I currently am dating a black girl who happens to be atheistic and everyone in my family is completly accepting except my parents. I'm pretty sure its the fact that she is black that bothers them. I love this girl with a passion. She is my everything, but I want my parents to accept her. How should I address this problem.
2007-08-16 20:26:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Think about this ok...is she your girlfriend or theirs? Did someone pick your mothers spouse for her? Did someone pick who your father would marry or did he?
They have no say in who you fall in love with. It just happens. And you can decide if you want them to rob you of that or to be a man and stand up for what you want and need in this life (as long as it isnt illegal).
They may never accept her and you have to decide if your ready for a relationship or you still want to please mom and dad. If you cant handle it then you need to let her go and find a man who will put her first.
If you ever marry her someday please dont expose her to any abuse they may dish out to her. Ive seen hundreds of women complaining their in laws abuse them and their husbands allow it.
You just have to tell your parents you are no longer a child and that who you choose to love is your decision and if they cant deal with it then they dont have to be around you.
2007-08-16 20:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
They'll get over any racial misconceptions that they have as they watch the two of you mature together. By seeing the two of you genuinely happy, it will change a lot of their seeded prejudice.
And honestly, depending on what your family's religious beliefs are, I'd be a lot more worried about the atheist part than the black part.
Make sure that you know why it is that they do not approve of her; do not assume it is a racial issue.
2007-08-17 04:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by SDW 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow my best friend is dealing with the same thing. He's Chilean, his parents are white and adopted him-- but are somehow racist toward his half-black g/f (who is a lot lighter-skinned than him!) But, he's not dealing with it right, and is about to lose the love of his life because he won't stand up to his racist parents. This guy is being so dumb I won't even talk to him right now. He's pushing this girl away by just going along with what his perents say, and he's 22!
You need to let your parents know that they need to accept who you love for who she is-- not her skin color. They need to realize that part of loving you is accepting the people that you love-- especially one you might marry. She couldn't choose to be born white, it's not her fault they hate her for her color.
In all honesty it's none of their business-- if my mom hated my b/f just because the color of his skin, I would think she wasn't worth my time if she didn't take the chance to know him for him, not his skin color.
2007-08-17 06:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by mathaowny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a problem for your parents - it's a problem for YOU - Are you saying that neither one of your parents ever mentioned their feelings about the kind of girls you should date? I talk about that kind of stuff frequently to my kids - that way, IF they bring home someone they KNOW I will not approve of, they won't be surprised at my attitude OR think they can change my mind.
I think you have quite the nerve to even think you should "address" this problem!! This girl may be "everything" to you, but she does NOT have to be "anything" to your parents - they have the right to like or not like ANYONE they want - - pushing the issue might just make everything more stressed - very doubtful it would be a wise thing to do.
2007-08-17 03:51:47 · answer #4 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Talk to them and tell them to give her a chance. She aint like every bad black out there. How old are you? that is alot of important .
2007-08-17 08:26:55 · answer #5 · answered by Confuso 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can hope is that they will get over the fact she is black, and learn to love her as much you do. some people just aren't readly for big changes, even if they don't grow to like her, if you do. then thats all that matters.
2007-08-17 03:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by SweetyPie 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think my parents would drop dead if I brought home a black guy too!
So I never even tried to date one because I know I'm setting myself up for disaster..
My advice is..if you love her then who cares what they think, if she's a good person, in time they'll learn to accept her because of their love for you..
2007-08-17 03:31:46 · answer #7 · answered by contessa 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
are your family dateing your gf or you.......you are if they dont like it them stuff them it your life not theres they cant tell you who you can and cant date....its your life
2007-08-17 04:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by badgirlforlife007 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
accept this fact and get used to it...
2007-08-17 03:39:57 · answer #9 · answered by babybear 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋