Do you think its right for my baby's father to tell me not to breast feed?

Question

i told him that we would not have to worry about buying formula cuz i was gonna breast feed he got all mad and stuff and to me that not child of his will ever breast feed he hurt my feelings with that one.

Answer 1

He can voice his opinion, but you don't have to listen. There are many benefits to breastfeeding.

Benefits

Breastfeeding benefits both mother and child physically and psychologically. Nutrients and antibodies are passed to the baby while hormones are released into the mother's body.[18] The bond between baby and mother can also be strengthened during breastfeeding.[19]

[edit] Benefits for the infant

The health benefits of breastfeeding are well documented. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics,
“ Extensive research, especially in recent years, documents diverse and compelling advantages to infants, mothers, families, and society from breastfeeding and the use of human milk for infant feeding. These include health, nutritional, immunologic, developmental, psychological, social, economic, and environmental benefits. ”

—American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement[8]

Breastfed babies have a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and other diseases. Suckling at the breast encourages the proper development of the infant's teeth and speech organs. Suckling also helps prevent obstructive sleep apnea. Also, breast milk is at the right temperature and is immediately available from the breast.

Breastfeeding is associated with lower risk of the following diseases:

1. Allergies[20]
2. Asthma[21][22]
3. Autoimmune thyroid diseases[23]
4. Bacterial meningitis[8]
5. Breast cancer[18]
6. Celiac disease[24]
7. Crohn's disease[25]
8. Diabetes[8][19]
9. Diarrhea[8][19]
10. Eczema[26]
11. Gastroenteritis[27]
12. Hodgkin's lymphoma[8][19]
13. Necrotizing enterocolitis[8]
14. Multiple sclerosis[23]
15. Obesity[8][19]
16. Otitis media (ear infection)[8][19]
17. Respiratory infection and wheezing[8][19]
18. Rheumatoid arthritis[28]
19. Urinary tract infection[8]

Breast milk has several anti-infective factors. These include the anti-malarial factor para-amino benzoic acid (PABA),[29] the anti-amoebic factor BSSL,[30], lactoferrin, the second most common protein in human milk, that binds to iron and inhibits the growth of intestinal bacteria like E. coli and Salmonella, [31][32] and IgA which protects breastfeeding infants from microbial infection.[33]

Breast milk contains the right amount of the amino acids cystine, methionine and taurine that are essential for neuronal (brain and nerve) development.[34] A New Zealand study tracking over 1000 children for 8 to 18 years found small but measurable increases in cognitive ability and education achievement. This remained even after adjusting for other factors (such as maternal education level).[35]

One study suggests that in resource-poor settings where safe infant formula is unavailable, exclusive breastfeeding (as compared with "mixed" feeding where breastfeeding is combined with formula, solids or animal milk) may reduce the risk of HIV transmission from mother to child in infants less than 6 months old.[36]

Unlike human milk, the predominant protein in cow's milk is beta-lactoglobulin, an important factor in cow milk allergies.[37]

[edit] Benefits for the mother

Breastfeeding benefits the mother. It releases hormones such as oxytocin and prolactin that have been found to relax the mother and make her feel more nurturing toward her baby.[38] Breastfeeding within a short time after giving birth increases levels of systemic oxytocin. This makes the uterus contract more quickly and decreases maternal bleeding.[39]

As the fat accumulated during pregnancy is used in milk production, prolonged breastfeeding can help mothers to return to their previous weight.[40][41] Frequent and exclusive breastfeeding can cause lactational amenorrhea, a delay in the return of menstruation and therefore fertility. Sometimes this is deliberately used as a birth control method. However, it is unreliable. Many mothers have become pregnant again while still exclusively breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is possible throughout pregnancy, but generally milk production will be reduced at some point during the pregnancy.[42]

Breastfeeding mothers have less risk of many diseases including breast cancer,[8][19] ovarian cancer,[8][19] decreased insulin requirements in diabetic mothers,[43] stabilizing maternal endometriosis,[8] less risk of post-partum hemorrhage,[39] less risk of endometrial cancer,[44][45] less risk of osteoporosis[8][19] and beneficial effects on insulin levels of mothers with polycystic ovary syndrome.[46]

Mothers who breastfeed longer than eight months have better bone re-mineralisation.[47]

On the other hand, some breastfeeding women have pain from thrush or staph infections of the nipple.[48]

Additionally, breastfeeding save a lot of money to the parents.

[edit] Bonding

The hormones released during breastfeeding strengthen the mother's nurturing feelings towards the child. Strengthening the maternal bond is very important as up to 80% of mothers suffer from some form of postnatal depression, though most cases are very mild. The woman's partner and other caregivers can support her in a variety of ways and this support is an important factor in successful breastfeeding. Teaching partners how to manage common difficulties is associated with higher breastfeeding rates.[49]

Breastfeeding can have an impact on the personal relationship between a mother's partner and the child. While some partners may feel left out when the mother is feeding the baby, others see it as an opportunity for strengthening family bonds. Looking after a new baby and breastfeeding take time. This can add pressure to the partner and the family, because the partner has to care for the mother as well as performing tasks she would otherwise do. However, as partners are often very willing to give this support, this pressure can help to strengthen family bonds.[50]

If the mother is away, an alternative caregiver may be able to use expressed breast milk (EBM) to feed the baby. The various breast pumps available for sale and rent make it possible for working mothers to breastfeed their babies for as long as they want. However, the mother must produce and store enough milk to feed the child for the time she is away and this may not always be practical. Also, the other caregiver must be comfortable in handling breast milk. These two factors may prompt the mother - perhaps against her wishes - to switch to artificial feeding, either temporarily or permanently.

[edit] Recommendations and research

The World Health Organization advises:[51]
“ A vast majority of mothers can and should breastfeed, just as vast majority of infants can and should be breastfed. Only under exceptional circumstances can a mother's milk be considered as unsuitable for her infant. For those few health situations where infants cannot, or should not, be breastfed, the choice of the best alternative – expressed milk from the infant's own mother, breast milk from a healthy wet-nurse or a human-milk bank, or a breast milk substitute fed with a cup, which is a safer method than a feeding bottle or a teat – depends on individual circumstances. Infants who are not breastfed, for whatever reason, should receive special attention from the health and social welfare system since they constitute a risk group.

Answer 2

Excuse me, but this man is nasty bastard. You've just had a baby and your body is still changing.

This baby is BOTH of yours and he has no right, morally or legally, to stop you from breast feeding. Why does he feel this way? It's a rare thing for a man to have such an adverse reaction to this. I have male friends who love watching their partner feeding their child and use this as a bonding experience for themselves and the baby.

Breast milk does have benefits, but formula is fine if that what people choose. For every study that says breast milk is better, there is another study that says it makes no diffrence.

Let me ask you a question. If you sat down and started to breast feed your baby, what would your partner do? Would he tear the baby from your arms? Would he yell and scream?

This behaviour is abuse. Emotioanl and mental abuse abuse quite obviously, yet, you have to ask yourself if he could be physically abusive if he didn't get his way.

Regardless, if he is around he will cause trouble for you and put your baby in a negative and volatile environment.

Can you stay with your parents? In my opinion, i would not wait a moment longer. I know i sound dramatic, but do you seriously think he will change his mind over this? I can tell you, he won't. Go and stay with your parent for as long as you are breastfeeding. This way, when the baby's father comes to visit, he has less of a chance at being successful with stopping you feeding. I don't think he could overpower you and your parents. Plus, you will have the peace and quiet when he has gone.

Having a new baby should be as stress free as possible. It doesn't sound like that for you at the moment. Remember, you have to look after the baby first, but also yourself.

If you can't stay with your parents or close friends, go and see your doctor, who can give you the names and numbers of some female or mother facilities. Places where mother can live with their babies.

Answer 3

well he obviously doesnt know the benefits of brestfeeding and never had the experience of seeing a breastfed baby thrive. he simply is being ignorant and viewing the breast as a sex organ and it is not it is meant for nourishment. if u want to give baby the best start breast is best! there are hundreds of antigens in breastmilk that formula does not and cannot duplicate or imitate. breastfed babies also get sick less than formula why do you think? the get lots of immunities from mom. sorry the father of your child is a moron but as mom you need to make your own informed decision. so what if u do breastfeed then what?...he will leave?? what is his consequence? how ridiculous this sounds...breastfeeding is the most natural thing on the planet along with the childbirth your recently accomplished too.

Answer 4

What a LUG!!!
Does he not know the benefits of breastfeeding? I would read to him some literature on the subject or on the web.
Go to:
www.askdrsears.com
www.kellymom.com

With breastfeeding, you baby will rarely get sick. Ours is 1 now and has been sick only once.

-Low risk of colic- does he plan to stay up with you all night with a colicky infant? Our oldest had colic and I was nursing- but it only lasted 5 hours a night. When the ped. gave him formula to try- he was going 18 hours a day! Not an exaggeration. It was AWFUL! I vowed never to stop breastfeeding another baby- and haven't.

-Low change of allergies.

Gosh, the benefits are enormous. He sounds uneducated on the topic and it's either going to be you who educates him or to leave him- how is he going to manage a baby with his attitude??? Worrisome- that's what that is.

You need to be firm, you need to tell him what you plan. You need to expect that if you have issues, he is not going to support you. You need to get a support network- a friend, La Leche League in your area, etc. You can see if he'd want to go to a meeting- but I will warn you, there will be nursing mom's in the meeting. He may not like that.

See: www.lalecheleague.org for information on nursing and on meetings that YOU can attend.

As soon as your baby is born, place your baby on your breast. It helps to get things going for both of you- and baby will know what to do. Likewise, expect that for the first 6 weeks, baby will nurse a lot- and I do mean a lot!

You can email me if you have any questions. I feel bad for you- this is going to be an uphill battle.

Answer 5

What are his reasons? Doesn't her know all the benefits of breast-feeding? It is cheaper & way more healthy. Doesn't he know that's what breasts are for? They are not there for sexual purposes, but to feed your baby.
Ask him questions and then give him the facts on breast-feeding. Also, let him know that since he is so adamant about bottle-feeding, he can get up in the middle of the night and prepare the bottles and feed the baby.
If you are comfortable with doing it, then do it. It is very beneficial to the baby, it easier (redy made) & also helps bond.
Good luck!

Answer 6

No, he he can not tell you to not breast feed. He obviously doesn't know the health benefits associated with breast feeding. The decision is totally yours and not his. I am still breastfeeding my 16 month old daughter and she is very very healthy. Not only will it save you money, but there are so many health benefits for the mother and child. I would try to explain to him the health benefits of breast feeding. If he is still negative about you breast feeding, then tell him that it is your decision. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

It's not his decision, It's yours. Breast milk is a lot healthier than formula. If you are unable to breast feed then formula is a substitute. Go ahead and breast feed, it helps the babies immune system.

Answer 8

As long as you eat right, and you don't do drugs, smoke, drink, or anything else that could harm your baby it should be your choice to breast feed. This could be a wonderful bonding experience for you and you new little one. It could also be a good experience for the father to be present and see that this is a very special time for mommy and baby and also daddy.

Answer 9

tell him to go fly a kite. Breast feeding is the best thing you could ever do for your child. explain to him the benefits vs formula feeding.

Answer 10

I think if you want to breast feed then that is what you should do don't let any man in this world step in yourway of you and your child well being

Answer 11

I think it is completely WRONG for him to say that. The benefits of breastfeeding, even for just a few days or weeks, are enormous. By telling you that he forbids you from breastfeeding your child he is robbing the baby of some very important nutrients, antibodies to protect the baby from illness, and bonding between you and the baby.

Yes, babies can survive and be healthy without breastfeeding, but even for that very first day the benefits of breastfeeding are huge and should not be ignored.

We have a forum about breastfeeding at A Mommy's World