How do I keep from messing up friendships because of my mental illness?

Question

I keep getting into fights with my best friend because of my mental illness and have become 100x more emotional in the past six months than I have been in my life. I keep taking it out on him and have delusions like that he is mad at me or that he is ignoring me and when I get mad at him, I know it upsets him because that wasn't the case. It was just me being uptight.

I keep screwing up over something and am having to apologize almost every week. He is so nice that he forgives me, but I know that I am not a very good friend if I keep having to do this. Should I tell him I am mentally ill and if so, how? I want him to know that I am not trying to be mean, just that I have emotional problems and am not good socially. I'm afraid it might hurt our friendship if I tell him though. Like he is hanging out with the "psycho" or "mentally ill" guy. What should I do?

Answer 1

It should not matter to him if he is a true friend (which it sounds like he is). It could possibly help for him to know that these bursts of anger or whatever are not intentional.

Just tell him what you're telling us now--how much his friendship means and that you feel guilty about how you treat him a lot. I have a cousin who has aspergers syndrome who can get under peoples' skin, but don't treat him any differently because I know he has a hard time controlling it.

The other thing is: he might already know--whether conciously or not--to some degree that you aren't very good socially. How could he not if he's so close to you? And look: he's accepted it. He's not about to turn his back on you now.

Answer 2

Hi Nick your friend sounds like a pretty nice guy. It might come as a surprise to you that most families have someone in their families have a mental illness. He might be a lot more accepting of you if he knew that you really have a problem and it is not just you being mean. I know I would. This is not something that should end a friendship if it does then he was never your friend in the first place.

I do hope you have sought out some medical solutions to your mental condition they can make a big difference in your life. Good luck

Answer 3

what is your mental illness? How long have you been friends? If your friend ship is going to survive then tell him. He sounds like hes a true friend already to go through what hes already did. This is something that is a huge influence in your life. I think you should set him down when you are not angry or had a bad day. Just get some prove and some information on it. Its eaiser that way. I might take him a minute to process this information. He probably just thought you were tempermental. This might actually be good for your friendship. You would be surprised by some people.. Be ready to answer questions because more and likely he will have a few. good luck.

Answer 4

If he is your good friend like you state - you should tell him and he should understand - and it will help him to understand what has gone on in the past - Are you taking medication? Ask your therapist why you keep getting into fights with your friend. Are you having problems with who he is as a person? Let him know that your thinking process sometimes goes through difficult periods - be honest with him so that he does not draw the wrong conclusions. you will be okay - and remember, mental illness or not - if you lose him as a friend it really was not meant to be.

Answer 5

First of all Im sorry youre going through this problem. Additionally I hope you are seeking help with it so that you can minimize its impact in your life. As for the question it really depends on the person. It sounds like he is mature enough and a good enough friend to be understanding and not go talking your business up to everyone so I think it may be ok. It is always a risk to trust someone, but I think its ok. It may help him to know what the specific issue is and that you dont intend it.

Answer 6

He is a true friend to already be so understanding. You probably should tell him since you've become more emotional in the past six months and things may or may not get worse. If he is truly this forgiving already, he will probably continue to be so. And he may suprise you and be supportive as well.

Answer 7

1st! are you on meds.for your illness?You lash out at him because he allows you to.That's abuse.If he's your"Friend"you owe him an explanation&apology,don't ya think?If you sit down w/him and tell him your illness open&honestly that should fix a big problem,as to what you wrote.I'll be 60 this year and have lived w/mental illness since I was 15 and you name the med.and I've probably taken it.A year and a half ago I was able to finally crawl out of that"black hole"Pills are just a bandaid,therphy of some kind is needed also!though it's tough to find on who"cares"Mine happened to be a Pastor.I have a chemical imbalance,but have come out of this w/a new outlook! Mine is now Humor&the right choices.I also found God again after doing things my way from 1963-2006.

Answer 8

You never state what mental illness you have but I am sure that by now he notices that there is something wrong with you and probably would not be surprised to find out that you have a mental illness. It would probably be to your and his best benefit to tell him that you do have one, if in fact you have been properly diagnosed. From the sounds of it you should be seeing a psychiatrist because it is interfering with your life and relationships.

Answer 9

If he's a true friend, and it sounds like he is because he always forgives you, then tell him the truth. It may help him to understand better why you may have fights with him so frequently.

Answer 10

If you have a mental illness, it's not your fault your acting this way. Theres really no way to fight it off completely. But if he really is a good friend to you, just come out and tell him. Blurt it out mid-sentence if you have to. Hes not going to stop being your friend because youre "mentally ill". It'd be better for him to know. But it's really your decision.