Getting engaged at 20 whilst studying at Uni (we have 1 year left)?

Question

Hi!
So my question is: what are your opinions on being engaged at 20, whilst both partners are still studying?
My boyfriend & I have been together for a little over four years & as cliche as it may sound, know that we're 'the one' for each other. We want to get engaged soon & have a really long engagement because we want to be financially stable before we get married (finished uni, working full time, paying off a mortage & so on). Our belief is that getting engaged requires being emotionally committed & that financial stability isn't essential to get engaged - whereas it's definately essential for marriage.
We have a great relationship & our engagement will be a promise of commitment to each other, which is something we both want to do; do you think it is important to wait until we're financially set-up to do so?
What are your thoughts?
I'd really appreciate your input & opinions, but please - no snide remarks/unhelpful comments.
Thank you! :-)

Answer 1

I think you two have your heads square on your shoulders! You are certainly on the right track wanting to graduate and become financially stable prior to the actual marriage. Wonderful plan!

Go ahead and get engaged now, engagements are showing your commitment and intention to marry SOME DAY. Your engagement can be as long as you two want it to be.

Best wishes to you both, and congrats on your almost being engaged! :)

Answer 2

I personally feel that early marriage, including at the age of 20, is not the best of ideas. From what I have seen the earlier a couple gets married the harder it can be to manage that relationship. It is great that you two are being committed to each other and you two do seem to really care for each other. However, no matter how much love a couple has, financial stability is very important. I know many people say that money should never get in the way of a relationship, and I tend to agree. But, having financial stability will only make the relationship run smoother.

Of course I'm not trying to tell you what to do. If you two are truly in love with each other than nothing will ruin what you have. Having some money though truly does make things better and will allow you both to focus more on your love and not the material aspects. So what do I reccommend? Well, I personally would wait until you have more cash reserves...but you two can always work to bring in more and just not spend right away. I hope that helped, if even a bit...

Answer 3

Engagement is a great way to express your intent without the added complications of a marriage. It is definitely a good idea to delay your wedding until at least after graduation, and I like the financial stability part as well. I think it can be really beneficial to have some life experience before making a commitment like marriage.

Answer 4

Personally I don't care if you want to say you are engaged at 10. People seem to forget that engagements can be as long as you need them to be to get fully prepared and can be easily broken, unlike a legal marriage. All you are doing is stating both of your intentions to marry....doesn't mean you have to do it right away. What about arranged marriages where people are engaged from birth? Assuming enagement means immediate wedding is a very American point of view and us Americans need to learn to expand our horizons a bit and realize we don't know everything.

I would wait until you graduate, get full time jobs, and are more financially stable. Money is number one cause of divorce so no reason to add undue stress, starting married life is hard enough as it is. :o) I think you have the right idea and a level head, showing that your love is a mature lasting love and not a sexual love or blind young love which is iffy.

Answer 5

If I were you I wouldn't get engaged yet. I would wait until I finish my school, get a stable job, and have some savings on the side. What do you mean by paying off mortgage? Are the two of you planning to buy a house together after you get engaged? I strongly suggest you not to do that. Before you get married DO NOT sign your name on anything jointly. Whether it is a house or a car or a furniture or anything! I have heard so many stories, one of them is my ex-co workers and another one is one of my friends, where a couple has been together for years and years and they get engaged and then buy a house together, do you know what happened next? They break up and then they have to sell the house. You don't have to be engaged to show your commitment. Yes, both of you want the same thing. But both of you are too young. Once you finish your school, get a stable job, and have a good amount of savings THEN both of you can get engaged then get married. Plus, having a long engagement is not a good thing. The excitement of getting married in the future will fade little by little over the years. Choose wisely.

Answer 6

To me, "engagement" means "planning a wedding". Being a "boyfriend/girlfriend" means that you are commited to each other. My suggestion would be once you are ready to get married (in all senses of the word "ready": financial, emotional, etc), THEN get engaged. A promise ring is a nice gesture until you are ready to get married, then upgrade to an engagement ring.
I know that you may think that this doesn't apply to your situation, but 20 is --very-- young to get engaged. Both you and your boyfriend will grow so much in the next 4-5 years. You may not be the same people you are now. Save engagement for when you are truly ready to be married, don't use it to make a public statement that you love each other.

Answer 7

wow, you sure are on the right track! I wish most of the couples I consul would understand that one more year will make all the difference in the world. It sounds as if your love will carry you both thru the year, how wonderful. On one hand, you are already married, you have promised commitment to each other and are carrying that through. I wish you the best, Chaplain Debby, wedding minister

Answer 8

Engagement is great! but as soon as you or him discover that bar scene @21and find theres alot of hotter/more attractive people out there then your relationship is put to the test. Plus you have a ways to go to get financally stable-how long does it take to pay off a student loan???Hum..take a guess..so are you willing to wait that long with a ring on your finger? If so then your "a match made in Heaven"

Answer 9

Sweetie, I think you have a good head on your shoulder's and your thinking the right way.So do what you think best.

Answer 10

Sure go for it!