I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, we are both 18. I know we both find each other attractive. He always tells me he likes how i look. But all he ever wants to do is cuddle and kiss. I always have to initiate anything more than that. Once i get it going he loves it and gets into it and whatever, but why doesn't he ever come onto me?
Guys, is there a reason he might be doing this?? Trust me, he isn't cheating or gay.
2007-08-16 16:57:06 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Many men, in the pursuit of the feminist movement, have been taught to be reactionary (more of a feminine response) than initiative. Some men, however, do enjoy a lot of cuddling. I would recommend letting the void exist and allowing him to lead. It will be uncomfortable for a while, but ultimately end with greater security with him leading. Do note that he will likely not lead with your desired timetable though.
The other thing I would mention is that studies have shown that those who have sex before marriage have a much harder time communicating with their partner. If I were you, I would stop having sex and wait until marriage. As the old saying goes, "Why should one buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free?"
I do wish the best for you. Good luck.
2007-08-16 17:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sidewinder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest opening the topic up to him. Ask him if he has any particular issues with intimacy that may inhibit him from initiating. At 18 his sex drive should be off the charts so I would look for some sort of miscommunication that can be sorted out in an open discussion.
2007-08-16 17:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to be rebuffed.
It's a big blow to a guys ego to get a girl warm, and then have her get mad because you touched something she didn't want touched that night.
Nothing is so sharp as the tongue of an angry female!
Maybe, when the relationship becomes more permanent ( if it does) he may feel more comfortable coming on to you. In the meantime you should take comfort in knowing that you are not involved with a "player" who goes after all the happy stuff he can get!
2007-08-16 17:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he's probably afraid that that's all you think he wants......and he wants to show you that he's interested in more than what's between your legs...he may be self concious about being somewhat inexperienced....most guys that age don't have a clue what's going on bewteen your legs or what to do when they get there, so you could help him out a bit as well and show him what you like and what feels good to you to boost his self confidence.....I'd be willing to bet he's scared shi.tless of looking like he doesn't know what he's doing. help him out......the worst case scenario is that he really isn't that into it and you have to be the initiator.....if that's the case, then you may need to find someone you're more compatible with, but hopefully not. most young guys are just not sure of themselves when they get there.....they all obsess over it but are clueless when it comes time to deliver
2007-08-16 17:07:04 · answer #4 · answered by #1 bossman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys have huge sex drive until they get it. Then they just wait for the girls to take initiative. Happens to most guys. In a few years, he'll only want to lie back and let you do all the work from top. Happens a lot. Just enjoy it.
2007-08-16 17:05:16 · answer #5 · answered by blind_chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many women have been fooled by both - don't rush to answer the cheating or gay question.
An 18 year old boy who doesn't want sex enough to initiate it. Two things: Good moral upbringing or abnormal sex drive.
2007-08-16 17:03:17 · answer #6 · answered by Kay 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's probably got a ton of respect for you. He, too, could think that he may do something wrong or that you don't like if he makes the first move???
You two need to talk this out like mature adults. Whatever you do, practice SAFE sex as eighteen is soooo young!
2007-08-16 17:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he was shot down multiple times in past relationships when he tried to start sex and decided that it was just easier letting the woman initiate things, rather than dealing with the frustration. Tell him how you feel!
2007-08-16 17:03:38 · answer #8 · answered by Tom T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look guys are sexually driven beasts, its true. However we learn to temper it back. Your boyfriend is probably worried that he will put to much pressure on you for sex and you won't like it. Maybe just kissing is his from of starting it and waits to see if you will continue with it.
Or better yet don't ask us ask him
2007-08-16 17:04:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
18 and isn't all over a girl friend?
G A Y
2007-08-16 17:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by Frank S 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋