My dad said that receptions should be planned for what the guests want. He went to a wedding a few years ago and they didn't serve alcohol, and he got angry because he thinks that the reception should be planned around what the guests want. Is this right? I thought this was the bride's day?
2007-08-17 14:56:43 · 8 answers · asked by cloulve 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
P.S. I'm not getting married, just wondering.
2007-08-17 14:57:11 · update #1
I completely agree with the first answerer's philosophy that a reception is a party, but I feel that means the host should choose what is or is not offered. If you go to someone's house for dinner, you eat what is served or don't complain about it, for example, because it was offered to you by the host. While the host will often find out what the guests prefer, it is not up to the guests to determine what will be offered. A wedding reception is the same way. The old saying says, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." If a guest doesn't like the reception, he/she can always choose not to attend.
By the way, as far as not serving alcohol, the hosts may very well have had some of the guests in mind. For some people, it is best not to have alcohol around. The fact that your father apparently looks at the reception as an opportunity to get drunk somewhat concerns me.
2007-08-17 18:35:01 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the reception is not for the guests, but the guests must be considered when planning a reception. If the bride and groom are vegetarians, the planners need to realize that many of the guest are not. If I went to a weddind and was served only a salad bar (with no bacon bits or diced ham) I would be somewhat offended. Alcohol is different though. First of all, the bill can skyrocket quickly and second, people are opposed to drinking. Actually the list goes on from having to worry about people acting out and folks driving impaired after leaving.
If it is just what the guests want, the entree choice would not be chicken or salmon, it would be filet mignon or lobster. Once again the reception is for the bride and groom, but the guests must be considered in the planning.
2007-08-18 02:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by Gregory G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When planning a reception or other major event where refreshments will be served, a host should take into consideration the NEEDS of the guests. If there are several guests who are known to be vegeterian, a host or hostess would be remiss in not having a vegeterian option available for a meal. However, alcohol is not a need, it's a want, and there are several reasons why a host or hostess at an event might choose not to serve alcohol. It does not make them a bad host or hostess because of this decision. Actually, alcohol was not even allowed at our reception, as we had it in the reception hall attached to the church. I see nothing wrong with this, although I have been to and enjoyed receptions where alcohol was served.
2007-08-20 16:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think it should be planned for the guests, but the wishes of the bride and groom should be considered. If the family doesn't approve of alcohol consumption then by all rights, they should have it that way. I think the whole thing should be planned the way the hosts (hosts being the bride and groom) want it and the guests should be notified of how it's going to be. That way they can either come to the reception and enjoy it for what it is: A happy occasion for 2 people in love....or: they can go to a bar after the wedding and drink to their hearts content. I think the family should do this collectively as they wish....The reception should be a collective effort and everyone hosting should approve and agree with.
I've been to weddings...too many people get drunk and make idiots of themselves. I'm sure they're not meeting any of the singles at that wedding....lol.
2007-08-17 22:10:57 · answer #4 · answered by ndn_ronhoward 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A wedding is a party--often a very expensive one--and therefore it is a social event to which guests are invited. All the rules of hospitality apply. This means that guests come first, before hostess.
The bride is special, but the parents of the bride, traditionally, are the host and hostess, and they must observe the rules of hospitality.
This means that the guests at a wedding must be treated as graciously as guests invited to any other private party.
But the host and hostess have complete control over what is or is not served.
A guest becoming angry over the lack of alcohol is engaged in an obnoxious breach of manners.
So yes, the guests must be treated graciously, but this does not mean one must give them whatever they want, and this certainly does not mean that a guest has a right to voice anger over their choice.
2007-08-17 22:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by Raven 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guests should be considered when planning your reception. If you have a vegetariam, you would serve an appropriate dish. If the groom's family is against alchohol, then you wouldn't serve it (regardless of what the guests want - just see if there is a bar that can be set up outside of the reception area).
2007-08-17 22:18:21 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The reception is a social occasion, so you do need to consider your guests' comfort, of course. But I never did like people who get all bent out of shape because there's no booze.
People don't serve alcohol for all sorts of reasons, but as long as the rest of the reception is fun, generous and creative and yummy, who cares?
2007-08-17 23:32:49 · answer #7 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel a wedding is to celebrate the event of marriage and the joining of two souls. If those two souls don't want or cant afford an open bar well there won't be one.
I went to a wedding a couple of years ago that had an open bar with all top shelf. But the everyone was at the bar and to me it took away from the reason everyone was there.
2007-08-21 15:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by My Three 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋