My boyfriend broke up with me last week but we decided to remain friends. During this break-up we would still talk every night almost as if we we're still dating. Since we still talked like we were still together it felt like we were still together or maybe on a break instead of actually being broken up. Our break/break-up last only week. The other day he told me that he wanted to get back together with me and I agreed. Now he told me that he had sex with someone else while we we're on our break/break-up. I know I technically cannot be mad at him because we weren't together, but what do you think about this situation? What should I do?
2007-08-17 08:47:00 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Get rid of him. If he cannot respect you enough to try to heal after a break-up with you, he will not respect you enough to keep good morals when he is away from you, if you let him back in. One week and he's moved on? Sounds to me like he is playing you and that's unacceptable. You deserve better. Much, much better.
2007-08-17 08:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Semi-Evil 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You need to try and get past this. He hasn't done anything wrong and since you have officially been dating he has been patient and shows he respects you and has shown that he obviously respects and understands what having sex will mean to you. I can understand you might feel upset but heasn't betrayed you, for all he knew you might not have ended up dating, but he has been honest with you - he didn't have to tell you as you weren't together so you should trust him and move on. You're choice to remain a virgin is your choice, as it is his choice not to, it doesn't mean he is not a good person but if you are so consumed by his past and cannot get over it you cannot build a future. Tall to him of you want - I'm sure you will get reassurance, tell him how you feel but you need reassurance from him that he can take the matter as seriuoisly as you do and once you get it, move on. Imagine meeting a guy who you knew years ago, and you developed a relaionship, would you be so anxious about the fact he may have had relations before you got together? Would you feel betrayed then? He wasn't to know what would happen in the future, you have to accept people for who they are and if you can't you have to consider whether or not they are right for you. On the positive side, having sex for the first time can be nerve wracking and full of unsurities. At least your guy, in yoi decide to lose your virginity with him will be able to offer you security and reassurance and guidance, he can help you taking this big step and take away some of the worries about whether or not the pair of you are getting it right, he will also be aware of safe sex so that's also a bonus. Try to forget about this occasion you're talking about, he is with you now and is showing he is a decent guy. Let your relationship grow and don't get hung up on the past, learn to trust him and decide if you feel he is the one. If not, and you feel this is too fundamental a difference to get past then you need to maybe move on to someone different. We all have pasts, it's who we are now and what we do now that matters. Good luck.
2016-04-01 20:34:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he broke up with you and then decided to be friends seems like he just wanted to sleep with someone else without cheating on you since you were on a break. The good thing is that he told you. It's up to you if you want to remain in a relationship with him. Do you still trust him? That's what important.
2007-08-17 09:02:00 · answer #3 · answered by The Misses 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good that he told you about what happened instead of keeping it from you.
If it's going to continue to bother you then you might end up with trust issues, but if you are able to move past it i dont see why you can't stay with the guy.
It seems you are being very mature and responsible in recognizing when you need to take a break but it's usually not healthy to be in an off and on again relationship.
2007-08-17 08:52:49 · answer #4 · answered by Glitter Berry 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
this kinda happened to me but not even close to what happend to you but i would be soooo mad i think if he wanted to have sex with someone else while you were broken up with him why would he not want to do it while your together that seriouly u wont forget your gonna be thinking about it all the time if you give him a chance ur constantly gonna be doubting his love i dont think you should give him a chance yes he was honest about it but so what he still did it and think about it would you really live it knowing he slept with someone else and what makes you think he wont do it again be smart even if its a break he shouldint have done it well hope this helps. i didnt know my boyfriend had kissed a girl and who knows what else they did but i didnt find out till later but to this day it still bothers me i dont think ill get over it.
2007-08-17 09:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him keep having sex with who ever he pleases, You just don't have sex with him, ever hear of STDS. Keep him at arms distance, if you still care about each other there is same thing called being honest with each other. What was the reason for the break? Is he getting tired of you, or did he just want to have sex with someone new. Are you having sex with him? There is alot of things you two are not talking about .
2007-08-17 09:08:15 · answer #6 · answered by dragonwho 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have the right to be upset. If a man is in a relationship he doesn't go out and have sex with another women after just a few days. If he were committed to you he would not have moved on so quickly. I think you should think long and hard about giving yourself to a guy who has not shown you the respect and attention you deserve.
2007-08-17 08:54:06 · answer #7 · answered by mopjky 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
im in the same situation. what im trying to do right now is find myself and improve myself before i worry about anyone else. i know youve heard the phrase, "i can do bad all by myself." let him know that. also let him know that a 'break' isnt actually a 'break up'. it just meant you needed time to reevaluate the relationship and where it was going. it didnt mean go out and do it with somebody!!
2007-08-17 08:55:47 · answer #8 · answered by missmaya417 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Go to your nearest health clicnic and both get tested. Do not trust anyone with your sexual health.
Why did he bother breaking up with you...to sample somebody else????
I'm sorry but if you get back with him your making it tooo easy, make him wait to go get checked and tell him IF you feel you can get over it then you will let him know, don't just jump to it.
Be smart don't let him use you as the back-up girl.
2007-08-17 09:08:48 · answer #9 · answered by ~ ♥ ~ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't know if u ever watched that episode of 'Friends' but Ross and Rachel still fought about that nonsense til the end. i had the same problem, i was on an offical "break" and interacted with some ex-es. i didn't sleep with anybody, but he did flip out when i told him. i personally don't see the issue: IT WAS A BREAK.
2007-08-17 08:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by Angelface 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋