How can we save them?Children and Abuse? Please Read, and tell me If this is abuse or Do you think it is ok!?

Question

I saw a man Smacking (and i mean hard,)a kid more then 15 times and then shoving him into their car then threw something at him. I was very disturbed by watching this. I got the truck discription and and licence plate number. When I got home I called the police and they said that in this state of Pa, parents are allowed to punish their children. I agree with that but it should only be to a certain extent. Why couldnt they investigate it? How do they even know if that was even the child's father? What does this mean that you can beat your kid till they die and say OH, WELL, THEY NEEDED TO BE PUNISHED. Were is the protection for our children, No wonder the world is full of hate cause the children today are shown hatred so they learn how to hate. Am I just over reacting? Were is the love? Dont our children deserve to be loved and not hated on? They are our future!

Answer 1

I don't agree that this guy should have did it that many times, but whatever floats someone's boat. i really can't stand people like you who take a spanking and turn it into the police. reguardless of how many smacks they got. i do think it was a little extreeme, but you know what? i am not the parent of this guy's child and i (along with you and every other busy body in the world) don't have a right to say how people can and can't discipline their child.

"What does this mean that you can beat your kid till they die and say OH, WELL, THEY NEEDED TO BE PUNISHED."

I don't think he beat his child to the death. so you were being extremely dramatic there.

the police knows the laws. sorry if the police don't bow down to your little busy body matters.

Edit: I've also seen (and heard about) a lot worse than that. Try watching a child get kicked and pushed down the stairs. shoved into the walls. try watching a child get raped by their father. then you can call the police and scream child abuse. those things DO happen you know? yet no one seems to care about them, because they're all running around screaming to CPS and the police that they saw someone spank their kids in a store or parking lot. and how that is ohhh so much child abuse! ALSO...we're only hearing your side of the story. people who freak out over spanking being child abuse have been known to overreact and make things up to make it sound worse than it is. for all we know this guy gave his kid a few swats and you said it was 15 just to get him in trouble. too bad it backfired.

there's always 2 sides to a story.

Answer 2

Greetings, I must start off by saying that good for you for caring.There are so many people who are so closed minded, self centered and just plain old cold that would not have.Sadly some would have the frame of mind "it's not my child".Also I must say that I totally agree with the responses of V, Tina,Linda1314 and Southern Yankee.There are things a child will do and say that it's time for a spanking,not a beating.Spanking is what a parent do, after so many warnings and as a last resort.A beating is what you give in a fight.When it(spanking) becomes wrong is when the parent goes from "what you done or said was wrong and you know it" to "I'm going to teach you a lesson you won't soon forget" in other words the parent going from "being frustrated" to "being angry".And finally I PARTIALLY agree with the response that Me wrote.Which was some people think that children should not be disciplined physically at all, well to them I say talking and timeout does not work all the time.But if the child knows the he/she will possibly receiceive a spanking after a certain amount of warnings it will get their attention and help the child to remember the next time this type of disobedience present itself.Also these types of people will also overexaggerate and overreact.I agree that a parent that's abusing a child should be reported and punished by appropriately by the law. Sadly some of our laws have taken a turn for the worst when it come to morality and human life.When a person goes to jail for not taking care of dogs properly and a mother who left her child in a hot car because she stated she did not want to wake the child so she went into her cool atmosphere house meanwhile the child died and she got NO jail or prison time.No child should be abused nor thrown into a car.Disciplined yes, Abused no.

Answer 3

When my son was in kindergarten there was a little girl who was so obviously abused I didn't understand why they didn't take her away. She had been taken away by CPS and then put back in the home. The mom wanted her home because she got welfare for her and with her and her sisters out of the home there was no income. So the state gave the kids back and we met them through kindergarten. In the morning before class waiting for the teacher the step dad kept "tickling" the girl between her legs. I was shocked. I called CPS at least once a week. I know that the teacher called a few times. The child came to school with huge bruises and cuts. She always seemed to be 'walking into doors'. That was an obvious lie. Then one day my son [he was only five at the time] and I were at my doctors office. We were outside waiting for my ride and that family was in the parking lot. I saw the step father chase the little girl down and pick her up, kicking and punching her, and literally threw her poor little limp body into the car. So I ran back into the doctors office and told them "Call the police!" They said since they didn't see it they couldn't call the police. Once again I was shocked! So I wrote down their car plate number. When I got home I called the police-because they wouldn't let me use the phone at the doctors and I didn't have a cell then. They said since I didn't have the address of the child's home they couldn't do anything. I KNEW they lived near me so I walked up the street until I found their home. I called the police again. I told them everything. They said they'd call CPS and go over with them. Well the following day the girl was still there. I told the teacher what I saw. She called it in. I called every week of the school year. Nobody did a damn thing about it. At the end of the school year she came up to me and told me she wished I was her mommy. It made me cry right away. I knew this child was being hurt but legally nobody would help. I actually wanted to take this child into my home but I knew I had no legal right to do so. This was four years ago. We've since moved. I don't know what's going on with the girl because she wasn't at school the following year. They probably moved to another district. I still cry thinking about it. I can't understand how the police and so called child protective services agency didn't help esp knowing that the child came from an abusive family! I don't have an answer for you...I wish I did. It's a crazy world and people say the state steps in when you just spank your child that's not true and I know this for a fact. I've seen otherwise.

Answer 4

In Illinois there is a child abuse hotline, maybe there is one in PA. I was told that even though you call the hotline they local child protection agencies are so understaffed that they do not get a chance to investigate every suggestion of abuse. But if there is one, you should call so at least you have done what you can. If there is another report in the system of this man being an abuser it may help to make the call. And if you think there is a chance that this child had been abducted you can call the cops again and tell them what you saw, but take the position that you are worried that the man was not the child's father.

Good luck. The world is full of people who love and cherish children, they do not make the news very often because it's not as "dynamic a story." Don't stop caring and getting involved.

Answer 5

What you are describing seems really nothing to me if the beaten child was a son/daughter of the beater.

I remember having been punished severely so many times in my child hood days for an alleged wrong doing or skirmishes or even misunderstanding on the parents side. But nevertheless, I still love my parents the most. They did what they can do at best in their abilities. Well, I am from India. So I can take this very lightly. But probably it might not be suitable for all. Especially sensitive people like you who really feel for them.

But if parents condition really out of love and affection then I don't think that should be stopped.

Answer 6

I don't _enjoy_ reading them, and I don't go out of my way to do so, but when I do I always feel grateful. Grateful that my husband and son are alive and well, and grateful that I have no one in my life who would harm my child. Good can come out of them too.I've had stories like that just put me in a sad mood all day, but then I have to look at my son and snuggle him to death. I find that after reading something horrible, I'm more thankful for what I have. I mean...why am I worrying so much about the fact that we're dirt poor when I have the most beautiful little boy? I think for people that read them all the time are like the people who slow down when driving by an accident on the highway. Morbid curiosity. I also think a lot of people feel the need to acknowledge these people somehow...which I understand.

Answer 7

Here is what bothers me about all these answers. WHERE do you propose that child (you didn't mention the age) should go? Our foster families are stretched to the limit as is the whole system. I personally feel like I'm a terrific parent, but have let frustration overtake me on some days and haven't lived up to my total potential as a parent. I'm educated in child psychology, so I should know better, right? I would imagine (just using case study method here) that most parents have had days that they aren't proud of their parenting decisions. That behavior is extreme, but how is "turning him in" HELPING the situation (the dad, the child, etc). Wouldn't it be better to step in and offer parenting classes or a break of some kind?

Sorry, I'll step off the soap box, but I think if we support each other as parents more and don't tear each other down so much, everyone benefits!!

Answer 8

I live in PA, and yeah, punishment is acceptable. However, that guy went above and beyond punishment. You don't smack a kid that many times, shove the child into a vehicle, and then throw something at the child. That's not punishment. :(

I feel really sad for that kid. Yuck to the police for not even checking it out.

Answer 9

While corporal punishment is still in play in a few states, including mine, it's limited to a hand striking the backside once, maybe even twice, to correct a mistake. Usually, the mistake has to be pretty big in order for this to happen, hitting, biting, etc.

I know, that sounds stupid, correcting violence with a violent action, but it's still legal. The situation you described, sounds like the punishment was done out of frustration and anger, never a good thing. That was way overboard and I'm surprised it wasn't investigated.

To me, yes, it's abuse.

Answer 10

I've found that the police cannot always be expected to follow through on complaints like this. My neighbor was in the habit of beating his teenage son with a belt while his teenage wife was upstairs beating his 7 year old twins with her belt. I called the police, but the lieutenant on duty assured me that it was the parent's right to punish his children anyway way that he saw fit and that he personally wouldn't take kindly to anyone interfering with his punishing his own son. However, when I told my story to the local newspaper, the next day the whole family was hauled into the sheriff's office, resulting in mandatory family counseling on behalf of Child Protective Services.

Make all the noise you need to. Call Child Welfare or Family Services or whatever it's called in PA. Call the newspapers, the TV stations, the State Police, the District Attorney, anyone who will listen. Times are changing, but it takes people like you and me sometimes to drag society, or least some of its members, kicking and screaming into the 21st century.