I really want to be with him, but my religion won't allow it?

Question

There's this boy I really like, we met up 3 times, and the third time he kissed me. I'm a religious girl, and those interactions between a man and woman before marriage are sinful acts. Ever since then, I told him it's better we remain friends, and I explained how I felt to him. He was so understanding, but I know I hurt him because he really likes me. I don't know what to do, i'm so torn.. please someone help me =(

Just some extra info, i'm a Muslim and so is he, but he couldn't care less for religion. There's nothing worst in my eyes than being untrue to God, untrue to my morals and values, and ultimately untrue to myself. I live in the western world, but God is in my heart no matter where I live or what situation I find myself in. For everyone who understands where i'm coming from, I thank you, and to everyone else who said i'll never live my life if I keep this way of thinking up.. well my religion IS my life. Hopefully you can all understand, I thank you all for the responses and help it's truly appriciated!!<3

Answer 1

What does your religion allow between the two of you? How old are you? Is he of the same religion?

While I don't agree with it I'm not going to tell you to abandon your religion. But keep in mind that you are going to have to make hard choices. Does your religion allow you to have a relationship with someone not of your religion? If not then this is likely never going to work.

I dated a woman who followed Islam for instance and her beliefs didn't allow her to be with someone who wasn't. In the end any relationship was doomed because neither of us could truly change what we believe.

Before anyone jumps to say this is or isn't in Islam stop because it does not matter at all how you practice it or even what is written somewhere. A religion is how a people practice it and not what is written. The proof is that the older a religion the less it resembles how it is written.


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Answer 2

If he really cared that much about you, he would respect your feelings and understand where you are coming from, and if he was interested in you, he should want to learn more about your religion and what it teaches so that he can get understanding and an idea of what you are saying for himself. My theory is you should hold fast what you believe in and don't let anything or anyone shake your belief. God will never send you someone who does not believe the same as you. So you must make a choice, him or your beliefs. And he may like you but he make like you for the wrong reason (sexual purposes) There is nothing wrong in waiting until marriage to be intimate. I applaud you and send you a high 5 don't let your standards down for anyone. You are worth waiting for, and if a man doesn't understand or want to hear that then he is not the one for you.

Answer 3

You're the only person that could help yourself. We can only give you advice.

The best thing to do in this situation is to get an inventory of what is important to you.

If your religion is important to you, then keep following their rules. One day you'll find somebody who whould also cherish the same rules as you do.

If the person you like is important to you, then keep him, and give up your religious beliefs. (I really won't advice you to do this).

If both are important to you, then you need to find a balance. If this boy really likes you too, then he should be able to accept your religious beliefs no matter what. Slow things down. Kissing on a 3 time meeting is way too fast (I think).

If you're really religious . . . pray for guidance that God introduce you to the right person. Trust in God, Don't you think He knows who the right person is for you? Trust me, there is no better relationship in this world than the one blessed by the Almighty.

Answer 4

That's a tough thing and some people in here are not understanding that you will remain faithful to your religion. You never said if he believed in your religion either. If you are compatable you could probably decide if you'd want to be with him permanently but you have to give it time and not rush into it. Plus how old you are and where you live and what your religion is would be helpful in determining a solution

Answer 5

Apparently, you're not old enough to be in this position. Wait till your a lot older than you are now then try it again.

p.s.-never let any religion rule you'rethoughts or life. You'll regret it.

I, stand corrected. You are asking for an answer to a completely worthless question. Stick to your beliefs and get off Answers!

Answer 6

i understand having sex before marriage may be a "sinful" act but why is kissing considered the same thing? Kissing is just a way to show someone that you care about them...just like cuddling and hugging. If he really likes you then maybe you guys can just hang out and be really close friends.

Answer 7

I've been in the same situation, unfortunately per feelings it didn't work and fortunately for my future happiness it didn't work because I stood for what I believed. If you are religious and don't believe in kissing before marriage then go for it, if he really loves you then he'll hold off until then and then your marriage will be that much better. Dating isn't about having all you want it's about learning about other person and not giving them your body.

Answer 8

just follow your heart & mind. if you really like each other, try explaining to him the importance of your religion and if he really likes/loves you, he will definitely understand it. but, if he doesn't show much interest, well, it's better off without him... it hurts, but you'll get over it. time will come the right man will come along.

Answer 9

what are you torn about?Your beliefs are right and he doesn't seem to mind and this shows respect for you.Never marry an unbeliever,in time the difference will harm you both.you must learn to believe in your own beliefs or you are pretending.Either what you've been taught is right for you or it's not,but never be swayed by others opinions and desires.You will have only your self to blame for your choices.

Answer 10

Dude, what religion are you from? Seriously, the only things that are sinful is having sex before marriage, anything else is okay. You want to know why? how will you even get married if you don't get close? If kissing is sinful, you'll never get married because you'll never feel close with the person you want to be with!