I need advice about possibly dating a single mother?

Question

Does this type of relationship work? I know that the womans primary concern is for the well being of her child as it should be. But how do you think this sort of relationship works? I know the child element changes things, but how far does it change things from having a regular relationship?

I think the woman is a great person from what I can tell so far but I'm not sure how to work a relationship if a child is involved. I don't want to hurt the innocent in the end should the child grow attached to me and the woman and I split up. Any advice on this situation would be helpful.

Wow. I didn't expect this many answers so fast. I appreciate those who took time to give me some real advice. So far I like most of the answers here.

Answer 1

This type of relationship can work very well, actually. The lady shouldn't introduce you or involve you with her child until/unless the relationship reaches a serious level, though. The good thing is, though, that mom's need to go out and have fun, too! As long as you treat her with respect and she has a great time then there is no reason why you can't just go out on a few dates...

Answer 2

i don't know how old u are and if ur comfortable taking advice from a 14 yr old. but here goes. First ask the women if u were to have a realtionship if it would invole the child. If she says yes think about how comfortable u are about that. if u have help take care of the child at some point see how u think u would do before getting into a realtionship. If u do end up in a realtionship ,when the kid is old enough explain what would happen if u 2 broke up(explain this with her first). well that is about all the advice i can give 'ya good luck. hope this helps.

Answer 3

Without playing games, don’t be available 100% of the time or let your life be an open book. A man that comes on too strong or doesn’t have outside interests will scare a woman away just as much as it would if the circumstances were reversed. Read here https://tr.im/cIots

Women don’t want to feel as though they are completely responsible for your happiness and that is what it feels like when the other person has no outside interests. Men who are overeager or jump when the woman says jump are the ones who are more likely to end up in the friend zone. This doesn’t mean that you should play the game of not calling for a few days; it means that you should set healthy boundaries until you both naturally find a spot for the other in your lives.

Answer 4

Coming from a single mother, I think I could give you a fair answer. I am not sure if she was previously married or in a serious relationship, but I am sure that she wants someone who can take, accept, and deal with the whole package. Yes, having a child involved does change things. But, maybe not as you are thinking. For now, you both need to keep the child from getting involved as much as possible. I am assuming that you haven't been seeing her for very long, so until you both are sure that a relationship is something you both want to pursue with each other, it would be best to keep the child out of the scenario as much as possible. Of course, being a single mother doesn't always lend a lot of adult time, but introducing you as a friend and being careful the way you act around each other in front of the child can help to keep things on the down-low. There can be so many emotions to arise when you do have a past where there were obviously feelings involved with another person. And, if the child's other parent is not involved in their life, then the child its self is lacking and wanting someone to fill those shoes, yet another reason not to get the child involved until you both know that there could be something serious between you.

Answer 5

First off, you need to approach this relationship with your eyes wide open. First, the child will ALWAYS come first. No matter what. So, get ready to take a back seat to that child's needs and wants. Secondly, if the woman is still in contact with child's father, expect to see him around at least until the child is 18. It can become a thorn in your side, because the father of child, can be jealous that the mother has found happiness, and he may want to rain on her (and your) parade. Say, for example, you have a romantic evening planned with her, and it is his weekend to have the child, and you both are ready to go to dinner, then whatever else you have planned, and he decides not to show up to pick up the child. It gets old after a while. And another thing, is disciplining the child. You have to know the boundaries, of what you can and cannot do regarding correcting the child when he/she does something wrong. Then, when the child is upset, he/she can use the correction that you have given the child against you. Dating a person with a child is difficult, but if you truly love her, and are not selfish, and are willing to share your time with the mother and equally with her child, you CAN make it work. The most important thing, is to talk with the mother, and tell her that you are interested in taking her out, your not in a committed relationship at the moment with her, so test the waters, and if it feels like you are drowning, tell her, it's not going to work. Don't meet her child right away, until she feels comfortable with you around her and her child. That way, the child or you won't feel the emotional attachment right away, as you are beginning your relationship. When you both decide to become an "official couple" then meet her child. Be honest with her, and with yourself. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to be.

Answer 6

You should just date her outside of the house for awhile and not be around her child to much. Evaluate her first to see if you want to first build a relationship with this woman. Then if you feel comfortable and want it to become more serious, then hand around the house more and introduce your self to the child.

Hope all works out
♥ KC

Answer 7

I guess I"ll add to your long list of advice. Single mothers are women too. There actually is the bonus when dating a single mom because you can see a side of her that you may not have otherwise seen if she had no children. She may be a bit distant and you must understand that it is her instinct to protect her child(ren).

When dating a mom you need to understand that she cannot go out everynight, she cannot stay out very late, she cannot do things on a whim, like fly out of town for the weeked. these things take planning and it is the biggest and most desireable man that knows these things and understands them. Good luck with your relationship. Generally, a good mother is a good woman, if you really want to know the type of person she is...watch her interact with her child(ren). if she is the controlling type she wil govern everything her child does, if she is the nurturing tye she will be lovingly gentle, if she's flat out psycho...well you'll notice.lol. Good Luck again.

Answer 8

If you really like her then try to ask her out. Don't meet her child yet until you are sure the two of you have the same interest and the two of you are a perfect match. If the child never sees you then the child won't get attached to you. Once the two of you agree that your relationship is going good then you can meet the child. But even the two of you are on the same page in term of where the relationship lies there are still possibilities that the two of you might break up in the future. Just don't get too close to the child until the two of you get married.

Answer 9

Ladies with kids are no problem as long as you can cope with an instant family. Big problems are usually financial. You at least have the say on if you will contribute to upbringing the child, by actually forming a relation.

Unlike Ladies dating men with kids (ex with kids) and the man is losing his dough to alimony, this is seen by many as a contentious issue that causes jealousy and breaks the relationship.

On and don't forget if the emotional ties to ex, if she was not the one who left. As ex will be about to see kids. (if ex is still about). Read others for more fun facts

Answer 10

You are very sweet to think of the aspect involving the innocense of a child. You need to start slow, and away from her kid. Learn all you can about her, but do of course show interest in her child when SHE brings up the topic. If she tries to push, be truthful, and tell her you are concerned for her kids emotional stability, and until you two know where your relationship is going, it's unfair to let them get attached. I think your great, and someday, when you are ready, will obviously make a great husband, and father! Good luck!