I have trouble talking with my dad mostly asking him for advice because he never hears me out first. He begins giving me the solution when.......he doesn't know what the problem is yet. He tells me all the time..."You should listen to me," but he doesn't seem to understand that listening is a two way street. I love him dearly just can't seem to communicate with him. Anyone have a problem like this with their dad? I'd appreciate any advice.
2007-08-16 15:57:25 · 16 answers · asked by Marky Marc 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your father want to feel important, First Listen to everything that he has said, even if you think he is blabbering on about crap...DO NOT BUTT IN AT ALL. Finally when he has finnished, reapeat to him in your own words what he has said to you so he know's that you have listened to him 100%, then you can disagree, talk to him carmly without being to defensive, this is when you put your point to him about how you feel and ask him what he thinks about what you have said and the advice you need from him about this. Always make him feel important :> it will make him feel that you value his opion and maybe then he wont be so hard headed on you as he thinks you are listening to him.
2007-08-16 16:11:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out the rules for "The Speaker-Listener Technique":
Rules for the Speaker/Listener Technique
* Both People
1. Share the floor - One at a time, but take turns.
- The "floor" is a physical object (often looking like a piece of floor tile) that you can pass back and forth.
2. No problem solving - This is discussion only.
Seek first to understand then to be understood.
* Speaker
1. Break what you say into short bites - Don't go on and on.
2. Speak for yourself - No mind reading or assumptions about the other person.
* Listener
1. Paraphrase back to the speaker what you hear.
2. Focus on Speaker's message - Don't rebut.
Edit out your tendency to respond or disagree - internally and externally.
Share the floor back and forth until each side feels understood and heard.
2007-08-16 16:06:16 · answer #2 · answered by Sidewinder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of 4 boys, I can only hope and pray that they will be mature enough come to me or their dad for advice like you try to do with your Dad. Shame on him for not hearing you out! Do you have a Mother in the picture? Sounds like it's just your Dad's personality causing the problem. How about writing a letter to him explaining the problem so he has it right in front of him to reread if he needs to. Then perhaps he could try to be a better listener? Or you could find information on being a better listener and give it to him? Good luck!
2007-08-16 16:04:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men from older generations are taught to fix it if it broke or just leave it alone if all "seems" well. Tell your dad to listen to you first. Say "dad I want to tell you something but I want you to hear me out first before you say anything, its really important to me that you just listen." If you can say that you stand a chance...work with him..bad habits dont break overnight so dont be so quick to give up. You will rely on this mans advice long after you start your own family. Good luck.
2007-08-16 16:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by stickitywit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, go to him with this problem and ask him for a solution. Don't bring it up when you're talking about something else. Tell him how you feel and if he interrupts you should say, "you should listen to me first". Don't say it in a rude way or anything and maybe it'll finally ring in his ears what is wrong. Good luck.
2007-08-16 16:03:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is like when I talk to my brother. He never listens to the other person and just talks constantly. Noone wants to be near him because he can never shut-up long enough for the other person to speak. You're right, conversations are two-way. Speak, but also pause and listen to the other person once in a while.
2007-08-16 16:04:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him since he never lets you finish what you need to say when your trying to get his help that you will seek advice somewhere else. Say it makes you sad that you have to do that but he is pushing you away with him being in such a hurry all the time that he wont let you explain things the way you need to.
2007-08-16 19:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the exact same problem when I was a teenager.. The main thing to remember is to love him, anyway. He is trying to fulfill his role as leader in the house. Do things that are outstanding to try to capture his attention. If that does not work, don't worry about it. It is his loss not to communicate with his beautiful daughter. Grams
2007-08-16 16:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to understand that Dad has spent the last two decades telling you what to do. You have to firmly interrupt him and say, "Wait until I stop speaking before you solve my problem for me." If you're nice about it, hopefully he'll laugh and get the point.
2007-08-16 16:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by matt123169 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you can't do much to change his ways. My parents are this way, too. I've just accepted that I can't talk to them, so I've found other people I can talk to. If you really want to talk to your dad, you should let him clearly know that you want him to listen and try to understand.
2007-08-16 16:04:12 · answer #10 · answered by snowangels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋