My fiance likes to please himself. I have no prob with him doing this it's just the way he goes about it....he watches porn or looks at pictures while he masterbates. Every once in awhile our sex life would diminish (like 2-3 weeks or longer) and I would worry....still do....We have talked about this and he told me he would take all the porn off his computer (which he did) I Sit and wonder with us not having sex if he thinks I should look like the models that he is masterbating to. I have told him how i felt ...looking for reassurance...but I never get it....And he wonders why I keep asking the same questions over and over ...he just doesn't get it.....How do I make him get it???? And why does he have to hide the fact that he is pleasing himself? Not me I would tell if he asked...better yet I have told him in the middle of the day when I did masterbate....not really any kind of response....What to do what to do....Any suggestions?
2007-08-17 08:12:15 · 20 answers · asked by mended.ticker 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's most likely not comparing you to the other models. Guys like variety in their fantasies. This is probably an activity that he's been doing since he was 12 and it's hard to break old habits.
Why don't you see if there is someway that you can participate with him when he wants to do that? Maybe you could role play or something?
I wouldn't worry about it though. This is normal guy behavior.
2007-08-17 08:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by BAM 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, this one has me kinda bumfuzzled too. Sex is so important in a relationship!
Okay, I'll tell you what I would do; I would tell my guy just exactly what I was thinking, no sugar coating, or tiptoeing around it to keep him from getting upset. I would tell him that I know he masterbates, always has and it is no big deal. I do it too. Then I would tell him that to be real about the situation, if something didn't happen soon, we both would end up in a sexual situation with someone else, because we are only human and we have needs. Then, I would ask what he thought, and make some suggestions. Liven things up, make it interesting, make your own porn, role play, masturbate for each other, so on and so forth. Keep things exciting. Strip naked and rub your *** in his face when he is least expecting it. Men have to feel like they are wanted, bad. When they don't , it is an insult to them. Make sure you are doing your part and all that you can, and if it still doesn't help, I am afraid of what may happen. Sorry I couldn't be more help.
Hope everything works out.
2007-08-17 15:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by Irishgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm . You really want to get married to this man. A man that madterbates when he has his fiance. And watching porn. Now I would be outter disgusted ... i am very sorry. But i think the same way in which he can watch porn and stuff he will cheat on you if he is not doing so at the present moment. Clearly your are not enough for this man and he shows no signs of getting ready to settle down with no one woman. Now i suggest you be very firm about this matter to your fiance, break it off (i am sure you do not want to spend the rest of your life worrying about what he is doing when he should be sexually pleasing you). Alot of other men are out there ones that are not as disgusting as the man you are with now. Now it appears to me you love this man cery much , and i am afraid i can't say the same about him loving (respects ,cares , support) you. Now i advise you to go for counsiling ( if he does not want to break it off instantly). If counsiling does not work and he does not love you enough to stop hurting you by continuing what he is doing ... break it off! why break it off? ... don't waste your time , your life on this man who seems to not care about you and what you want. Don't give your love to someone that you can never satisfy. Besides it is very disrespectfull too ... **** watching porn when you have a woman at home. Tell me your not ******* mad plz. Got to do something and now. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME U HAVE ONE LIFE TO LIVE LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST AND ASKING THIS MAN OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITH HIM NOT STOPN IS USELESS!!!
2007-08-17 15:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
many men masterbate and same with women its not that he wants you to look like the models hes abviously still with you and with some guys its a boyish hideing porn under the bed thing or the thrill of being caught or even watched. you shouldnt put yourself down about your looks you are you and he well is him but talk about it not badger him for answers when hes comfortable he will give u an answer.
2007-08-17 15:24:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
my advice from present situations.... guys go by visuals right? well i dont know how out going you are but why not make him feel more confident and comfortable by helping him masterbate..... its not a bad thing and that way instead of looking forward to coming home to porn he'll be wanting you.
im not saying all the time but at least this way you'll be there and im sure he will get way more excited over the real thing than those 'pictures' of a diseased woman.....
2007-08-17 15:24:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may be embarassed about his masterbating, that's not the issue. The reall issue here is your lack of self esteem because you feel he is uninterested in with way you look. Wow, I just went through that with my boyfriend. Ask him directly if it's you that's not doing it for him. If he is just plain old uninterested in the way you look, or is he looking to do something a bit more adventerous and kinky in the bedroom.
2007-08-17 15:17:02 · answer #6 · answered by fairiechild102682 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't think its really about the porn. sometimes people just get tired or lazy, but you still need the "release." and as you know, its alot easier to get one person into the mood then it is to get 2 people going.
maybe you can consider the other things going on right now and if there's been a lot of work or other stresses for him, that could be why he's not into it. don't instantly blame yourself...a lot of women do that.
2007-08-17 15:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by lost_irish_75 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have a problem with my boyfriend doing this too. I've caught him a few times (not actully in the act but the lotion on the bed and the DVD still on). It's just disturbing and I don't understand why. He keeps doing it though and I just keep finding things (he's already made our computer crash three times because of the sites he goes to! I don't even get internet anymore). It's very annoying and guys don't understand why we don't like it and we never understand why they can't stop. All guys are pervs.
2007-08-17 15:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by Kam 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I had this experience a few years ago with my ex. He would watch porn and masturbate constantly and he and I would barely have sex. Actually I was quite turned off by it and didn't want him touching me. I called into one of the sex radio shows where they answer your questions and the doctor told me that he may have a sex addiction. And thinking back on all of the things he did, I agreed. He didn't seek help for his problems, so I broke up with him. You may want to ask your man to see a doctor.
2007-08-17 15:19:04 · answer #9 · answered by deecee4ever 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Omg! why are you soo damn high maintenance and self-centered about this, let the man masturbate. if you can't give him the freedom to do this, then he just just dump you.
it's not HIM that doesn't get it... it's YOU!!! deal with it.
all guys jerk off, if he didn't have porn, he would have some other girl in his mind while jerking off to.
the fact that you're soo damn insecure and constantly asking is probably annoying him too.
simple rule: EVERY MAN LOOKS AT PORN... EVERY MAN!!!
you're gonna have a really bad relationship, if you don't accept this fact and stop living in your "daddy thinks i'm a princess" type of world.
but if he's not fulfilling you, then that's another situation. i still watch porn and jerk off, but still have sex with my gf daily.
you're screwed
2007-08-17 15:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋