What do you do when someone speaking to you assumes your beliefs are the same as theirs?

Question

For instance, my fiance's mother is always explaining how the "devil" causes bad things to happen and talks about God's will and stuff; she constantly relates these types of things to regular topics such as things going on in our family, or in the news today. I usually just nod and smile. But I'm starting to get tired of it. I don't believe that there is "the devil" is up there rubbing his hands together with a scheming look on his face thinking up ways to cause us grief. So how can I react when she makes such comments, without offending her? Its as if she assumes I will agree with her. So if I object, I have a feeling she will be rather surprised.

Answer 1

Definately don't say anything, unless you just WANT trouble. Just keep ranting about it on Y!A. But I'd leave it alone, unless she is ugly to you about it somehow, or you will have loads more problems than you would otherwise.

Answer 2

Today people who go to church and believe that Jesus is the Savior say that they are Christian, but that is as far as some go in living life as followers of the Lord Jesus Christ. In fact, many church goers exhibit the same morality that those in the world do. Just because they go to church and say that they believe in Jesus doesn't mean that they have come out of the world, and that they don't in fact adhere to the world's answers to life's questions. Because the church has taken on so much of the "feel" of the world it's hard to tell those who believe like you do from those who don't.

You didn't say what your beliefs are but if their son is going to marry a person who doesn't believe the doctrine of Jesus Christ then he isn't adhering to it either. The bible says not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. The reason that it may not matter whether or not they know what your beliefs are may be the same reason that it may not matter to them whether or not their son marries a person who isn't a Christian.

If you were to approach your fiancee's mother and tell her that you are not a Christian, if in fact you are not, that would let some light into the situation. If the ceiling caves in it would be better that it did so now rather than later.

You may end up being the one that leads the whole family to the Lord.

Answer 3

This is what I used to do. (I dont know what religion you actually are but I've found it works better to pick a religion that is seen as "odd" like asatru--sorry Loka)

Then every time something comes up in her life, just say yeah Thor or Freyr must be looking out for me. Or to a comment on the devil rubbing his hands together, just say Yep Loki is out and about again this week. Or to "it's God's will" I just reply with "Let Zeus' will be done." The more unique the better.

You can use wiccan too. Each time someone says "it's gods will" just reply "yes so mote it be"

What I have found is if you use a religion that people don't know much about, they merely nod and run away. It tends to be something they don't want to discuss with you and they will stop mentioning christian beliefs.

Honestly she probably just doesn't know. The majority of people in the US are christian so she does assume you agree with her. Ask your soon to be husband though--for he might not want to explain his religious beliefs to his mother. Make sure he is ok with whatever you decide to do.

Answer 4

I know your marrying your man and not his family but you may want to evaluate wether or not you really want to be related to these people. These types of comments tend not to stop even if you do raise your objections to them. Also, if your beliefs are not close to theirs you can expect them to "work on you" (for lack of a better term) everytime you are around them.

You might want to talk to your man about it first to get a little insight but from my dealings with these types of Christians you won't be able to raise your objections with offending them. It could even go so far as they will make life difficult for your man because they may decide to not support the marriage.

I'm sorry to be a downer about this but I've seen these types of differences cause such things as divorce and Jerry Springer Show appearences. It won't be pretty.

Answer 5

you could get a t shirt that says the devil made me do it and wear it to her house, I am kidding. Unfortunately smiling and nodding is the best thing to do, grit your teeth and get through it and make a lot of other plans with your fiance and limit the visits to three times a year. That's what I have done in the past and it worked for me, tolerance isn't always easy, but it is rewarding.
Blessings

Answer 6

If you want to keep peace, keep nodding and smiling. If you want a fight, you can clearly spell out your beliefs (or non-beliefs) to her. If she bothers you enough and you care, you might try asking her questions about her beliefs without stating any of your own, like, how can the devil be so powerful, what exactly can he do, why doesn't God protect us from him, etc. It may not work, or maybe if you ask enough questions, she might either get tired of explaining herself, or even start thinking.

Answer 7

If she is talking that way without feeling out your beliefs, my guess is that she would be even more difficult to speak with after you openly disagreed or differed. If you can, maybe ignore it. If you can't ask you fiance the best way to approach her. He might know. Be careful, because she just might make you a project of hers and that will be relentless. I say this as a Christian whose mother is of this stripe.

Answer 8

First of all, many people imagine the devil to be something of a monsterish beast- looking all evil with horns- well this is not so- infact the Bible describes the devil as the Father of all lies and the "prince of the air" and also " a wolf in sheep's clothing" so the devil comes across as good--- that is why many people are deceived. So in the world today there are many things happening that are NOT of God-- things you would never put two and two together, because you would not think of it that way. Well those who are walking with the Lord, who study their bibles and pray and Trust in God-- God can give them spiritual discernment to know what is of Him and what is not of Him.
Maybe your future mother in law, words things in a way she should probably think twice about-- so that it does not come across so foolish- yet there is truth to what she is saying....and I can understand what she is saying....I often will say something about the enemy being in control of something-- such as making men lust-- with billboards of half naked women- or magazines or porn-- these are all things that cause men to stumble, or sin. So therefore this is NOT of God- so it is of the enemy, satan. And since sin entered the world- everything like this was bound to happen- and the Bible says that he is the prince of the air right now, which means he is deceiving many people who are not walking in the truth of God's word.
(even some christians who are not grounded in truth, can be deceived, and this is his main goal- to get as many people away from Jesus Christ as possible)
But in the end I know Christ has the victory and I pray and hope many will come to know Him as their personal Savior, and realize how serious sin is- and how we all need His forgiveness.
(I encourage you to read John 8 and Ephesians 2- which speaks to those who are now saved but once walked in the world and were full of sin)
Also Romans 10 says:
Romans 10:9
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
We have all sinned against God- even me! Even one sin will keep you out of heaven, for God cannot allow sin into heaven- that is why He made a way for us to be with Him, through Jesus Christ- through His sacrifice, we who believe are forgiven and born again through Him- cleansed and given a new life. We inherit Heaven when we die, and we are saved from sin and hell. Praise be to Jesus Christ, our wonderful Savior!

Answer 9

If it's a stranger, I let them keep talking. I don't go out of my way to start a debate.

If it's someone I'm closer to, I tell them during a natural part of the conversation.

The question is, how do you want to relate to your mother-in-law?

Answer 10

There may not be any way to not offend her if you object. However, that being said you may surprise yourself if you say something along the line of "I don't see it quite that way"

If you are tired of it, you need to speak up now before you speak up out of frustration and anger. If you wait, it will be harder to salvage the situation than if you do not.