If someone always locks their car and house door does that mean their bad?

Question

I met this cute guy in college. I noticed that everytime we got into his car he would lock the door. Also the second he got out he would lock the door. Even if we had to run to the store for like 2 min he would lock the door. He would lock his apt door also in the same situations. One time I left my purse in his car and he was like why would you do that. He ran down outside to get my purse for me. It was night not like anyone would even see it. When I told my parents this they asked me to ask him where he was from. It turns out hes from Chicago. When I told my parents this they fliped and forbid me to hang out with him anymore. They said he was from a bad neighbor hood and the the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. How can they forbid me to hang out with someone? Im fricken 19! Then when they found out he was part Italian they fliped out even more. When I told him this he thought I was joking but he seemed really hurt. Why does he always lock his doors?

Is he a bad guy? He seemed really nice. Is he involved with the mafia? Should I hang out with him against my parents wishes? I really like him and hes around my age. Can someone please answer my questions!

Answer 1

All you can conclude is that he's fearful of things being stolen. Chicago has a bad crime rate doesn't it? Surely that's sufficient to explain why he's more cautious than most people.

That he locks the car door from the inside suggests that he is used to driving through some dodgy areas (people open the doors at traffic lights, grab stuff and run off....), but doesn't necessarily mean he lives in one.

Always locking houses and cars is completely normal, essential in cites, and people breaking into cars to steal the stuff that's inside them is very common.

I think your parents are jumping to conclusions way too easily if what you've said is all they're going on. They are just being protective I suppose.

So, basically, he's sensible and from a city and that's why he locks his doors. Perhaps he's a teeny bit paranoid but that doesn't suggest at all that he's not a decent guy.

Answer 2

I usually lock my car when I get out, and I consider it simply a way to protect the possessions. I've heard that locking the door when you're in the car can help with safety if you are in an accident (because the door won't fly open and you won't get ejected). For this reason many cars come with doors that automatically lock when you drive. I don't find it surprising that he locks doors. I'm from a much smaller city than Chicago and I do it. I live in a very nice suburban neighborhood and there are still occasional break-ins and thefts in my neighborhood. You must have grown up in a VERY friendly place if you don't do it. I don't find it suspicious at all. It's simply good sense to lock the car doors and not leave anything that people would want to steal. Surely your college has some thefts and assaults from time to time. For example, at my university, people's parking passes are stolen from their cars all the time. It's just good safety to lock the doors.

Also, if you leave anything in a car that thieves would want, they will usually break the small back window to get to it, which is a very expensive window to replace. So you not only get your stuff stolen but you also have to replace an expensive car window as well.
I agree that maybe we're not getting the whole story here. Perhaps what your parents object to isn't the locking thing at all. It sounds like the cultures you and your boyfriend come from are very different.

Answer 3

I live in Chicago and in a very nice neighborhood. I always lock my car door, lock my front door, and take my keys even when gassing up the car. It is learned behavior. Everyone has heard all the bad stories about people being attacked etc. No one seems to know who they are. Yes some people do get held up or their car stolen, but it's because they leave the keys in the car unattended. Don't waste your time trying to reason with your parents. They won't listen. Do what you feel is best in this situation. If you like the guy and feel safe, then there's no problem.

Answer 4

Let's see, the young man is in college. Give him credit for that. He's being SAFE and making sure he's doing what he can to protect his belongings that he probably worked hard to get. Give him credit for that.
He grew up in Chicago. It's a BIG city...so what???? He went out in the night to get your purse from his car so it didn't get stolen. Give him credit for that! Just cause he's from Chicago makes him bad??? That sounds pretty condescending to me. And the apple doesn't fall far from the tree??? Whoa baby. That's just mean. There are alot of kids who have grown up in GOOD neighborhoods that had everything handed to them by their GOOD parents and they are behind bars now!!!!! And who cares if he's part Italian or Japanese??? It sounds like your parents have some issues they need to deal with, and I'm not trying to be disrespectful when I say that.

I feel sorry for your boyfriend since he thought you were just joking, and I'm sure he WAS/IS hurt!!! That's too bad that he has to be treated like that when your parents don't have a 'real' clue about him.

What is they big deal about him locking his doors??? Maybe he could turn the whole thing around and wonder why your family DOESN'T lock their doors!! That'd be pretty petty, wouldn't it?? You do NOT have to come from a 'bad' neighborhood to figure out that there are bad people no matter WHAT kind of neighborhood you live in and they'll steal you blind! Good for him for having sense enough TO lock up his belongings!!! Nowadays to leave doors unlocked is an invitation for idiots to take your stuff, and even worse, hurt YOU!!!!!

I applaud the guy. He's in college. Obviously he has goals he wants to achieve.

Answer 5

I do the same thing. Its part of being from a city I think. Things are less likely to get stolen if they're locked up. He just might have had a bad experience with something, like his car getting broke into and things got stolen, or house or apartment got broken into. Some stuff like that would suprise you that people change their lifestyle a bit. In his case, just locking things up to prevent that from happening again or not as much... i think you should be able to hang out with him.. just don't hang around him in front of your parents noses... and i think hes OK, no mafia or anything. Why not ask him? If hes bad like you say he is (mafia and gang related living places..) i would leave. You're Young and should hang out with the right crowd. So far, hes the right one.Parents acting like them seem weird. Just ask why and decide from that answer...It's probably nothing to worry about. Some people are safety conscious like that. Just let it play out a bit longer. If he gives you any reason to doubt him, then leave Good luck!

Answer 6

Because he knows there are bad people in the world that try doorknobs and cars to see if they're locked. I lock my apartment up when I go to get the mail or throw out the trash.
I dont think your friend is in the mafia. Not everyone from Chicago is from the mafia. I grew up in Philadelphia and knew a lot of mafia members. They're also out here in California. And-since when is Chicago a bad neighborhood?
Your parents have watched too many movies. There are all kinds of mafia. We have the Mexican, Irish and even Polish mafia. Why dont you bring this boy home and let your parents meet him instead of judging by his heritage?

Answer 7

Locking your doors behind you doesn't make you a bad person. I do the same thing. I'm paranoid about it. I don't know why but I am. Its part of being from a city I think. Things are less likely to get stolen if they're locked up. As for your parents I have no idea why they would react that way. Seems like there's something missing from your story.

Answer 8

It's possible that he once had his car broken into - now he won't leave valuables in it. Or maybe, he left it unlocked, and someone opened the door and stole from him. I used to leave my car unlocked all the time, until someone stole my backpack out of it. Now, I always lock it.

Same thing with his house - maybe he's had a breakin, or maybe he is just used to securing his posessions. It is not a bad thing.

It has nothing to do with being Italian. Assuming that someone is affiliated with the Mafia just because they are Italian is very bigoted and stereotypical - better not say that to him unless you REALLY want to offend him.

Living in a big city like Chicago, he probably has a heightened sense of wanting to secure his belongings. Larger cities tend to have a higher crime rate. Maybe he is used to thinking someone would rob him. Most people that live in big cities think like that.

Your parents sound like small-town white-bread people afraid of what they don't understand. I wouldn't listen to them. If you like this guy, there's no reason you shouldn't keep seeing him.

Answer 9

I think that anyone that locks doors shows a respect for personal property , caution and security. Those are not bad qualities to have. He pays money for the things he locks up why shouldn't he protect them?
I lock my doors and my vehicle and I am a mother and a respected member of my town, and it isn't because of where I live that I lock things up.
We cannot judge one from where they live, because that is not who they are inside.
You are 19..... old enough to decide if he is what you are interested in pursuing, but you will have to realize what you are up against( your parents opinions) if anything serious comes from this. You do not have to make decisions based on a stereo type! If you are interested, get to know him and see for yourself. I would understand why he would be hurt by their opinions they were cruel words. You are going to have to tell him you are not supporting what your parents think, and say I am getting to know you not them right now. I think if he is winning you over he will gradually win your parents respect as well. I wouldn't share anymore of your parents opinions of him with him for now he may get discouraged and resentful and leave the relationship before you know what could of been... or he may start to hate your parents that is never a good thing!

Answer 10

I always keep my car doors lock when I'm in it and when it's parked. It only takes a few seconds for someone to enter your car that you don't want there. Same with my house, the doors are locked at all times. At 19 your parents have no say in who you see and date. He locks his doors because he is being extra careful at protecting what's his.