How do you go about punishing a extremely suicidal teen?

Question

She hasnt cleaned her room in a month. If she wasn't on the verge of killing herself Id've already dealt with it. How do I approach punishing her?

Answer 1

48 hour lock down in a psych ward.

Answer 2

Is she actually suicidal, or using the threat to control you?
If she's using it to control you, it seems to be working.
Get her to a therapist, and make her clean her room. The two issues are not related, really.
Give her a deadline to get her room in an acceptable state, and if she doesn 't accomplish it, put all of her things in bins and put them somewhere else.
Making her clean her room is not likelyto push her over the edge that she seems to have been "teetering on" for a month now.

Answer 3

Get her to a shrink and under suicide watch. While she's there, clean it out yourself.

One of the symptoms of clinical depression is an extreme lack of energy and motivation. She can't work up the energy to do anything about the condition of her room, but it's probably making her feel worse, especially since she knows it bugs you.

Please don't take chances with your daughter's life. Get her professional help immediately. A clean room is easy to fix, but a dead daughter is another matter entirely.

Answer 4

I agree with the lock down part. Im only 21 but I've had friends attempt to kill themselves and some who were successful. I can actually say some of the best punishment is make her sleep on the floor in your bedroom, make her a pallet and tell her that until she cleans her room shes sleeping on your floor and that way you can also keep an eye on her.

Answer 5

Punish? How about help her? I think you should sit down with her and talk to her and ask her why she wants to kill herself. Also ask her why she hasn't cleaned her room. Why don't you clean her room for her? But if was me, cleaning her room would be the last thing on my mind.

Answer 6

I don't think you need to punish an extremely suicidal teen, but I do think you need to talk to her about what's going on in her head and in her life. Ask her gently, though.

Just show up in her distance and say "Hey, what's going on? Did something happen recently to make you angry?" If she starts avoiding you, just say "If so, I'd be as angry as you, if I were in your shoes and had had the same thing that had happened to you happen to me." If her response has something to do with her being angry with you, just say "Wow, I had acted like that? Well, I'm sorry. If I had been in your shoes and I had seen myself acting like that, I'd be just as upset at myself as you are at me right now, too," and go from there.

p.s. It's okay to let your kid be angry at you, or sad about things, sometimes, but just let her know that there are appropriate ways of expressing her anger and inappropriate ways of expressing her anger at the world, when things aren't going her way and see how she takes them.

Remember: she is not perfect and neither are you, just like everybody else on the face of the earth. So, don't beat yourself up, if she doesn't always follow the conformity of societal pressures. She is doing the best that she can in the world and so are you. That's all.

Answer 7

to some girls/teens/some people in general get stressed out when they have a dirty room. the next day she's at home without any plans going out with friends or whatever, a great motivator to get a room clean is to grab a garbage bag, offer it to her, and say "hey, how about you put all of the clothes you don't want in here and i'll drop them off at goodwill when you're done" when it comes to messy rooms, clothes can be EVERYWHERE and simply getting rid of the clothes you don't wear, want, or don't fit anymore gets rid of tons of clutter.

okay so maybe i'm not a parent who gives a parent's point of view, but whenever i do that once in awhile, i get a chance to straighten up my dresser and closet, making more room to do whatever else i want to do with my room in the process. also, a hospital might sound like a good idea to some people, but it can also do horrible things to kids. therapy or counseling might help alot more so they dont get stressd from being away from home

so if you still would like to punish her.... i'm guessing she has a few cd's right? what's better than doing ANYTHING with music blarring in the backround honestly? and i know how some parents are all like "well so-and-so gave you these so why throw it away!?!" honestly, a cluttered room shouldn't be expected to have ANYTHING she doesn't have use for (not saying you're to judge what's important in her room for her, no offense, but for alot of teens, that sweater that grandma got her for the holidays is taking up too much room for the things that she'll actually wear, if that makes sense. support what she wants to keep and try not to blow up when she wants to throw something away- if its something valuable, put it in a box in a basement if YOU want to keep it. her room needs to be kept vauable to her and not suited for your needs, even though keeping it clean is definitly not asking much)

also, when it comes to suicidal feelings, its easy to be down when a parent yells and is unreasonable, so when its obvious you want to be careful as not to send her to her death bed, its most likely not you who's causing her so much emotional pain, so if you be understanding with whatever she tells you, your relationship might get better too.... but that's just what i'm thinking

Answer 8

You need a family therapist. This is a hard problem for a parent. You need a doctor. Insurance usually covers it, and if it doesn't, a lot of states offer assistance.

Punishment will just make her more depressed. Have you tried rewards? Something to look forward to? A messy room probably isn't your biggest problem right now.

Answer 9

Ask her if you could help her to clean her room.

If she is suicidal, she is depressed and her room clutter is of no importance to her. However, in my experience with depressed people, any help offered to assist is helpful. Don't take over. Ask her what you can help do.

What are you punishing her for? Sit down with her and explain why you are punishing her and what restrictions you are placing and why they may help. She's not an idiot. She is depressed.

Answer 10

Well, if you are serious about her suicidal behavior, then she must have a problem which is causing her to not want to clean her room.

Once you have dealt with the root problem, then everything else will fall into place.

Find out whats up with her, spend time with her and make sure she is happy inside. Suggest counseling. If its depression, there may be something you can do to help.

Teens go through stages and you have to understand d them, they are trying to find themselves usually. Hopefully she will grow out of it.

Answer 11

Punish is a very bad word. I don't like that word. Discipline is a much better word. But even that is not likely to get her to clean her room. When my kids don't clean their rooms i shut the door but I eventually have to go in because my kids are young and I have to put them to bed. I would encourage her to want to keep her space clean and neat so that the energy will flow more freely through the room and she will be more relaxed and comfortable but if she doesn't then close the door!!!! And let her be the one who is frantic because she can't find something. That usually leads to cleaning and organizing. Good luck!!!