or date other men? otherwise, you should be able to make your own choices about what you do, your friends and your life activities and interests.

sometimes people give "too much advice"... hey when you are doing something and someone approaches you and starts giving you all sorts of advice about how to do it, they either think you don't know how, or again have control issues!!! my ex boyfriend was constantly telling me how to do things... from washing the floor to tying my own shoes. finally i told him to shut UP and knock off the control freak act!!

Don't say YES when you mean NO... do you? that IS a big problem.

We dont have to agree with everyone all of the time, and when we are in a relationship, we find this to be true quite often. people compromise and work around issues. it's not that hard (for everyone except your boyfriend, i see).

wel, i would hope he wouldn't want any harm to come to you and would be protective.

he apparently thinks you don't respect him because you don't stop, give in to his controlling ways, and do it HIS way.

he would get on my NERVES

Answer 4

i could be venerated to have somebody say I acted like my mom... My mom raised me and took care of me for many a 12 months or perhaps throughout marriages, divorces, undesirable circumstances and strong... She is now exceeded directly to the finished beyond God relax her soul... i'm venerated to be something like her...

Answer 5

Have mercy! If a man said that to me, I'd hang onto him for the rest of both our lives.

Answer 6

id listen to him cuz it seems like u never do. i mean think about it, hes sayin dat u make choices for urself and never consult him about it, even tho hes supposed to b the one u share everything to, he supposed to b the other half of yourself. and u lie to him to say wat he wants to hear. hes sayin he loves u but cant b wit u if u keep treatin him like dis

id try to change, but if i no its nat gonna work out, id face it and move on.

Answer 7

Control freak jerk off. Don't look back.