I was with someone who put me down for being Pagan, and I held to my belifs and left. Did I do the right thing

Question

Ok, this was deliberate, they did not want to talk to me about it, they just said they did not condone it and that I was not welcome if i stayed Pagan. I am sorry I was so vauge, but Its a tough subject and I am still upset...

Answer 1

Anytime you stand up for what you believe in, you are doing the right thing. It is wise to keep an open mind and hear other peoples beliefs but if they are not prepared to hear yours it is their loss. So long as your beliefs meet your needs at this time in your life and you know why you believe what you do then you are doing right in my book. Its all about informed and concious choices. Always stay open minded and always stay true to yourself, even if it is the road less travelled.

Answer 2

Holding true to yourself is ALWAYS the right thing to do, regardless of your faith.

Even christians believe in being true and loyal to their beliefs and, while someone may disagree with your beliefs, they would (if they were honest) at least understand you have to be true to yourself or else you live a lie and that's a far worse thing. (I'm not picking on christians- just an example!)

On top of which, no christian wants someone to 'convert' just because its easier -- they want a 'true' conversion where someone REALLY feels the message they preach.

So with all that in mind, I would say that holding true to yourself is the right thing to do.

I WOULD say, though, one of the things I love about not falling into the "Christian" category is the opportunity to represent my faith well- and *I* personally do that by NOT leaving. (Its different for each person)

I feel that staying and having an open, honest, and respectful dialogue with the other person puts my faith in a better light.

After all, they are the one who just showed how inconsiderate they are for putting you down, right? So now is the time to take the high road and sit down and ignore it. Putting up with their nonsense is a good representation of Paganism as a tolerant and forgiving faith instead of one which is very retaliatory.

Sit down, stay your ground, and say "Wow, I'm sorry you feel that way. Could you give me some examples as to what's caused you feel that way about Pagans?"

Then listen. Just like there are horrid christians, catholics, etc, there are horrid pagans. So sometimes 1 good one will catch the bad rap from 1000s of others.
Maybe you can talk to this person and hear why they are so bitter against someone of a different faith. Perhaps even if you cannot change their mind, you could at least represent a non-judgemental, reasonable Pagan so that this person has a good experience. :)


Its all about your patience level. If you can handle that, then sit there and talk about WHY they feel that way. Some people don't have the patience for it.

Answer 3

From that limited amount of info, I can't say.

How did they put you down? Was it through a series of insults or simply by saying that your beliefs weren't correct? Many people here get insulted simply by the fact that other people disagree with them. They really shouldn't.

If you were told irrational insults, then you made the right choice.

However, if the other person was presenting a rational argument against your beliefs, then you made the wrong one. You should have at least stuck around long enough to explain what you believe and why you believe it. Through a rational discussion, you each probably would have learned something and may have even agreed to disagree about the merits of Paganism. In this case, there is a chance that you could have been happy together.

...

In that case, you probably made the right choice. Someone who would ask you to choose between your religion and them without even discussing your religion first is generally not the type of people who you would really want to spend much time around anyway.

Answer 4

Yes, you did the right thing. Good for you as I'm sure it was difficult for you. The same thing happened to me a few years ago. I met some who I thought was wonderful. I was very honest from the beginning about my beliefs and he said he was OK with my beliefs, although he held different ones. He claimed he enjoyed good, intelligent, philosophical discussions about religion & spirituality. Well, his discussions turned into put-downs and preaching: he supposively loved me so he needed to save me from my "childish, foolish ways." I left him, and am now happily in a relationship with a like-minded Pagan man.

Best Wishes and Bright Blessings to YOU. Good luck.

Answer 5

If leaving didn't make you break an obligation of some kind.
You should never hang around people that hate you.
We don't have to hold a grudge but we don't have to be stupid or self destructive.
Love everyone includes yourself and that means keeping safe.
I know what Pagan haters can do.
I have the dental work and scars to prove it.
Never question yourself after getting out of a threatening situation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh-1JVctSOY
♥Blessed Be♥
♥=∞

Answer 6

Only you can judge whether you did the "right" or "wrong" thing. I or anyone else can sit here behind our computer screen and tell you one thing or another but you are the one who will be living with your decisions.

I personally would never change what I believed for anyone else. I would make compromises on things that I felt I could but there are certain things that I would never compromise on. You really need to decide those types of things for yourself

Bright Blessings!

Answer 7

You did the right thing. You were not going to be shown the love and tolerance you deserve. You would gain nothing from a relationship with a bigot except for heartache.

Answer 8

Being true to ones-self is the most important thing you can do. For someone to put you down is negative and you holding on to what makes you YOU is positive and the right thing to do... Good Job.

Answer 9

I applaud you! So many don't have your courage. Don't question your decision...be proud of your decision! Never second guess yourself...this person who put you down was not thinking of your feelings. (Being considerate and respectful of someone's feelings and beliefs is a pretty basic requirement in a successful relationship!) Move on with confidence and joy!!....Blessings!

Answer 10

If you are having a good discussion with no name calling that is good. Once they make it personal they have run out of arguments, look them in the eye, say I love you and leave.