I need reassurance that I did the right thing.?

Question

So I started working at Mobil on Tuesday and my stalker person came in and I freaked out. I came home and still wasn't asleep by fou in the morning. Then I went back yesterday and worked and he came in again and I freaked out. I was going to wait on him but then the person who was training me seen the look on my face and came and rescued me. I went and told my boss yesterday about this guy and how I didn't feel safe becuz of him and she told me that he was a regular for more then 10 years and that she can't just bann him. I either had to find a way to get used to it or I had to quit. I've been talking to this person who works at a shelter and some other people and all of them told me that my safety should always come first so if I didn't feel safe that I should quit. I didn't want to quit but I did. And now I regret it. I feel as if I should be over it. What is wrong wtih me?? I have to lie to my parents about not having a job anymore cuz they wouldn't approve of quiting for that....

reason. I'm telling them that the person I'm replacing decided to stay and not leave. I kinda feel bad for not telling them the truth but then at the same time I know that they wouldn't understand the real reason for quitting. This guy hurt me and they know that and they told me that I over reacted and that I just need to get over it. Maybe I should just get over it. I don't know anymore. Am I right for quitting my job or am I totally crazy???

Answer 1

If you felt unsafe and uncomfortable, then quitting was a good thing to do. The fact that your manager did nothing worries me, and the fact that your parents care more about you having a job than your safety at any given job worries me. Jobs are a dime a dozen. Getting another one should be no problem. Your safety and comfort are things that you should NEVER give up at a job, because anything can and will happen when you have your back turned.

Answer 2

Stalking became against the law in 1994
in australia, the victorian institue of forensic mental health established a stalking clinic in 1995 to treat victims and advise health workers, police and courts (which i strongly suggest you contact because what this guy is doing is illegal)
you can issue a restraining order out on this guy and if he breaks this, then he can face jail. Its a very serious offence and police dont take it lightly. Ask at a police station how to go about getting a restraining order. You may also be able to claim compensation for stress and trauma from quitting your job because you feared for your life. either the government or mobil will have to financially compensate you for this. DONT let it just slide by, get onto it and fast.

following are the legal rules about stalking ( i have an access and justice legal book here)
1. Penalty for stalking another person is level 5 imprisonment (up to 10 years maximum)
2. Stalking is classified as
- following the victim
- telephoning, sending emails, text messaging, or any other means to try to contact the victim
- entering or loitering outside or near the victims residence or WORK PLACE, BUSINESS, that is frequented by the victim
- interfering with property in the victims possession
- giving offensive material to the victim or leaving it where it will be found, given to or brought to the attention of the victim
- keeping and watching the victim under surveillance, including taking photos, filming with a camera without the victims consent
- acting in any other way that could reasonably be the expected to arouse apprehension or fear in the victim for his or her own safety

This person needs to be stopped and he is getting away with it. what he is doing is illegal and he can be put in jail. please contact the police and get this physco of the streets. hope this helps and i wish you all the best

Answer 3

You did the right thing by quitting. Being stalked is not funny or anything to take lightly whatsoever. You are reacted and behaving perfectly normal. Why should you continue working in an unsafe and disturbing job due to an mentally unbalanced person's "right" to keep patronizing a specific Mobil station? He'd only bring problems again. And as for feeling "as if I should be over it", that's trivializing a serious problem. You should be cautious and careful about this person's knowing anything about you whatsoever. If your parents do not support you in taking precautions about your own personal safety, which is very narrow-minded and cruel, then tell them that the previous employee chose to return and the employer went with that. That's it. You don't have to explain or apologize your fears of some wierdo who disturbed your peace of mind, honey.

Answer 4

One thing about being a female is ..you're entitiled to any feelings you may have. If you felt unsafe you should be able to discuss this with a trusted relative or friend or a school counselor or mentor if not your very own parents. Cultures are different everywhere. I had some correspondence with someone working with Shell in Nigeria. It turned out to be scammers lurking on American women. I hope you have safe transportation and do not feel as if you are being followed. Always lock your doors and try to be aware of your surroundings. Never stop for a hitchhiker either. Be safe.

Answer 5

Sounds like you have fears associated with strangers and one's that make you uneasy. you will over your lifetime come in contact with people that just don't sit right and given that you are in a public place and this type of business, it's almost unavoidable. you should only feel uneasy if this person started doing odd things in your presence, but since he's just a customer who came in and had been for over 10 years, I think your fears are not justified. On the other hand, you were listening to your sixth sense and it may be right. As far as doing the right thing, can't answer that one honestly. Question that comes to mind is were you alone when closing the store or did you close and were you ever working alone?

I hope you find peace with yourself and start finding another job. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I would get a second opinion from another worker there to see if he actually is a regular there. Why do you feel he is stalking you? Sounds like you might be a little on the paranoid side but if you have legitimate reasons then dont worry about it. Is this the first episode you have ever had of feeling someone is stalking you? Maybe you just arent ready to work with the public. Thats normal. Alot of people think other people are studying them. Thats what happens with road rage. Stay on your guard but be sensible. Your gonna have to work somewhere. Try to be more assertive.

Answer 7

I would have done the same thing. If you felt an eerie disturbing vibe from him chances are he is not safe. I have had my share of creepy stalkers and the best thing to do is get as far away as you can from them. Good choice. But why can't you tell your parents the real reason? That isn't something to be ashamed of, he scared you and that is a very real emotion that isn't going to just go away. Find a new job that is someplace he isn't likely to go to. Good luck, be safe.

Answer 8

First, fear is real...and it may not be real to someone else, or as big of a deal to soemone else, bit it is real to you....SO you are not stupid...I do not know what this person did to you...but it sounds like he has traumatized you in some way....Take a deep breathe, think the words "calm" and "peace" in your head....try to remain calm in his presence and think that he can not hurt you at this moment....

Second, you need to get counselling to get over this fear...You are not crazy, but you do need to learn how to cope with this issue and fear so that it does not take control of your life....

I can not say whether you made a mistake, you have to live with seeing him at work, and only you know how you feel....Do not let other people tell you your stupid...you felt in danger, you made the choice based on that.

Answer 9

You were right to quit, and right to not tell your parents.
You think that they wouldn't be supportive, and would create even more stress for you. That's reason enough to not tell them.
There's no law that says they have to know everything about you. It doesn't mean you don't love them. It just means that you're realistic about the sort of things they can handle.
(and I bet there are things in their life that they have never told you! so it goes both ways).
I'd think about telling the police though.

Answer 10

Absolutely, you were right to quit.
You did not say exactly what this guy did to you, but apparently it has a major effect. There is nothing wrong with you. This person hurt you somehow, and he is at fault. He is terrorizing you.

If this person finds you in other places, maybe you need to take a trip to the police station and get a restraining order.