HELP!!??!! I've posted this question like three times and no one answers?

Question

okay... Im dating this guy, he's great when we r together.... but when we r appart I feel like he doesnrt care.... he's getting less afectionate, we see eachother less often, and I wonder does he care..... How can i talk about this with him... like what do I say exactly.... cause I'll screw it up.. Thanks to anyone who answers this!
sincerly
Clueless

Answer 1

Jen, in my humble opinion you need to sit down and be as honest with this guy as humanly possible. Explain to him what your concerns are exactly. But you have to do so in a mature and open minded manner, and also be prepared for possible good or bad response. Regardless of how he answers your concerns eventually you will feel like a 1000 pound rock has been lifted off your chest and feel confident for saying what needs to be discussed. Best of luck to you both.

Answer 2

I think My GF might feel the same way. I love her the same, but I just need some ME time. He may feel like this too.

In order to transition from "just dating" to a more solid, long term relationship you both have to be comfortable enough to spend time away from eachother.

I think by talking about it with him just shows that how out of touch with his feelings you may be. True, your feelings are just important, but he didn't break up with you. Obviously he still wants to be with you.

Just be cool. Find something to do on your own or with other people. Don't be so insecure. Try to keep in mind the reason you two came together in the first place. If it was a truly mature, experienced, and informed reason then there's no reason to dig any further than that, you already struck gold!

Answer 3

It's not him, it's you. You said it's great when you are together, that 's a good indication that your relationship is going good. But when he's not around you feel like he doesn't care. That's you, tripping out and finding faults in him. Maybe you just can't stand being alone. If he's good to you when he's with you, then he cares, you shouldn't even need to ask him that, it's obvious. I don't want to be mean but I'm going to tell you this because you sincerely sound like you want help: you sound like you are way too "needy." The fact that he is spending less time with you, may be because your neediness is turning him off. If he was a jerk to you in person, that would be a blatant fact that he doesn't want to be with you. So whatever it is you are feeling, it's coming from your insecurity. I suggest you work on your self-esteem, spend more time with friends, and get a hobby. If you go whining to him about wanting more time, and more affection, and more whatever, he is probably going to feel annoyed, and will actually want to give you less. If you want more time, try asking him out more. If you want more affection, try giving him more. If he pulls away from you, then you will know that something is wrong. Good luck.

Answer 4

No one is going to feed you the words "exactly." That's probably why no one answers. So if you screw it up, what happens? You learn what not to say next time. The world doesn't end. Sounds like you're young enough to have many more dates.

Ask him. Or another approach is to chat up other guys and see if he notices, and becomes more interested again.

And stop seeing yourself as clueless. Maybe he wants a woman who can give him a run for his money. ;-)

Answer 5

i say u talk to him about it, confront him!
u should say pretty much exactly what u tell us,
tell him that its reat when ur together and u love him, but when ur appart u don't feel the same affection that u used to,
if ur having trouble starting the convo off, maybe just ask him if u can talk for a sec, cuz most guys should like to listen when a girl says that unless they r insensitive...
and don't just break up without talking first, ppl hate that especially without a reason
so just talk to him and tell him exactly whats on ur mind!
Good Luck through the hard times:D

Answer 6

he is losing interest. He sounds like the type that will end up disappearing out of your life when you least expct it. I was in a situation like this.I cant tell you why he is doing this, just take it as a loss. He apparently is not worth your time, and is willing to waste your time until he "finds better". I wish you luck, and dont suffer the heartache that I went through dealing with a person like this.

Answer 7

Straight up just ask him about it. That is really the only way to find the answer you are looking for. I'm sure what to tell you how to ask him. But your mind will not be put at easy until you do. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Just remember you could hear something you don't want to hear. I'm here if you need to talk.

Answer 8

You need to get a life outside of this guy. Don't get me wrong - you don't need to break up, but you need to have a life of your own.

It sounds like when you are together you guys are just great but when you are not together you get all freaked out. Spend that freaked out time doing things you liked to do before you were together. Hanging out with your girlfriends, take a course or do a sport or ... Something.

You need to live your life before you can share your life.
good luck.

Answer 9

The next time you are with him, say to him "I don't feel like I see you very much these days. " hug him and say "I miss this-I miss us. Ask him "why it seems you spend more time missing him than being together." Ask him if he is ok with so little time for yall to spend together. Honesty just clears the questions in your mind and in the air. Good Luck!

Answer 10

if hes getting less effectionet do you think there might be someone else???I mean if he cared about you youd think he would want to spend time with you . I mean unless hes married or something Id Just come out and say we need to talk and Id ask him whats the problem cause something isnt right about that picture...Dont get hurt look out for you and be true to your heart..........................It will always be there even if he isnt......