out of nowhere everything changes - sex stops - she lies - starts to be secretive - doesn't help out with her part of our responsibilities - talks to me as if I was a child - more so a "room mate" now instead of my "mate" - I can never do right in her eyes - constantly complaining about anything and everything I do - and its ok for her to have "male" friends and I cannot have any "female" friends - she is a flight attendant, so constantly out and about and around the world......my question is.....is she cheating, how can I find out (need to prove my assumptions) and how do I end this relationship if she is, when my head says get out of it, but my heart says to stay and fix it? it's easier said than done.
2007-08-16 23:47:57 · 15 answers · asked by Lilkryptonite 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lilkryptonite...how can your heart possibly be saying to stay and fix it?? The saying "follow your heart" does NOT apply in this situation...listen to what your head is saying!
It sounds like the two of you have outgrown each other. When communication starts to break down, and it reads like it does above, I'd walk out the door. No offence, but if she lies, is secretive, etc., and you are now feeling like a roommate rather than her lover, how could you even trust her again anyway? Typically, we read alot about this sort of thing in the reverse role, where the guy is the offender. Although I hate to admit it, we are the more weaker ones in general, and may try to save the relationship, but personally...I'd walk away. Don't worry at this point if she is cheating...do you even care after the way she treats you? You are right, it is "easier said than done," but, as NIKE says "just do it!" and WALK AWAY.
There is a girl out there who will appreciate you for who you are Lilkryptonite. She is just waiting for you to find her :) Good luck! :)
PS Like the diplay pic!
2007-08-17 00:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ending the relationship is a pretty big step. Its difficult to let go of someone that you've gotten use to. It's usually easier to end relationships slowly instead of just jumping out of a relationship impulsively. Make sure you are ending a bad relationship and not a good one. Sometimes it's best to try to work things out a few times before completely ending a relationship just because you are not willing to listen or give the her a second or third chance. If nothing else work it's best to end a relationship and don't just use her as a friend you keep as an emergency pal. When ending a relationships make sure you let her express herself. Sometimes people just stay with each other because there's nothing else to do. If you want to do that it's perfectly okay but make sure you are a good partner.
Make sure to give her a warning and a period to slowly get use to living without you to make sure obsessions don't develop and be honest. Don't play with her feelings by ending and then restarting the relationship just because you feel lonely. People are not toys. If you eventually change your mind and want to return to her make sure to be completely honest but if you are sure make sure to never sway from your decision to end the relationship.
2007-08-17 11:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by Sal SR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really difficult for you to find out whether you will live in out your doubts, or just leave it the relationship you have done to your current lover, when you look at an intance, your girlfriend seems not interested enough to pursue the love affairs you have, it would be a signs of getting you know how she wanted you to leave in her life as she cannot tell you personally "action speaks louder than words" she showed up you a lot of signs in order for you to turn off her so you can decide then to break up with her, if she still loves you why she intertaining some friends specially guys, it is not wrong to have friends but in a proper way, take note, one thing you have been doing such things you had been enjoyed before and now she seems not the person whom you known before, she totally changed, and perhaps she has someone and she keeps it up a ssecret and somehow she has the strenght to tell you that she does not love you anymore. she did these things because she wants that you will understand that she has been changed. In contrary, you might have to do it to confront her, why she acted like this. ask her politely and let her to reason out what are the things went wrong..ask her for a date or just a serious talk so you can resolve whatever problems you have or you can do some moves for yourself and for the betterment of both side. try to talk to her heartedly, let her know that you are affected so much of what she had done to you. be a man of words a man of strenght and a man of dignity. sometime it is better to cease a certain relationship for a greater cause than to live it in vain. try to think it better dude. and hope you can solve it as soon as possible...again THE DECISION IS YOURS...ITS GONNA BE YOUR CHOICE IF YOU WILL LIVE A LIFE OF DOUBTS OR LEAVE IT...GOOD LUCK...
2007-08-17 00:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by mcjames d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may be cheating. But remember that running from a problem is not solving the problem. You are both mature and so should have some ways of knowing what she does. If you don’t trust her then you’ll never see anything positive in her.
Also remember that you may end the relationship only to find that she was honest with you. Or get someone who is worse.
It’s better the devil we know then the angel we don’t know.
All the best
2007-08-17 00:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by tin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Granted, the next guy to figure out women will be the first, but this sounds easy to me. Something *usually* triggers these types of personality changes, so you need to talk to her. I'd put money down that she's found something on the side, bro. It just sounds that way. She also seems like she's really bossy/controlling, so you should get rid of her anyway. Just buck up, son, and get the job done. Dump her and move on. Don't waste your life chasing this chick that is already moving on herself. I don't think there are really any good ways to prove her alleged infidelity, but if you get that gut feeling, go with it. Life's too short to be in a bad relationship, man.
2007-08-16 23:55:22 · answer #5 · answered by The Ball Coach 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummmmmm. HELL YEAH she's cheating. I would get out for the simple reason that in her line of work there is no way you can trust her. Although with her arguing with you about dumb stuff sounds to me more like an intimacy thing than a sexual thing. So I would guess she's cheating with someone she knows and someone she sees on a consistent basis and she's upset that you are not acting more like him. I dont think shes using her job as a way to cheat and sleeping around from city to city. If you want out, I would just tell her. From the sound of it she wants out too but doesnt want to hurt you.
2007-08-16 23:57:58 · answer #6 · answered by pattphotosa 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
feeling can change, even if shes not cheating. you need to be blatant and ask her if the of you need a break from each other. if no answer, go on and carry about your life the way you want to. as long as you know you haven't done anything to jeopardize your integrity, its OK to have female friends. if she can, so can you. sounds like shes a control freak. personally, id take a break.
2007-08-16 23:57:26 · answer #7 · answered by jilliebean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, the only one who can fix anything is her, you can't fix her =(...you can try, but, she will have to want to change...is she cheating? hmmm...check her emails, cell phone calls, any other source of info you can check...mail coming in...she may think you are cheating or she does not trust women who she thinks are after you so she does not want you to have female friends...how old is she? how old are you? if she is still young, perhaps she is just immature and not cheating. Give her an ultimatum, to work on this relationship w/ you and only you or you are out of there...good luck!
2007-08-16 23:53:47 · answer #8 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
theres a lot u can find ways 2 investigate her...for me, just talk 2 her in a sweet and kind words so that she can let you open her secrets if she really cares about your relationship...she cant never be like that if somethings youve had argued wl or anything...or else try to find a secret way to follow her all the place she goes in...k! or seek help from your closed friends to investigate her..k! thats my simpe but heartfelt advise 2 u friend.......jus call me....UR FRIEND..GOODLUCK!
2007-08-17 00:15:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like a lot of the behavior of someone who is cheating. But let's look beyond that for a minute: Let's assume she's not cheating: She is treating you like crap! Do you want to stay in a situation like that regardless?
2007-08-16 23:52:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋