I had this boyfriend for a long time, we were together for about 4-5 years, then we broke up. For about a year or so we didn't see or spoke to each other. Then we met again, and we began talking and stuff, we have a nice friendship we're very close friends. Obviously Im still in love with him. He's never had another girlfriend after me, i mean he dates and stuff but not a gf. Same with me. Last night he called to tell me about this new girl he had been dating...and my advice was...take her out of the picture...forget about her ...and he said yeah i will...and he did it.
I need to know, how can I tell him that I still love him without being...umm ridiculous? or how can i get to see him just as a very close friend, who usually tells me nice things and invites me to dinner and hangs out w me a lot? THANKS
2007-08-16 16:20:52 · 20 answers · asked by Mrsprincessconsuelabananahammock 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG! I'm really moved, im about to drop a tear and cry a bit :-D thank you people for being so nice, and giving those answers
2007-08-16 16:30:44 · update #1
P.S: We stopped talking for a year, but we've been really good close friends for umm 2 years maybe or a bit more.
2007-08-16 16:59:55 · update #2
Ok, here's my advice...wait a few more signs...by few I really mean few, and be aware every second you spend with him from now on . Then tell him in a nice sweet un-compromising why how you feel and kinda let him remember how great u where together... I'm convinced by what you say here, that he's still sooo into you...Guys usually don't act this way..and still I'm pretty sure he's the only ex u still talk to...am i right? Go ahead he loves u too! 4-5 years is a lot of time, I'm pretty sure all you needed was a break to see how much u need each other.
2007-08-20 14:45:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
# 1 Be an adult - tell him the truth. You don't have to be soppy or all dramatic, just tell him that you're interested in him. Is he different now? Are you? Talk about these things.
# 2 He told you about this girl becatuse he's trying to gauge what you're feeling. I'm glad that you told him to take her out of the picture. You don't need to be "the other woman" and it is unnecessary for you to do it to her.
# 3 Don't force being friends. You obviously can't instantly be boyfriend/girlfriend again, so what makes you think you can "just be friends" that quickly? Sorry to say it, but you can't always be friends with people you once loved/still love.
# 4 Dudes are dudes. If he's inviting you to just hang out and you haven't given him any sign that you want something else from him, don't get too upset if he is surprised, or angry, or shocked. There's a reason that you were out of contact for almost a year. Honor the time you spent apart as time that helped you be who you are now. Don't compromise yourself because Dudes are DUDES. LOL. They just think about things as deeply as you do.
# 5. I know I just said it, but don't compromise yourself. If you like who you are and you're in a good place, don't fall back into something that isn't healthy. Love is love, but life is life and you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else.
Good luck babe!
2007-08-16 23:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by kissmehrass216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really common behavior.
It's unusual to make a clean break after that long a time of dating. You're hardwired into each other's brain and you have no doubt seen each other naked, a lot.
Eventually you'll both move on and stop talking, but in the meantime, he sees you as someone to who he can say and and do anything without being embarassed. You're safe, better than any therapist, and you probably still have enjoyable sex with each other.
Anyway, you'll both eventually move on to other people and be happy. Don't worry about it. And who knows, you could be the exception and get married some day.
2007-08-16 23:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by matt123169 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever wonder what when wrong during the courtship period which causes the breaks up.
Your ex may treat you as a good friend which he can put his trust on you. But that doesn't mean both of you are ready to go into relationship again. Perhaps let him have other choices before asking him the same old question.
Let nature takes it cause. Don't be too impatient or you may blow up another chance. Both of you will come to a day when you 2 know what you want for each other.
2007-08-16 23:31:42 · answer #4 · answered by john y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could either ease it in a a conversation, tell him how you feel about him, or if you feel that you would probably be to nervous to do that then write it in a letter either way you got to tell him he seems like the one if you ask me and talk to him and try and sort out why you guys broke up in the first place because 5 years seems to be a very long time.
2007-08-16 23:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by Keewani B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy. If he would break up with a girl because you said to do so, he probably feels the same way about you. I personally don't like beating around the bush. I would rather have a girl exactly how she feels, whether they like me or not. If they make it clear either way, it's easier to plan the next step in the relationship or just move on.
2007-08-16 23:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by ChaChi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously still interested in you. Talk to him about old times, see how he responds. If he is excited about the old memories then chances are he wants you back. Do not make the first move however, flirt a little (not too blatantly) and see what happens. Good luck!
2007-08-16 23:29:06 · answer #7 · answered by Gotta know for sure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in love with someone it is going to be hard to just turn off those feelings and just be friends. Chances are that he still likes you too. You should just tell him. He will find out eventually if you try and drop hits. He will respect you morey just saying it. I think next time you guys hang out around the end you should just say it. Just give yourself plenty of time. Good luck!
2007-08-16 23:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him pretty much the same thing that you wrote here....I mean I bet he's probably thinking the same things as you...and you never know unless you ask...its not ridiculous....Although be careful about getting back together...and ask yourself why it didn't work out initially and if it can be different or not....
2007-08-16 23:26:58 · answer #9 · answered by Christopher H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so you like this guy, and its pretty obvious he still likes you. i think you need to tell him EXACTLY how you feel. write it in a letter or an email, because those are alot easier than talking in person, bcuz you can shy away/freeze up and then he'll never knoe how u feel.
Chances are... he feels the same way about you
2007-08-16 23:27:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋