Me and this guy have been talking on the phone and computer since April and we've become quite fond of each other. We haven't met each other although we live only 15 minutes apart. It seems like all i do is think of him ---even when i lay down and try to sleep ..it's so intense i can't sleep sometimes. I want to meet him , but i'm so self concious about my weight, looks. He says it doesn't matter but it matters to me! He is a good guy , we made a date and i stood him up ..not intentionally , only because the person i was supposed to go with cancelled at the last minute. Even after all that he still talks to me and wants to meet me. What should i do? Serious answers please ! Thanks in advance. Just to let you all know i'm a 31 year old woman, just in case you think i'm a teenager LOL ! Again thanks for your answers.
2007-08-17 13:23:56 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I showed him a full body picture LOL so i don't think weight has anything to do with his interest LOL!
2007-08-17 13:35:00 · update #1
I think that you should not set another date quite yet-
I am interested in how the subject of your looks came up, and what was discussed. Did you apologize for yourself and say you weren't very pretty? Why? Why is it that your authentic and beautiful self is not good enough? How can you decide for him that you do not meet his standards of beauty?
Take some time to really find your gorgeous self. Is there something that you could do to improve your own perception? Not what you think someone else would like, but something that you yourself would like. For example, perhaps you need a fresh hairstyle? Or a fabulous little black dress? Find the qualities in yourself that you love, and play them up! Treat yourself! You deserve it!!
You have great conversations, and you obviously have a lot to talk about. You like him so much that it is taking over your sleep! He likes you so much that even after you stood him up he's still on board! Trust him to make his own decisions, and trust yourself that your personality and character are strong enough to "fix" your perceived "flaws"...
And do keep the friend as a wing-man. Meeting people from on-line can be risky. Stay safe!
Have fun!!
2007-08-17 13:35:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself,and him out of misery and go meet him. A public place though as im sure you would know anyway...but all this time you're spending worrying, you could be missing out on great times spent with him. If you's meet and dont click its better to know now then waste time and then find out down the road. Especially as you are only 15mins away from him,you most likely may have even passed each other somewhere already. Go meet him..dont miss out on something because of fear or worry..and please let me know how it goes,id love to hear. Good luck and have fun.
2007-08-17 20:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Shelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's normal. You obviosuly have feelings for this guy and you are a little aprehensive about his reaction, which is normal. I think you shoud meet him in person and see where it takes you. Forget about physical appearance. If he likes you for you he will overlook that, but before he does you must learn to put it aside. I believe that you guys have been talking for a while now and it is evident you are both fond of each other. Give yourself the chance and let him do the judging. He might surprise you. Good luck !
2007-08-17 20:49:50 · answer #3 · answered by shygal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to quit hiding behind the computer; try to be more confident. Scan a picture of you to him, this will make it less akward for you when you do meet him face to face. He's obviously interested in YOU, not your looks. If looks were important to him, he'd be out 'looking' for a relationship so he'd see what he's getting first. Looks are important, don't get me wrong, but if you have good heigene and are the person he as grown to like, you have nothing to worry about. Everything else will fall into place when you 'meet' him.
2007-08-17 20:32:06 · answer #4 · answered by ~Josie~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not enjoy yourself and not worry about your weight? You might miss out on a very good friendship. Worrying makes people miss out on many good things.
Just think of him as friends and nothing else for now. It is different when you talk and write, but not meet someone. You get to sort of "fantasizing" what it would be like to meet someone. You may be disappointed in what you see. . . No, it is probably the same way with him. He probably really doesn't care what you are worried about.
Give yourself a good chance to meet someone who could be the best friend in your life.
Don't miss out on life when you could be living it.
2007-08-17 20:29:23 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is he???Well i think that now you're really in the position to meet in person..otherwise you will always get into the illusion thing.But you shouldn't go alone, and also if he seems so interested just go for it...but be care full, because only after a long time you really get to know someone!Be happy!
2007-08-17 20:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by Rute A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the nervous and insecure way you wrote the first part, you kinda do sound like a teenager. :) I say meet him. The worst that happens is it doesn't work out, which would be better than always wondering what could have been. Good luck!
2007-08-17 20:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by Ahni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are content living in the fantasy continue with the online/phone conversations and never lie and agree to meet him again. If you want to see if there's a real connection, take the chance, go meet him so you aren't trapped in some unhealthy sense of reality. What's the worse that happens? He doesn't like you, not everyone that we encounter in life is going to like us. That's part of life? Have fun with it.
2007-08-17 20:30:26 · answer #8 · answered by That NC Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him a picture of yourself. Then he will decide if he wants to get together with you. If no, write him off. If yes, get together with him.
PS I like the idea that you are going with someone else to meet him.
Spend as much time exercising as you spend on the computer and I bet you Will be gorgeous in a year.
2007-08-17 20:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One you should of never have stood up the poor guy. But that he still wants to talk to you and see you says hes a nice guy. Make another date and dont go with anyone. just go together. your 31 not 13. be a big girl and go on a date by yourself that way you dont have your friends to hide you.
2007-08-17 20:29:25 · answer #10 · answered by Ashlee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋