My niece is coming to live with me because right now her life is very hard. She is 13 and her mom and her dad are breaking up and her friends are now making fun of her. My sister agreed it'd be best if my niece come to live with me as long as she can visit her and her father. I agreed.
Today my sister e-mailed me angirly saying that she found out I was putting her daughter in a private school, even though it's one of the best schools in LA and her daughter loves it. My sister had said from the begining I could chose the school for my niece.
I called her and told her it's what we agreed on and that this is one of the best schools in LA. My sister yelled at me and said that I was making a bad choice and that I should watch out. Now my sister is so mad she's trying to get my niece not to come even though I filled out half of the paperwork. How can I explain to her we already I agreed, I could chose how her life would be in LA?
2007-08-17 03:13:41 · 7 answers · asked by Jasmine 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My sister told me since she knew nothing about LA I could make the choices!
2007-08-17 03:23:53 · update #1
I do not know how she found out. I told my niece and when I asked her if my niece told her, she said no. So I don't really know who told her.
2007-08-17 03:53:25 · update #2
My niece is also going through a phase where she thinks she is fat and almost was anorexic, but luckily my sister and soon to be ex-brother-in-law saved her.
2007-08-17 04:01:23 · update #3
It sounds like the reason your sister is angry at you is because of the "way" she found out. Did your neice (her daughter) tell her? Her father/her husband tell her? If so, it should have been discussed between you and her, after all she is her mother. It is very kind of you to take on the responsibility of her 13 year old daugher, it's a rough age for Everyone. When the school issue was raised, obviously your sister wasn't thinking on the lines of a "private" verses public school, so she already felt overcome prob. from seeing her daughter happy for the first time in a long time...and not because of anything she (her mother did) .am I right? Tell her you are sorry for the misunderstanding, this is all knew to you also, and you would like to discuss major decissions with her re her daughter on an as needed basis as long as she can be reached. Then you two need to sit down and decide exactely what is determined "Major Decissions". verses day to day up bringing of a 13 yr. girl. One thing you'd better think about now is discussing sex, birth control etc. because if you are enrolling her into school, it sounds like she's going to be there awhile. If you are in a situation where your sister will not be reachable because you two "agreed you could chose how her life would be in LA", maybe you two should sit down and put everything in writing, so there are no further misunderstandings, you two are only hurting this 13 yr old even more. No one is to blame from what you said, it sounds like a major misunderstanding because your sister is so upset. Talk about it and maybe get it in writing so the neice can have some what of a normal life at 13. Good Luck...
2007-08-17 03:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure your sister is just having separation issues. As a mother myself I can understand as my oldest daughter wants to move back east next year, to establish her residency for college so we wont have to pay out of state tution. Sometime we do not think sensably.
Try sending your seis some information on the school or inviting her to visit, this may ease her pain. She may just be going through a hard time and are taking her anger out on you the closest person to her. She obviously trust you if you have her daughter.
2007-08-17 03:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am not sure i am understanding what your sis ter is so mad about. if this is one of the nicest schools...why would that upset her? what i really think is that your sister is having a harder time letting go than she thought she would. have a heart to heart and let her know you are not trying to replace her with her daughter ...but enhance her relationship. this should help you both come to an understanding. good luck
2007-08-17 03:20:38 · answer #3 · answered by jazzy l 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
let her calm down ,then go see a lawyer and put down everything on paper of what schools ,cerfews, and all your rules will be and how long your neice will be with you and then everyone signs it. this way she cant try to take her back when something else comes up that she doesnt like.
2007-08-17 03:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to talk things over with her...shes going through a stressful time
2007-08-17 03:23:13 · answer #5 · answered by mcruz927 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your sister to keep her daughter at home with her, you don't need the drama and bullshit.
2007-08-17 03:35:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What part of "you are not the child's parent" do you not understand? You sister gets to make the choices, not you.
2007-08-17 03:19:16 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋