Does anyone have any Star Wars jokes? No rude answers.
2007-08-16 17:39:12 · 19 answers · asked by tilly 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Top Ten Reasons Why Star Wars Characters are Better
10. In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "stun".
9. The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp -- The Millannium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a wookie.
8. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh -- After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.
7. One word: Lightsaber
6. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire withone glance
5. The Death Star doesn't care if a world is "M" class or not.
4. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters
3. Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.
2. The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "Slave I"
1. Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power --- Han Solo floors it.
2007-08-16 17:44:28 · answer #1 · answered by gangrekalve k 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Date: Fri, 11 Jun 1999 15:33:07 -0500
"21 Reasons Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic"
1. The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.
2. Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
3. Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is just marriage bait.
4. Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
5. When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say, "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it.
6. It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.
7. Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.
8. Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.
9. We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for fun.
10. Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?
11. Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
12. There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
13. Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world?"
14. If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
15. Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
16. Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
17. Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!
18. We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, "Luke....I am your father."?
19. Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a stupid minor character.
20. When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a dork of himself at the Oscars.
21. Titanic morals: a. gamble, b. cheat on your husband, c. pose nude for pictures, d. premarital sex is OK if you're infatuated.
Star Wars morals: a. fight evil, b. do good, c. respect all life even if it's ugly and slithers, d. rescue princess, e. save planet.
2007-08-24 14:08:10 · answer #2 · answered by Dakota S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From http://home.earthlink.net/~soccerfanatic33/id3.html
Q: What goes ha-ha-ha-thump?
A: A droid laughing its head off.
Q: What is Jabba the Hutt's middle name?
A: "The"
Q: Why is the Millenium Falcon so slow?
A: Because it takes a millenium to go anywhere.
Q: What is a jedi's favorite toy?
A: A yo-yoda
Q: Why is Han Solo a loner?
A: Because he's solo.
Q: Where does Jabba the Hutt eat?
A: Pizza Hutt
Q: Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing and such?
A: At the Darth Maul, of course.
Q: What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber?
A: A Sith-Kabob!
Q: Which Star Wars character uses meat for a weapon instead of a Lightsaber?
A: Obi Wan Baloney.
Q: Which Star Wars character likes to chew gum?
A: Chewie
This one's pretty good: http://www.laughoutloud.net/star-wars-jokes/star_wars_joke_four.html
And there are too many to list on this site:
http://www.kaitaia.com/jokes/index.php?category=Star%20Wars
2007-08-19 16:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by Estes BET 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
How many Star Wars fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None they they don't believe in working. No offense to my fellow star wars fans.
2016-05-22 10:26:04 · answer #4 · answered by John Michael K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
famous man or woman Wars.Kirk is nice along with his fists, yet famous man or woman Wars is loaded with epic lightsaber duels that are skillfully choreographed. Darth Vader is between the main suitable, scariest villains in movie historic previous. famous man or woman Trek has a gaggle of creepy Vulcans and Romulans and such, And the corny Khan along with his feathered mullet and waxed chest. Spock is governed by employing good judgment, yet Chewbacca is the extra suitable co-pilot. even with the famous man or woman Wars prequels lacking, they have been first rate of their very own good using good character progression that explains the place all of it began. famous man or woman Trek on the different hand had approximately 3 good movies out of 11. i did no longer guard the corporation series and that i found it no longer basic to stay wakeful for the duration of "famous man or woman Trek: The action photograph."
2016-10-10 09:54:42 · answer #5 · answered by earles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are sitting under the Christmas tree. Vader says, "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke replies," Oh yeah? How do you know that?" Vader responds, "I have felt your presents!"
2007-08-22 03:15:40 · answer #6 · answered by brettoblaster 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
On May 4th I always tell people
"May the fourth be with you".
it only works once a year, but you'll have plenty of time to practice to duck :)
2007-08-21 19:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you wan't jokes,you may want to try a website called star wars blogs.there's a lot of jokes there
2007-08-23 06:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by Carriewhiteun-skwlker77 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋
The Phantom Menace is a joke
2016-05-04 18:14:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Duct tape is EXACTLY like the force. it has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.
2007-08-23 13:29:10 · answer #10 · answered by tabproduction 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋