What do I do about my 17 month old baby throwing fits?

Question

I am a mother of 4 boys. All but one of them has been a joy to raise. My 17 month old has a problem. It started when he was young. He started biting his toys and other people when he got mad. Then he started picthing fits when he didn't get his way. Falling down in the floor crying, kicking, screaming, and hitting. My other children behave very well, so I don't know where he's getting it from. I have tried everything from spanking him to ignoring him. He "demands" thaqt I hold him all of the time. If I take him to a babysitter, he screams the whole time I'm gone. Whether it be 1 hour or 4! I love my son, but I'm outta ideas. Can anyone help???

Answer 1

One of my sons was the same way. I honestly started freaking out wondering if he was going to be one of those phychos that is just born with a brain glitch and is horribly aggressive and abusive. I shed a lot of tears for that boy. We tried ignoring him too. It helped a little. We would step over him and carry on a conversation. The entire family acted as though he was invisible. The second he stopped we would say, "Oh! There you are!" almost like a game of peekaboo. He actually thought he was invisible after awhile. At the beginning, anytime we saw something that would trigger an incident we would say, "Do you want a hug? Don't disappear!" It actually worked. It took about a month for it to all go away but it eventually did and I have to say he is one of the sweetest, most affectionate, empathetic teen boys I have ever seen now. Take care and good luck.

Answer 2

If you are willing to try something new and are open minded I have a great suggestion for you. It is a homeopathic remedy called chamomillia. I too have a 17 month old fit thrower, and this works with amazing results. The idea of homeopathy can be complex, but basically it is that "like begets like," meaning if you stimulate the psyche or body with TINY amounts of something that will actually cause the problem if given in large amounts, the body/psyche will be stimulated in a healthy way to heal that problem. People's personalities all have a homeopathic remedy called a "constitution" that helps balance out where they are imbalanced. The remedy for the description of your son (and my daughter) is classic for chamomillia. If you go to the health food store you can find this, giving him 30 C strenght 3 times a day for three days. Just see if it helps! Kids love it, it comes in little sugar pellets. What happened with my daughter was amazing, so much so that when she started to feel crabby she would independently have me take her to the cabinet and implore me to give it to her. Her fits have really mellowed out. Also, I just have to add that by spanking him, you are only teaching him that the way to deal with some one who does something you don't like is to get angry and hit them, which is the exact behavior you are trying to stop him from doing. When my children hit or bite, I tell them they must have gentle hands and have them give the person they hurt a gentle touch, and ask them if they are ok. Then I tell them "this is how we touch others." He may also be lashing out for your attention, which he exhibits by crying with the babysitter, wanting to be held etc. Try setting aside 5 minutes a day that are just for you and him. I know its hard when you have many kids. Good luck!

Answer 3

Not saying this is the case at all......

However my oldest daughter (today is her 19th bday) behaved like that when she was little. We "went with the flow", assumed it was just a kid thing. We just lived with it. Turns out years later, when she was in high school, that she had a milder case of ADHD. The school didn't pick up on it because she wasn't as disruptive and crazy as other kids with ADHD. It was discovered due to some evaluation exams that she took in a high school psychology class. The result of the exam came back saying seek professional help now.

I don't know that you can or want to have him checked for ADHD/ADD at this age? But be aware that it could be a problem and you might consider having him evaluated for ADHD/ADD when he gets to elementary school. Don't trust the school counselors to do a proper evaluation, seek a child psychiatrist.

We really wish we had done that for her, she may have had an entirely different experience in school if we had gotten her help when she was younger.

Answer 4

Try seeing a family counselor who specializes in this type of behavior. Ignoring the tantrums is the most effective method that I know of that has worked for me. My son is 17 months old and if we ignore the tantrums and place in a place where he can't hurt himself then he quits screaming within 5 minutes. It took many months (about 2 months) before he calmed down, but it worked. Seriously though, try some therapy for children in that age. It could do a world of good for you and for him. It can't hurt to try.

Answer 5

Teach him to talk about what is making him so mad. Tell him it's ok to feel mad, but not to act the way he does when he's mad. Let him throw the fits, but make him do it in his room. Put him in his crib if you have to! He can come out when he is finished. Just tell him that behavior is not acceptable and if he's going to act that way he can do it in his room where nobody has to see it! Ignore his demand that you hold him, YOU are in charge NOT HIM!!! When he acts up just put him in his bed and let him cry it out! Tell him he can come out when he can act properly! Watch the Nanny show for other ideas that really work!!

Answer 6

my daughter used to behave this way, and I would just calmly get up and leave the room. if it continued, or she followed me around I would put her in her room and tell her when she calmed down she was welcome to come out. I had to do this several times before she caught on. sometimes children with food allergies behave this way. I noticed every time my daughter had anything with sugar in it, it was just a matter of minutes before she would start acting up. It's a very difficult age until 3yrs when they calm down somewhat.

Answer 7

You say that yourve tried the "ignore" method....but how long did you last??? Once your little one discovers thta he isnt getting what he wants by screaming and kicking...and that you arent giving in so easily, then he will start to wind down...my little girl was the same....she doesnt throw fits anymore YAY....GOOD LUCK!

Answer 8

I feel your pain. My first son was such a sweetie. My second son, who is 22 months old, is a demon it seems. He used to be better, but now he sounds exactly like your son! Whatever you do, dont give in. With my son, i put him in his bed, close his door, and walk away until he figures out that i'm not listening.

Answer 9

Have you tried putting him in his crib or playpen when he starts throwing one of his tantrums? Then you'll know that he's safe, but he's not getting attention for throwing the tantrum.