I always pay for my boyfriend when we go on dates...?

Question

I have no problem with this, it's just I think I've spoiled him and he takes everything for granted. I pay every time for his movie ticket, for his food, I've bought him a watch, a hat, (and these things weren't cheap, we are talking a diamond watch), a phone, minutes for the phone totaling up to about $200, and this one time he asked me to buy him some sunglasses but I said no because I like looking into his eyes. This was a long time ago and he brought it up yesterday. I think he doesn't realize how much I spend on him. What he's gotten me is a necklace (it wasn't cheap). What should I do? He would pay for himself, but I think he's gotten into the habbit of me paying for everything, also he doesn't have much money at the time, and that's why I pay. My question is, how do I tell him not to take it for granted and not to be a brat about it and that it means a lot? I want to tell him in a way he will really get the point but I don't want to be mean.

We both love eachother a lot, its just I want to know the wording of how to tell him he's taking advantage of me.

He said thank you to me so many times, though, so I don't get how I'm supposed to say it.

Answer 1

u had already spoiled him.i think he is mature enough to know what is he doing.

Answer 2

well some guys dont have a problem while others want to pay because they are the "man" in the relationship. i do think he is taking this for granted, now he's crossed the line. does he have a job? if he doesnt then at least try to get one so he can "spoil" you too, i dont find it fair that you pay for everything, heck money doesn't grow on trees. i think you should cut back on the spending and see if he's with you for the money or for you, if he's in for the money he's just pathetic. i hope that isnt the case, but you shouldnt let this go on any longer, yeah once in a while you pay all of the things its ok, but he should put in some of his money. he is in a relationship with after all. you should have a talk with him, ask him, hopefully he wont get pissed or that could mean that i was right and he will change the subject to get away from the "questioning". good luck

Answer 3

You have really been a sucker for this guy and he knows that if he gets rid of you, he will have to find another sucker just like you to even get out on a date. Stop paying for this schmuck's good times plus all the other things you are probably doing for him. When it comes to money, no one is your friend - or your "boy friend". Do you have anyone that you can talk this situation over with? How about your Mom or your Dad, and Aunt or an Uncle that are mature and can explain to you what kind of a guy you are involved with. If you are paying for everything, it means this guy is getting everything for nothing and he must have very little respect for you. How old are you anyway? You sound so immature, but have more respect for yourself and tell him to get lost or pay for the dates now and forever. Do you have a job? Are you in school yet (that is even more sad). Please discuss this with some adult or a counselor it is a sick relationship.

Answer 4

Why on earth did you EVER start paying for your boyfriend!?!
That should never happen! GUYS PAY! It's just the way of the world. Hold off before all you feminists freak out here. Men come into this world with advantages over us, they just do. They are (generally) physically stronger, in business women hit the proverbial glass ceiling, men make more $$ for doing the same jobs as women, the list goes on and on. We women get a few advantages just to even the scales. They hold doors and give up seats AND THEY PAY FOR DATES! I'm not saying you can't buy your man gifts but you should not be paying for the movies and dinner. Any guy that lets you is a first class mooch!

Answer 5

if you truly love someone, it really doesn't matter who has the most money to spend and how often should it occur. be it a dinner date, movie date a small or a big shopping spree or to the extent the one who will entirely pay for the big day "Wedding". If you love someone more than anybody else in the world and you think you can't live without, the one who makes you see life the way it should be, the one who makes you grow and function in the society/work /school in flying colors, then so be it - if you have it then spend it - yes save some for rainy days - but yes - do enjoy your blessings in a good way. the true character of a person can be determined by his or her reactions if you start to show / share your true sentiments. if you re happy to be in the high seat - provider - then continue to do it - but if your bank account seems to be in the rocking rhythm then better to be honest and tell your boyfriend that you can't sustain the spending or the paying for your dates. if he loves you as much as you love him, then he will try to save your relationship by saying that he can start paying or at least share the expenses when you go out or just hang around each other. everyone has to eat you know... good luck girl!

Answer 6

well, first of all. things like hat, watch, phone, minutes, etc are ALL unessecary things (ever been to a best buy store? except for *maybe* the refrigerators, EVERYTHING is luxury stuff that people DONT need). that said, you basically gave him a bunch of gifts. Unless he promised to pay you back, he probably figures you were just being super nice and stuff.
anyways....

if you dont want to actually tell him why you aren'ts paying for him anymore, you could always make up some excuse like "im trying to save some money up in the bank for ________" . which would be perfectly reasonable. and if he gives you any crap about not caring about him or something, dont back down! its YOUR money.

as for taking him on dates and stuff... maybe you two could do something else (cheaper or even free), if he can't afford to pay for himself at the very least when you two go out.

Answer 7

when my boyfriend and i go out sometimes i feel like im paying for everything and when i try to talk about it everything ends up in an argument because its money. you can just take so much. you cant pay for everything. sometimes the guy has to realize that they cant always have what they want and you need to put your foot down and tell him before he turns into a spoiled brat

Answer 8

I don't think your wrong but i think the most tactful way to tell him is to sit him and "I don't want to sound mean or want you to get mad but sometimes I feel like you don't appreciate what i do for . I know that you say thank you and I appreciate that but I feel that you should start paying sometimes when we go places and I in return will start expressing when I think you should pay"

I said the same words because the same thing was happening to me and now my fiance pays and if i want to pay I do and my fiance also expresses to me when she feel I should pay. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

At some point, give him a chance to pay when you go out. Tell hem to take care of that or at least leave ah tip. And for the other things that you buy hem, stop for a minute and see what he does. As far as his cell phone goes, when he runs out of minutes or it's turned off. See what he says as far as paying for it. Let hem know you can't handle his price tag and your own.

Answer 10

You are spoiling him! If he doesn't have much money than do thing within his means. Don't go for expensive things. Poor man have poor man's ways of living. if you marry him in future, you will definitely won't have a good marriage! If you share the cost, its fairer, certainly not paying for everything.

Answer 11

ok hes a lazy looser man!!!!!!anyway lie about it and tell him:baby im having bad time with money.but look i think that ur boyfriend even if hes financial problems are resolved he will not pay because he used to u paying so im sorry but ur acting like u are hes mom and he take money from u.and its sick that he pay for himself.anyway teach him how to be responsible and HOW TO BE A MAN and never give up.but its not only his fault because u are helping him by accepting this attitude.