Does this make me an "evil" woman?

Question

I despise the idea of a man being the "head" of me. I was born alone, and likely, I will die alone. Not to get too vitriolic here, but I have been hustling (honestly) since I was 16 years old to make a living for myself and do for me. I have been working since that age, and I'm in a good place in life. I don't need a man to tell me how to manage my affairs and run my business, or calculate what my next move should be. I am quite adept, proficient and more than competent. Why must I seek my husband's "final word" for anything, unless it concerns the both of us?

I don't understand the whole concept of bowing down to a man. I gave birth to a boy who will grow into a man one day, and a girl who will grow into a woman one day. My husband merely had 20-30 minutes of fun. Who is more god-like here? I'm sorry, but men are beneath women. I'll never wear your draperies, walk behind you, silence my voice, fix your plate like a trained puppy...get real, you have hands, don't you?

Answer 1

YOU GO GIRL thats what im talking bout!!
if it makes you "evil"
than i am PROUDLY evil beside you
(along with countless other women who have their head on straight)

Answer 2

Who's telling you that you have to bow down to men?

If it's religion, then consider this. Why did god create eve? I'm sure if you were god and had unlimited and absolute knowledge (i.e. omnipotence) you could figure out a simple way to reproduce a species with only one gender. So why eve, a female, when you already have the male, adam? Simple. Man needed an equal. Wouldn't you feel bored with only animals around? Wouldnt you want something else than that?

I dont know about you, but I was raised that everyone was completely equal. And that was by law, not anyone's beliefs or religion. You dont need someone to tell you what to do, just someone to support and support you.

Answer 3

Why did god create eve? I'm sure if you were god and had unlimited and absolute knowledge (i.e. omnipotence) you could figure out a simple way to reproduce a species with only one gender. So why eve, a female, when you already have the male, adam? Simple. Man needed an equal. Wouldn't you feel bored with only animals around? Wouldnt you want something else than that?

I dont know about you, but I was raised that everyone was completely equal. And that was by law, not anyone's beliefs or religion. You dont need someone to tell you what to do, just someone to support and support you.

Answer 4

Marriage is compromise and partnership. It isn't about bowing down to your mate.

You are a strong woman. That is no excuse to be a poor wife or a door mat. In every household people take on roles and responsibilities. For example, my wife usually cooks because she can do so before I get home. I usually clean the dishes. She usually makes my lunch. I usually mow the lawn and take out the garbage. I do as much laundry as she does. She changes dirty diapers Monday through Saturday, I do it on Sunday. When I collect her dinner plate to wash it, that isn't being a trained puppy. It is doing my part. Maybe you are upset because your husband isn't doing his part. I can't tell from your question. The key here is to work out who does what and then be flexible enough to help out when your mate needs help. None of this is an excuse for him (or you) to kick back drinking beer and watch the other do all the work.

To compare married life to single life is practically pointless. Married life is about putting your family first. I miss some of the features of single life, but if I were single again I would miss the features of married life much more.

Answer 5

Woman's burden is childbirth. Man's burden is to work. Those were the punishments given us in the Garden of Eden for sin. Women have CHOSEN to add work to their burden. Men have not CHOSEN childbirth as far as I know. That is what is meant by the man being the "head". He is to work to feed and support himself and his family. This does not mean he gets the final say in everything, or even anything. Responsible men have open, honest discussions with their families, and then based on their beliefs and morals, make decisions based on what is logical and best for the whole family. No, he gets no say in things that do not impact him, but there is little you as a wife do (or do not do) which does not impact him or the children in some way.

Who said you had to "bow down" to your husband? You don't fix his plate because you are subservent to him. You do it because you love him and it's an easy kindness and courtsey. Do you make guests fix their own plates too because they have hands? Besides, this actually gives YOU control of what and how much he eats. Why wouldn't you want that?

No, this does not make you evil. Just bitter. Personally, I don't get it.

Answer 6

Hmm...I don't think that you are an evil woman for thinking this way. Things and times have changed and every woman has rights just like any man does. But, I also do think that there is a certain amount of self respect when it comes to providing for your family and husband. There are some additional duties when it comes to taking care of them too. It's just what is normal. Now, if your husband is EXPECTING these things then you need to change his way of thinking by using alot of tactic. My husband thanks me for when I do things around the house and we both share responsilities 50/50. When he acts up...I shoot him right back down b/c no woman should have to put up with a man like that. Everything should be equal...and yeah...you know the saying "the man is the Head of the household"...but honey...the woman is the neck and she can turn the head where ever she wants to. Let him have a bit of an ego because you know deep down they need one to survive, but also know that you have the situation in control!

Answer 7

If this is really how you feel about it, why are you seeking validation on a forum that is probably close to 50/50 men and woman? It sounds like you are trying to convince yourself, not anyone else. Be your own person, don't apologize for it.

By the way, a lot of us men out here don't want (or really respect) whatever it is that you were apparently led to believe is an Ideal Woman.

Answer 8

trained puppy??? no. Hopeless Puppet???? definitely! obviously you are not in control of your own life, and when i say that, i mean it in the most compassionate way. here you are probably bored, which by the way is when true feelings most often surface, venting hopelessly about how you don't need a "man". Not only are you contradicting yourself through your statements, specifically the mention of your children, which i am sure you love, who undoubtedly were conceived with a "man", and by default establishing at least one necessary utility of a "man". The second point that i simply cant overlook, concerns how you are spending your free time. however, i do apologize if you had to write what you did at gun point. anyways, my point is, well, you obviously need a man to occupy some of the more "boring" periods in your life. think about it, you have free will....you could be doing anything you wished, but since there really is nothing to do. no where to go, no one to call,,,,heck,,,no errands to run. well, you need something, and that something is a "man", why??? because a "man" gives you life, spirit, and emotion. Put it this way, i don't go running around proclaiming how i don't need diapers.....well...because i don't. but my great grandpa did, and its through him that i learned that the people who proclaim more than any others as "not needing", consistently are the ones who need that "thing/man/diaper/whatever" the most. Grandpa would cuss you up and down, and then go on to lecture you about his capacity to control his bowels, since after all he was a "grown a** man". Unfortunately, about twice a week he would **** his pants.

the truth is that you need a "man", or you wouldn't be with one. i know this because i can honestly say that i have never needed to have sex with a three hundred pound woman. and i am sure you will agree, the hustler you are, that the reason you got married was because, like today, you were bored and decided what would happen if you expressed your feelings in public.

In closing, you need a "man", that obvious. however, to find a man that you like and is dignified....ie..treats you well, walks beside you....and so on. You, will need first to admit to yourself this realization, because i tell you what, i have yet to hang out in a bar while enjoying myself in the company of others, when all i have to feel is disdain for my surroundings. that was a lesson i learned, if i want others to live up and adhere to the principles i seek, i first need to be the person they seek. In plain English....get the chip off your shoulder, rub the sleet from your eyes, and begin treating the "Man" with a little respect. Maybe then, they will begin to treat you the way you feel you ought to be.

p.s. if he is an abuser leave him. and if he isn't.....well, treat him like you would treat yourself...while thinking "now how would i treat myself"

Answer 9

Yes men are the head of the house but a woman is the neck that turns the head.

Prior to the Levites being made the priest of the Tabernacle the man of the family was the patriarch. He was in charge of the religious upbringing.

Woman is not under man she came from his side. She is the completer and helpmate.

I am am an independent woman also. I was the first female assigned as a loadmaster (flight crew member) on the Air Force C-5 cargo plane. It took a long time for me to let my husband do his job as the man of the house but it ended up taking a lot of stress off me and made for a much happier home.

Answer 10

truth is that you need a "man", or you wouldn't be with one. i know this because i can honestly say that i have never needed to have sex with a three hundred pound woman. and i am sure you will agree, the hustler you are, that the reason you got married was because, like today, you were bored and decided what would happen if you expressed your feelings in public.

In closing, you need a "man", that obvious. however, to find a man that you like and is dignified....ie..treats you well, walks beside you....and so on. You, will need first to admit to yourself this realization, because i tell you what, i have yet to hang out in a bar while enjoying myself in the company of others, when all i have to feel is disdain for my surroundings. that was a lesson

Answer 11

nobody is beneath anyone. That's the problem here there is too much of that type of thinking. If men and women work together so much more can get done. And many men and women do work together. Who has told you that you are beneath men anyways? That's great that you speak your mind, everyone should. And no, don't bow down to men. Don't worry about who is more god-like. Just worry about yourself and your kids.