Im really confused about life?

Question

I want to talk to people and listen to there advice cos i think probably they had a mum and a dad and grandma and stuff so they know about things. But i dont.Im not stupid or anything, but I just have questions about everything and sometimes i think one thing and then i get told im really wrong.

all i want to know is why did my mum leave me? Whay could i have done that made her hate me like that? i was just a

I feel like im in such a tangle. I dont have any friends. i dont have a family. I was gong get a dog but the woman that owns the flat i live at said no.

the only person that talk to me is my neighbour, he says hes got mentle illness and hes 35 but i dont know if thats something i am going to get off him if i sleep with him, but im not now anyway. just wants to have sex with me and i dont want to do that. What should i do? What do other 16 year olds do?i am really upset this week cos i always thought that mum would find me before i was 16 but she aint. i dont like livin

i think a lot about being dead. maybe mum is in heaven and she wants me to go there. sometimes i dream that. maybe she talks to me and thats why she aint come to get me. if i die then mum can look after me and hug me and that.

if she aint dead then maybe in heaven someone will love me. i heard jesus loves everyone and maybe there he'll help me better.

do you think thats true? or doesnt jesus like kids like me?

I was left to die on a street whe i was about 3 months old. But I dont know when or where i was born. I was bought up til i was two by an old lady that pretended i was her kid to get money and then i got taken away and ilived in childrens homes and foster homes..27 differnt ones. i realy dont have anyone real in the world. just myself. i want to find mum but i dont even know her name.. just all i know is the road i was left on.,.but even that might be a lie.
mum shouldnt have done that but someone on here said she might have been raped or something and if thats true she dont want me anyway and maybe thats why im so bad cos the devil is my dad

Answer 1

i was really touched by this question. i feel so sad for you. no 16 year old should be thinking like that! u should be out enjoying life. so u have no family or friends? maybe u could go to your local church group? i am sure there will be a lot of support for you there. as for your suicidal thoughts maybe u should see your doctor. it sounds like you may be suffering from depression which i'm sure would be helped by getting some support or even medication. do u live in the uk? have u tried calling childline? i'm sure they will offer u some help, 0800 1111. i hope u feel better soon :o)

p.s PLEASE dont have sex with some 35 year old weirdo!!!!

Answer 2

It seems to me that when your Mum left you on the street, she was mentally ill. It is very likely that she felt completely overwhelmed and unable to cope. If this was the case, she would have not felt good enough to look after you and be the Mum she wanted you to have.
I believe that when she left you, she imagined that someone would find you and give you a wonderful life with a loving family. She did not leave you out of hate, she thought that it was the best thing she could have done for you.
No one that would leave a child on the street is of sound mind, so please trust what I am saying to you.
Don't feel any less of a person because of your Mums illness, it is a very common thing and is nothing to be ashamed of. I have battled with depression myself and I know how hard it is.

What you need to do now is try to understand what happened to you, think about what I have said so you can let go of the past and move on. Everyone has problems in their life, you have had a difficult time growing up but that doesn't matter. What matters is what you make of yourself from now.
What do you want from life, do you want to feel better and have a job and a home where you can have a dog and make friends, maybe even meet a partner? Decide what you want and go for it. Prove to yourself that you can turn this around and start liking your life!!
If you want to feel better, go to your doctor. Tell him everything and plan to see a counsellor. If you need a friend or any advice, I am here. I'm only 22 but I've been through many problems in my life and will always help you. Email me any time you want, I promise I will help.
Oh and sweet heart, don't visit your neighbour their is a risk that he only wants to use you because you're vulnerable right now.
You can feel better!

Answer 3

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Nobody deserves this.
When your mum left and you were young maybe she had problems that she believed were unfair for you to deal with, she could have left to save you from something far worse than you are going through now. I don't think you did anyhting to make your mum hate you.

Flat owners get very funny about pets in their homes, and to stay there i think you will have to stick to the rules.

Your neighbour should not be asking for sex from you..this is wrong and although he has a mental illness that is not excuse to prey on someone younger. If you do not want sex with man. DO NOT DO IT!! (Also you really cannot mental illness from sex, you can catch other diseases though)

Would your mum be able to get in touch with you? Would she know where to find you?

Depending on where you live there is help out there and people who care about you. Do you have contact with a social worker? The local authority should be able to help. The church is always a good place. There are people there who want to help you.

If you never ask questions how are you meant to find out anything.Carry on asking, ask about everything.

Answer 4

Hi , I am very sorry to hear about your situation, my previous situation is nowere near the same as yours, but I had similar thoughts.
When I was in my teens I was very overweight, and 5 days a week for all the years I was at school I got shunned by everyone - probably 95% of all the kids in the year I was in.
Names - ingnored - bags kicked about etc.

For these 5 years of my life I thought it was me, and I was destined for this type of life for ever - no friends, no social life ect.

BUT when school ended, I had NO QUALIFICATIONS, as I was so affected by the 5 years at high school. I then when to college to re-do the exams - WOW - some real people who didnt care about my size - there was a mixture of adults and young adults , that treated me like an equal and I got invited (and whent) to parties - in fact many parties - from having no qualifications at 16 I eventually did computer science at university and passed!!!! - I am now 35 years old and have some great friends - friends I had at college & uni have moved on, but I have friends I see every week - which has been going on for 12-13 years!!

So, my life is not the same as yours, but do not dispare - or to anyone who does badly at school or there personal life seems in tatteres - ALL IS NOT LOST, you will have a long and happy life. - The idea of online friends is a good one, as you can say exactly what you whant without feeeling embarased, in fact you show great currage and can be a healer to open yourself up to others.

Answer 5

Bless you, I've read through your questions, you're having a really hard time of it at the moment aren't you.

Thank goodness you decided not to take those pills or to give in to your neighbours advances, you've shown great strength there, good for you.


The vast majority of people in this world have good intentions and good hearts, so talking to people here by exchanging emails is probably not a bad thing at all...

BUT if anyone asks to speak on the phone with you, your address, or for you to meet with them then **please don't do it**, they may well not be all they seem.

Most people will genuinely want to help you, but others sadly will see an opportunity to take advantage so please, it's not worth the risk, be very very careful.


My best advice is to seek youth counselling services in your area (a simple internet search should tell you where they are and how to get in touch). The people who take these jobs do so because they have experience and WANT to help you, want to listen to you. They have so much information and advice and will not judge you, you can speak to them in confidence for free, and if you find it's not for you, well you've lost nothing and can walk away at anytime. I really think this is the best way to start finding the answers you're looking for.

I hope you find peace soon, take care of yourself x x x

Answer 6

You need to do ONE thing at a time.

The main problem is finding your birth mother, who abandoned you. Channel all this negative energy away and do ONE thing. Start a campaign to find your mother. Look at ways on the internet, at how you can create free publicity & adverts, just like people do when someone is missing. Visit Missing Persons UK website and see if you can get some advise from them.

Forget that man next door. Mental illness is not contagious but as I said in your other post. Keep him OUTSIDE your house. Do not invite him in. He is not your problem and you do not need him hanging around you, whilst you are trying to trace your mother.

You have to face up to the fact that you might not succeed in finding her. It may take you months maybe years. but in the meantime, get on with your life, join a college, go to a night school, you will meet people there, find an interest. Learn another language, learn how to programme computers and go and earn a fortune. Life is what YOU make it. You will meet friends, if you channel your energies positively.

Answer 7

cant really add much to the advice above, but you can turn to people on here that youve chatted to for some time anytime you want x

and if you want a second opinion thats also cool.

what do you enjoy doing? maybe listening to music, watching films? could you watch films at the local cinema?you dont have to be with a group of people, just enjoy it (but be safe-tell that to anyone x)

my life changed recently, and now im having to fill it with new things.i know thats not the same for you, cus it seems youve always felt the way you describe, but maybe itll help

dont be scared of phoning, or visiting (maybe thats better x) the samaritans (see your local phone book for number and address)-theres absolutely nothing 'wrong' with turning to them when youre low, ok? x

keep in touch hun, youre a bright, articulate girl, and youre worth hearing from xxx

Answer 8

Firstly you are not to blame for your mother leaving, she may have had her reasons for doing this and might be time that you asked her for the answers even if you dont like the reply.
You do sound like you need some therapy or help from somewhere have a look on the websites below for information Best of luck

Answer 9

im not a christian...but jesus loves everyone.but he wont love you fo killing youself.

one thing ppl like you could do (i did...kinda same situation) is to make a lot of internet friends. you can really express yourself to these people through chat and/or email. and theres nothing worry about if they know your friends and will tell them.

your mum might have had problems, and could maybe now be strapped up in a mental hospital, screaming for you...but the doctors think shes crazy...or something like that.

Unless you KNOW that your mum doesnt care...dont think she didnt care care. think good thoughts about her unless theres proof that shes bad. trust me...itll help you through life.

u can talk to me if u want...ill be ur first 'friend'. unless u got others already. ask me anything u want. ill help as best i can.

-shame-

Answer 10

belive me girl u are a good person and u are not alone .iam sorry for u pain sorry u think u are alone u aint iam there with u mentally.my dad left when i was 2 and i was in homes from ten till 16.then prison mentall hospitals .ive tried death by cutting mysely and trying to hang myself its not the answer.DODT give u self to that man please there must be some one u can talk to go to u docter tell him how u feal have u got a socail worker.jesus does love u and u dont have to die to be there with him he is there all the time,there is hope u must not give up please try aND TALK TO SOME TODAY.