Things to ponder?

Question

Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

I got them via email

Answer 1

i totally stopped reading to sing the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star before reading the line after them!

Answer 2

What a long question.
yes, 1 million, to give people an eye opener on reality, easier for meat factories to cut them round, towards the fact that they had time to involve themselves, no u grow wings, easier carriage, the kind that could become cured, mans weird brain usage, its actually the sound of a baby when he sleeps, yes different meanings, lol as long as noone knows no, its playing on tv.

Answer 3

I've heard most of em, but never in 1 loooong list like this!...
*STaR* 4 you!
~
Who was the first person to look @ a chicken and think I'm guna eat the next thing that falls outta that bird's bum??!??

Answer 4

OMG I was laughing so freaking hard at these, especially this one: If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Thanks so much for putting a smile on my face.
Here is a star for you as well!

Answer 5

Very good, Star Baby, except I didn't get the one about male ballerina- what? Ballerino? I didn't get it, but I was laughing already, anyway! I'll have to ponder on that one.

Answer 6

Very good, you did a lot of research for all of this and deserve every star you get!

Answer 7

Why does Wendy's have square burgers in round buns?

Answer 8

that's a good list of things to ponder. how long did it take for you to think this up? how come you didn't just write out a few for people to answer? i like it though. some even made me laugh.

Answer 9

You got me on the alphabet and twinkle twinkle lol!

Answer 10

Oh, that was a great list. Had me crackin up at work. (I did stop to sing both songs) Funny funny funny!! * 4 u!!!