If I am staying with my brother for 3 weeks is it fair for him to ask me to do the dishes while I am there?

Question

Hello I am 20 years old and visitng my brother and his girlfriend in New York for three weeks. He let me visit 9 months ago also. He wants me to do all the dishes while I am there and clean up his puppies potty when he is not home as his puppy has a habit of eating her potty. I feel like cinderella. Is it fair for him to ask me to wash dishes while I am there. Plus am I supposed to help my mom out with the chores if I live at home? My brother says that I should help out my mom and help her with the cleaning and dishes and cleaning my room. I'd love any opinions from any 20 year olds.

Answer 1

DO THE DISHES!!! While you're at it, man up, and clean the house, do the laundry, and buy some food. Your brother is not your mommy.

Answer 2

Okay, I just want to make sure that I understand this - you are 20 years old and are asking if you should be expected to do dishes when you stay with your brother for 3 weeks.

At 20 I was married, running a house, holding down a full-time job, doing laundry and cooking for my husband and myself.

I'm sure you are a capable person who could do a few dishes if you tried.

In short, it is not unreasonable for your brother to expect you to do a reasonable amount of work / chores while you are there, after all, you are an adult and hopefully a capable one who can do their share of work around the house.

You should also be doing your own laundry and maybe some household laundry too, helping with the cooking and cleaning, and offering to pay for some of the groceries.

You should also be doing your share at home too - if you and your mother are the only adults in the household, then you should be doing half the work - you are not a helpless child, you are an adult!

Imagine this, if you were a little older than you are now and you had a home of your own. Now imaging if your mother came to live with you ............ would it be reasonable for you to expect her to do a few dishes and help with the cooking and cleaning? Of course it would.

Good Luck

Answer 3

OK well I'm 21 years old and I live with my parents. my boyfriend is 21 and lives with his mom and bro and All 3 of us have chores to do. I know your probably thinking "your a girl your supposed to clean" and yeah I agree I do. But I can tell you that my boyfriend is 21and his bro is 17 and they both live with their single mother who works hard. They always have the house clean by the time she gets home. They don't pay rent so in a way its their way to give her a break and appreciate the work she does. They wash dishes, clothes, sweep, mop, clean the hallway restroom and garage and on top do all the yard work and fixing around the house.. they aren't the only people who help out. My lil bro 15yrs old washes dishes picks up our 3dogs poop and sometimes cooks dinner(he wants to be a chef) So yes I would say you got it easy if all you have to do is wash dishes. And as for staying at your brothers house it's a given that you should help out a bit if your staying there. Yes I understand your a guest but if your lazy and don't help out do you think he'd want you to stay there again?? All the guy friends I have help clean up when they come to visit my house. If we have barbeque's my guy friends help clean the backyard as in pick up chairs and putting the tables away. It's not cuz they have to they do it because they are being generous and helpful and because that's the way they were raised I guess. When i visit family I always help out in anyway I can. So I don't think washing dishes after 3 people and picking up some poop is that much to ask for. Honestly grow up and be mature your not a lil kid anymore and need to start picking up after yourself and helping out. Be a man!!!

Answer 4

If the persons you want to hear from are 20 - is that because you want them to tell you not to do what your brother asks? First, I think that you should VOLUNTEER to do SOME of the dishes - NOT ALL. When you stay with someone show your gratitude by helping - now the puppy situation is a little different - someone needs to find out why she eats her feces - that is not good or healthy for a dog. Why would you ask about helping your mother? Do you eat? Do you wear clean clothes? Do you sleep? Do you speak on the phone? Show a little love to the people in your life.

Answer 5

When you visit someone for a long time, you cannot expect them to wait on you hand and foot. Had you pitched in to cook a few meals and wash some dishes when you first visited your brother, your brother wouldn't have asked you to wash ALL the dishes this time. If you are visiting someone...anyone...for a weekend, that is one thing, but when you visit for a while you should DEFINATELY help out around the house.

Understand that I am not trying to be mean but you really are acting like a child. You are an ADULT living with your mother. Of COURSE you should help out around the house. And unless you are going to college full-time, you should pay rent to your mother, too.

Answer 6

Well, I'm 23 years old...If you're 20 years old...legally, your an adult. If you're living at your mom's house, not paying rent or any bills...then it's very fair for her to ask you to help out around the house with cleaning and such. The same goes for your brother. If you're staying with him for 3 weeks, not having to pay your own way...it's fair for him to ask you to help clean up as well...

Think about it this way....if you had your own place and a friend asks to come and stay for a month or so....they lay around the house...eat your food...do what they please, but never help you with the chores that need to be done, how would you feel? You're paying the bills, and they're just taking it easy. You're not a child anymore and they just want you to learn how things are in the real world. Nothing's free...and a chore here and there isn't going to kill you.

Answer 7

Holy cow - my sons better NOT be posting this question when they're 20!!

Like someone else said, man up. Rent isn't cheap, it's annoying to have someone be a drain and you probably don't want the reputation of being a sloth. Not real attractive.

Show your consideration for your brother - and along with doing the dishes and picking up a little pooh, why not cook a meal or two, and leave them a nice thank you note with movie tickets (or something) when you go. I'm guessing your mom raised you and your brother - so why is it your brother feels he has to ask you to help out with simple stuff...and you're kvetching about it?

And as the mom of 3, when my kids are over 18...they are either full time students (with part time jobs to cover their spending money) or they are full time employees who will be paying rent and helping around the house. My job is to make them independent and, as I'm sure you don't want your mom treating you like you're 5, don't act like it.

You'll be surprised at the amount of respect you can garner if you ACT LIKE AN ADULT. No one's asking you to do anything roommates wouldn't expect...except you're expecting people to pay your way and put up with your juvenile ways. Dude - do yourself a favor and just suck it up. It's good practice for the "real world".

Answer 8

So, for 3 weeks you want him to feed you, cart you around, give you a place to sleep and you are to do nothing in return. Doing the dishes once a day for three people (and probably with a dish washer) is really no big chore. Nor is spending 30 seconds picking up puppy poop.

The alternative, since you are an adult, is to rent a hotel room and stay there.

Answer 9

i'm 21 and yes, you should help.. it's the nice thing to do.. how can you expect to go there and not clean up after yourself?? i know you mean he wants you to do his dishes too, but hey, he's giving you a free place to stay.. i'd be grateful.. and it's not like he's asking you to clean up the puppy's mess ALL the time.. just when he's not home.. and for good reason too! come on.. this question is common sense! yeah, you should help your mom too!

put yourself in your brother's shoes.. wouldn't you expect him to pull his own weight if he came to visit you?? does he help your mom when he goes and visits her?? think about that..

have a great trip!

Answer 10

Yes it is proper when visiting any one home for amount of time. whether its your brother aunt friends etc... Normally to you vacume do some laundry when your clothes are dirty can help taking turn preparing meals for one another so they aren't waiting on you hand in foot.

Better than them asking you to pay rent for 3 weeks isn't it. And dont' forget you will be eating from the refrigerator and money doesn't grow on trees so someone has to feed you while your there for 3 weeks.

I would probably pitch in and do more than your brother is asking your getting off lucky.

Answer 11

I'd tell your brother to eat puppy potty. It's his dog, he deals with it. As far as the dishes, if you are eating there, be a good guest and pitch in. However it sounds like brother is a control freak. I never ask anything of my house guests, am just glad they are there. Their behavior will dictate wether they are eagerly invited again.