HELP me if you care! please!?

Question

I'm getting overly depressed and I need some advice on how to deal with my abusive alcoholic father. Tonight I can't stop crying. So if you have had a similar experience, how did you get through it? PLEASE HELP ME!

Details to my situation are as follows:
I'm 14. My dad hasn't physically done anything to me yet, but that's because I stay out of the way. On the other hand, my mom has been hurt a few times, including tonight, but the worst she's gotten has been a broken nose. But from when I was a young child, I remember a few moments with blood everywhere. But it seems like whenever she gets hurt is when she's a bit tipsy, like after having 2 beers she's there. But under that influence she sometimes gets in his face when he yells at her instead of just blowing him off when she's sober. And when she's angry from his yelling and has a false image because she's a bit drunk that he's about to hurt her, like if he points his finger in her face, she thinks it'll bring harm and she sticks up for herself. Sometimes like swatting him away or a slap, but with him so drunk sometimes it causes him to fall, bump into something, etc. and so he only remembers this. He thinks she's the abusive one, but he only...

remembers what he wants to. And he makes up stuff and gets himself to believe it. I've been going through this my whole life, and now I feel I really need to do something. My mom can't work because she has a few medical problems and is too nervous to drive, so we both are stuck at home. My dad can never drive me places either because he's too drunk or he simply doesn't feel like it. Like he couldn't even come to my band concert because he got too drunk. But before this year he could care less about drinking&driving, but he became more cauticious after he almost got arrested for a DWI when the cops found him wobbling around and disobeying my school's visitor policy in a few ways when he forced me and my mom to go home with him because he didn't want to stay for the rest of this special concert. [This was the first time in a very long time that he took us out, but he ruined it.] But he didn't get arresed probably because I was there. (Crying my eyes out- a lotduring the breathalyzer)...

So I have been very mentally traumatized I guess, never having a stable parent or a normal life, and instead a life of fear. Now that I look back, I might have even been a bit of a messed up child. My family is all screwed up and everyone stays away from my dad, and I'm not close to anyone in the family. Or, in fact, close to any of my friends, and I'm not too sure how to open up to them. I don't want to go to a school councilor, because I'll just come out with smeared makeup and tons of tears. I don't know where else to go, since I have no means of transportation. Also, I pray every night. But I feel really bad that I'm not involved in the church, because my dad did too much in the church as a young boy and doesn't want to go back. So there's no way of getting to one although I would love to. I also feel extremely terrible for calling myself a Christian when I haven't even been baptized or has any communions yet. So what shall I do with my life?

Answer 1

You can call this number any time day or night for help....

Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

Call With any Problem, Anytime
Open 24 hours a day, everyday

Answer 2

Mine finally left, but this is what I did until then. Know that he's treating you badly because he's feeling bad and he wants to drag you down too. Don't let him win, OK. When you get sucked into the pain, you are enabling the behavior and you'll end up getting comfortable with it. It's not normal and you should do whatever, I mean whatever, it takes to convince yourself that his behavior isn't normal. Do you pray? Start.

I'm the child of an alchoholic. I married one too. Yes, pretty stupid, huh? If I knew what I just told you when I was young, I'd like to think I would have picked a different life for myself and my kids.

Make yourself proud. Make yourself the priority. He's making himself and his booze his top priority, so seriously, be strong and look to the future with wings spread wide.

I'll be praying for you. Good luck.

Answer 3

Honey I´m soooooooo sorry. First,are you physically safe? If not-leave and go some where close and safe.Prayer is awsome and I agree with the other answers so far,if you have another family memeber you TRUST that can come get you-then go-and when ¨¨DAD¨is sober enough to talk.....perhaps you can explain to him that you love him......blah blah......but you NEED HIM to go to counsiling,AA-something,youll go with him for support--------but YOU-young lady-can not and do not deserve to live this way,is what I think you should say to him---------how old are you? And if you live in AZ: it is a child protection state---------perhaps your school counsellor could be of help.............good luck..........and do pray.

Answer 4

you can go to the Alanon and Alateen websites. they may also have chatrooms.

you can also attend meetings in your community. you can check on those sites for meetings all around the country, hon.

you can look up TEENS COPING WITH ALCOHOLIC PARENTS.


where is your mother? do you have any other relatives or adult friends you trust and who might listen to your issues? sometimes it helps to have someone to lean on, and for advice.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT... please get help. start with Alanon... and find someone to talk with! please.

Answer 5

it all depens honey, on how old you are first and what your living conditions are, like is you mother around. let me know and i will try to help you.
miss myra [e-mail]

Answer 6

pray sweetie gods love and help is what you need

Answer 7

call 1-800-4ACHILD