I have a friend that has a small baby. I used to babysit for her with the baby was an infant. I agreed, but she took advantage of my time several times. Whenever I babysit, she is almost ALWAYS two hours late.....always late even when I ask her not to be. I have a life of my own. I really don't want to babysit anymore, because she can't seem to keep herself from taking advantage of me. I've also realized that I'm WAY out of the baby stage......and I like the stage I'm in (I've raised my kids already). I don't want to raise another child. I think she would have her child at my house all the time if I'd let her.
Any suggestions?
2007-08-17 09:50:24 · 9 answers · asked by Me 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
No one takes advantage of you without your help. She knows you aren't going to do anything but be uncomfortable. Until you DO something, she will not fix this.
Some people will take advantage if they can. Some people won't even if it is easy. She is a taker. You are a giver.
She is NOT your friend. She is using you.
You need to stop baby-sitting for her or learn how to set boundaries, right now.
Are you getting paid? If so, charge her $5 extra for every 10 minutes she is late. start ASAP. Charge her $10 if she doesn't call to say she will be late.
If you are not getting paid (shame on you) tell her today that you are quitting the baby-sitting for free business. Tell her you realize YOU have been acting like your time is on the sale table, and it is not. YOU have other things you must do before you kick the bucket besides raise her child. (give no reason.)
If you must sit, here is the boundary. Next time you baby-sit say this:
Hi Susie. I enjoy your baby and you. I have to set some limits on our arrangements because I am not getting my stuff done, waiting for you. I feel like you are taking advantage of our friendship and I don't like it.
I will be glad to baby-sit for you, for a fee, and if you are not here at the scheduled time, you need to give me the name of someone else I can deliver this child to. If no one is available, what will YOU DO? I have to leave at 2:00 and Mary has to go somewhere else.(give no reason, or details.)
I hope you come visit some times, but I am not going to be available for baby-sitting in the future. (give no reason.)
Don't allow someone to take your time. It is the only thing that is all yours. Use it for what YOU want.
Tick, tick, tick...
2007-08-17 10:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
basically you will have to lay down the law and tell her she will have to hire a sitter from now on cause she is has just been late too many times. she will probably ask for another chance and she may even try to guilt you. make sure to point out how you want to be apart of this child's life but you don't want them to start calling you mom/dad.
or you could charge her an insane amount of money the next time she wants you to sit along with a fee if she is late.
good luck
2007-08-17 10:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by a l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is using you. Tell her you don't want to babysit for her anymore. My ex-husband had friends with 3 kids under 5 that they shoved off on me all the time and I flat out told them NO MORE. They got mad, but their kids were not my responsibility. They would do it on the spur of the moment, come back late, and hardly ever compensated me for it. Tell this friend of yours to take the child to daycare or find another babysitter.
2007-08-17 09:58:04 · answer #3 · answered by Kate J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time she calls, just tell her that you've decided to get out of the babysitting business. Just say flat out no, she'll have to find someone else. If she insists, point out that many times that you've babysat, she is considerably later than planned and you don't appreciate it. You've told her this, yet she continued to be late.
2007-08-17 12:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy. If this women is your friend you should be able to talk about the situation maturely If the she still takes advantage of your time, you will have to tell her to find a new babysitter.
2007-08-17 09:57:08 · answer #5 · answered by D's Mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her. Maybe she needs someone to tell her upfront that she is being selfish. Some people just don't realize it. Tell her that when you are late that you have to put off doing things for yourself and your family. I hate it when people don't keep their word. I have a nanny job that I am about to quit because they have been flaking out on paying me. When you have someone watching your kids you need to pay them on time and be on time to pick them up.You are doing her a favor because you are saving her money from having to pay for a day care center.
2007-08-17 09:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Make yourself unavailable and if she asks why you can't just tell her that things have been super busy!! Be sweet and upbeat about it- and remember something I've learned; you don't owe anyone an explanation. If you don't want to, then you don't have to. End of story. If this hurts your so called friendship then it certainly wasn't meant to be. She doesn't sound like she cares much about you anyways. This is her problem, not yours. Don't make it your problem!!
Good luck!
2007-08-17 09:55:54 · answer #7 · answered by schmidtee 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you are unable to do it anymore..I just had the same situation. I was babysitting my godson..but he was horrible,and they never paid me...and like you..they would have left him here all the time if they could. So I told them I couldn't handle both him and my daughter.
2007-08-17 09:59:12 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you tell her the truth shell understand and will stop asking you to babysit. where if you just seem busy all the time she might take offense and keep asking you to babysit
2007-08-17 10:06:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋