Need some advice on depression?

Question

Just looking for a few more opinions. How does depression affect a relationship? Do you find it difficult to communicate with the people in your life that you love the most, and find yourself cutting them out of your life? More specifically, have you had to end a relationship because of it, but couldn't bring yourself to communicate any further with that person even if they were offering support and help?? I've found myself in this situation, and don't know what to do to help him. I'm trying to be a friend to him, but he's not very responsive to me and I don't know if I should leave him be or keep offering support and letting him know I am there so he knows that I haven't abandoned him. I'm just having a hard time trying to figure out his unresponsiveness. He doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. I don't want to give up on him, because my heart and my gut are telling me that he will come around, but it's just starting to feel hopeless because it's been so long now

I'm trying to be patient. We were going out for about 3 months when he told me it wouldn't work out for now because he had to fix things in his life so he could be happy. This all happened about 6 months ago. Still has not given a definite answer on the relationship, he just doesn't know what will happen. I've been offering support as a friend, and every once in a while I write an email to see how he's doing and to let him know I am there. Some he responds to, some he doesn't. He did respond to me last week, a few days after I had sent him an email encouraging him to get help. He said things have been painful and agonizing, and that the help he is getting isn't enough because his mind is still really uncomfortable. He plays in a band, and said that's all he really needs but everything else in his life still seems to be a disaster. I'm just looking for any input on his situation and what, if anything, I should do.

Answer 1

I've learned not to be involved with people who have depression. Sometimes the problem goes beyond your control. Trying to fix it can only lead to more frustration.

Answer 2

Depression affects every part of your life including relationships. The symptoms are all over the place some people become distant others very needy and others become angry. This is something that does not just go away one day. He needs professional help and probably some meds while he's learning to deal with the causes of the depression. The meds nor the counseling has to be forever. My advice to you is to go ahead and walk away. It sounds like he hasn't yet decided to work this out and you're on the sidelines anyway.

Answer 3

I have no advice for you, but for your guy, I have this to say:

Suck it up and live your life. Life is not being happy all the time. Life is quiet desperation punctuated by brutal horror, agony and dispair - and occassional happiness - and it's mercifully brief. You only have to live for 60 or 80 years or so, so just struggle through it as best you can. Don't bother trying to be happy, just do the right thing and happiness will come around now and then.